By Phil Scovell
Recently, due to to having a cold and sore throat, my wife said something to me which invoked an abrupt defensive response from me. What she had said, out of frustration and anger due to circumstances, touched something raw and deep within my emotions and imprecated a harsh verbal reaction.
Some time later that day, I was seated on the deck swing behind our house. I wasn't physically feeling well due to my cold but the acute utterance I heard from my wife penetrated deeply and the moment she spoke it, an older and deeper point of woundedness began to emotionally throb. In spite of how I felt physically, and knowing, I wasn't wrong, after all, both verbal statements were, in fact, wrong, and, for that matter, my wife had apologized in both cases, my spirit began to automatically search for the source of pain which I knew shouldn't be there. I knew it was deeper due to how I felt and responded when triggered. Unwilling to even consider praying, I found myself doing exactly that and wordlessly. When I examined my present feelings, based upon what my wife had said, it immediately bumped into the previous occasion. "Wrong both times," I reasoned, "So what am I looking for that correspond with the pain I feel?" Instantly, my mind flashed back to the death of my father. I was frustrated. How many times in my life was I going to be taken back to my father's death for healing of emotional pain and woundedness? After all, he had been dead over 45 years. How could something that old continually be effecting me after 52 years of walking with the Lord as a born again Christian. I mean, wasn't all of this settled at the cross for Christians? I knew the answer to these questions but being ill clouded my judgment. So I examined my feelings; asking the Lord to show me how these events all tied together so that I might be healed. I abruptly saw it, via the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, and understood what the Lord Jesus was trying to show me. One of the lies still implanted in my mind concerning my father's death was related to why he died. This was something that any little boy would find, even as a Christian, with a Christian mother and family, difficult to understand. Furthermore, with the Enemy taking advantage of the situation of spiritual confusion that this same little boy had at the time, events were ideal for demonic intrusion. When I ask, silently in my thoughts, "What is the lie I am not seeing, Lord?" He showed me in a split second of time. I believed a lie that my father died because he truly did not love me. Of course, it sounds ridiculous even now to say it but as soon as I heard it in my thoughts as I prayed, I knew it had been literally spoken, implanted, into my bewildered mind which related to trying to sort out why my father had died and left me all alone. Yes, it was a lie. No, it wasn't a confused little boy that misunderstood and misread the circumstances of his father's death. No, it wasn't the result of someone misinforming the little boy as to the reason for his father's unanticipated death. No, it wasn't a psychological area of perplexity that a child experience due to a lack of knowledge. How is this known? Because, as a born again Christian, even at the age of 11 years, I knew my father died and went to Heaven. The Enemy employed the opportunity to penetrate my thoughts and implant a lie. Why? So years later, he could utilize the same lie to confused and aggravate circumstances to try and make me believe my own wife didn't love me. Of course, that seems stupid, too, because for 38 years, I have known my wife loved me. It does not have to make sense, as far as the Enemy is concerned, it just has to cause confusion, uncertainty, and most of all, doubt, in the minds of a Believer.
I am sharing this experience to show how current day events and experiences can, so easily, trigger memories, which contain lies, in order that the Enemy can destabilize, or otherwise unbalance, God's Lordship in our lives and distort the relationship He, the true Lord Jesus Christ, wants to have with us intimately. It is commonplace for lies to tie together and trigger deep rooted pain and woundedness in such a way that we literally feel to be the injured one and justifiably so when nothing could be further from the truth. The Enemy works diligently at making it all complex and impossible to be discerned. The Holy Spirit, on the other hand, reveals the simplicity of the lies and heals the areas of woundedness and pain for ever. Thus it is, I later was able to tell my wife I would not be bringing these incidences up again because the places were healed from the source, that is, the origin.
Do you hear the voice of the Holy Spirit? Does He set you free; healing the pain and curing the woundedness that may be many years old? Do you pray from your spirit, with the aid of the Holy Spirit, automatically and without human intervention? Is prayer as natural as breathing? Isn't it about time to let Jesus share in the pain you fear and the doubts you tolerate do to pride?
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