The Naked Truth
By Phil Scovell
18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be
bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be
loosed in heaven.
19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as
touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of
my Father which is in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am
I in the midst of them.
I had no memory, no conscious memory, of the event. In fact, it
had been at least fifty years since I had experienced it. In short, I
never knew it was there because it had been buried so deep, it never
came to the surface of my memory. It had definitely influenced me,
however, for five decades.
There are a number of Christians today making a living off their
critical analysis over anything they don't understand. They label it
New Age, Biblical heresy, Scriptural skewing, textual tampering,
psychological trickery, psychiatrical theatrics, eastern meditation,
medical quackery, theological foolishness, doctrinal dramatization,
mental magic, and even demonic. That last one I never have been able
to figure out because when Jesus was confronted with the same
criticisms by the religious people of His day, this is what He said to
22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and
dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake
23 And all the people were amazed, and said, Is not this the son of
24 But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not
cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.
25 And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom
divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or
house divided against itself shall not stand:
26 And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how
shall then his kingdom stand?
27 And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your children
cast them out? therefore they shall be your judges.
28 But if I cast out devils by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of
God is come unto you, (Matthew 12:22-28).
I could be wrong, of course, but this response by our Lord sort of
sounded like a rebuke. I think Jesus was trying to tell these
religious unbelievers of what they were witnessing, that their
children were smarter than they were and if children could understand
it, well then?" Interpret it as you wish. Let me tell you the rest
of my experience.
In a few prayer sessions several years ago, we were looking for
the origin, or source, of what was causing anxiety and panic attacks
that had literally commandeered my life. I was hearing voices, having
horrible nightmares, experiencing brain fog, and was unable to eat
One day, as this man and I did nothing but pray together, a
picture, like a black and white photograph, flashed in my mind. The
second I saw it, I was amazed. I had never recalled seeing this
memory, although it had occurred fifty years ago, but the split second
I saw the picture, I clearly remembered it.
As we prayed together, my mind backed up one click, that is, one
picture frame. I was a little boy and could hardly walk. I remember
being in our living room. I couldn't see my mom. I walked to her bed
room door, which was ajar. I remember thinking, maybe mommy is in
there. I walked toward the door and I recall going slowly because I
tottered while walking and I didn't want to lose my balance and fall.
I put my hands on the door and pushed and nearly fell into the
room. My mother was stark naked. She had gone to change her clothes.
The second I stepped into the bed room and saw my mother completely
naked, I froze. The picture stopped. Something was wrong; terribly
wrong. I could feel it in the air. I didn't know what it was all
about but I felt confused and perplexed. I knew, instinctively, that
I wasn't supposed to see my mother this way but how could I know that?
I wasn't even a year old. How could I think it was wrong yet that's
how I felt; wrong. It took a total of three prayer sessions to find
the answer to this one question.
Approaching this memory created even greater fear and anxiety. I
was horribly afraid that perhaps I had been molested by my mother.
Why would I think such a thing? My mother was now 80 years of age
and, as we later learned, just a few months away from death. I
couldn't confront an 80 year old woman now; not now. She was ill
after multiple strokes. Yet, I was horribly and dreadfully afraid I
might very well be a victim of child molestation. My fear and anxiety
During our followup prayer session a few days later, I was too
fearful to even go to that memory nor did we. I could not let myself
think my own mother had molested me. She had been my best friend
growing up and I loved her dearly. At the end of the second prayer
session related to this memory, I confessed that I couldn't go to the
memory because I was afraid it might utterly destroy the picture I had
of my mother in my heart. The man prayed and asked if that would
happen if I learned the truth from the Lord Jesus. I clearly heard
the Lord tell me in my spirit that nothing of the sort would happen.
I felt relief, and confidence, that Jesus, my Lord, wouldn't let
anything bad happen to me. I somehow knew the truth would indeed make
me free as He promised.
During the third prayer session, as soon as we began to pray, I
saw myself in that bed room and the look on my face as I stood frozen
in time at what I saw.
Although I could not figure out what was wrong, I felt something
was. Yet, this time, based upon what Jesus had promised me in the
previous prayer session, I somehow wasn't afraid of the truth.
I heard the man praying in the background but I don't know what
he was saying. I looked at the little boy in the picture who, of
course, was me. I said in my thoughts, "Lord, what was I thinking?"
The words that I heard next were unmistakable, in origin, in content,
and in feeling.
"See. You should have been a woman."
Now, those who are skeptics of intercessory prayer, are going to
have to explain to me, first of all, why had I not thought of this
memory for nearly fifty years, and secondly, how did those very words
get into my mind? Someone may say, the man praying with me suggested
this memory picture, and these thoughts I had, and these words to me.
Of course, if you believe that, you would be utterly wrong. He did no
such thing because he personally had no knowledge of these things
until I told him. So what are the answers to my questions, that is,
how was it that this memory lay dormant for 50 years, and how did
those words get into a little boy's mind? I'm sure, being the skeptic
you are, there will be some cockamamie answer that has already settled
it in your mind but I will refresh your memory of something you have
already forgotten. Fact. I was already fearful that this was the
very moment in time that I was sexually molested by my mother. That
alone was impossible in my adult mind but the memory wasn't of an
adult, it was of a small little boy who had just learned to walk and
wasn't very stable on his legs even then.
Let me answer the second question first, and that is, how did
those words get into a little, less than a year old, boy's mind? As
you may recall, I stated that the second I pushed open the bed room
door and walked in and saw my mother fully unclothed, I felt something
was very wrong. I asked you at the time, how would I know something
of this nature was wrong? Was it? The answer is simple. No, it
wasn't wrong, it wasn't sin, and I wasn't molested. So, what was
wrong? What was it, that I felt at only nine or ten months of age,
that was so wrong? Do you think a toddler would have already
developed the mental awareness that nakedness is wrong or sinful? Do
you think a toddler would feel confusion at what he saw and especially
if what he saw was his own mother? After all, I didn't walk in on my
sisters. I wasn't spending the night at a friends years later and
walked in and saw his mother in the nude. So, I ask you again. Where
did my confusion and the words I so clearly heard spoken, come from?
Did Jesus speak these words? Don't make me laugh. While you are
trying to figure out your answers, let me explain it and especially
since it happened to me, I should know. Right? You decide.
There are a couple of other aspects of this true story you may
not have heard unless, of course, you read some of my other
testimonies. First, as a very young boy, I had some experimental
sexual contact with another older boy in the neighborhood. This I
later explained to my father, who at my young age, explained in very
childlike terms, that such contact wasn't proper or Christian.
Furthermore, when I asked him what I should say if the boy tried it
again, dad simply said to tell him that you don't want to do that any
more. He did attempt it again, I did as dad had suggested, and the
boy never did it again. Something you might find interesting,
however, is that I learned many years later, this boy became a
Fast forward with me now more than 25 years into the future. I
was an assistant pastor. Although I had been totally blind since I
had been 12 years of age, I had been preaching full time since I was
23 years old. My wife and I had our first child. He was about 2
years old when I took this position in this church. It was a small
church of about 60 people.
One day, the pastor called me into his office. He told me that
he would be resigning and moving to another town about a hundred miles
distant to begin a new church. He was confident the church would ask
me to take his place. Later, he even recommended to the board that I
take his place. They had other plans. Calling me in one night after
an evening service, they informed me that I knew too much about them
and other church members. They believed the church needed a clean
break. Therefore, and later it was admitted my blindness also played
a big role in their final decision, I would not even be allowed to
try. As I went home that night, the deepest darkest blackness settled
over me and I felt as if I were empty inside. I had never really
experienced rejection before, in spite of my blindness, but I felt it
now. Never had I felt so blind, so helpless, so alone, and so
rejected in my life. My wife and I cried for days. We had poured out
our lives to these people and now we were being rejected. Our
ministry at this place was over.
It would take another 4 months before our home would finally
sell. those remaining weeks and month were torture. The board asked
me if I would be their interim pastor until they could hire one. Like
a dummy, I said yes. Why did I accept? I thought, if they heard me
preach and teach and saw me handling the every day workings of the
ministry during that time, they might, just maybe, they would change
their minds. I was wrong.
My wife needed a break. Her sister offered to fly her, along
with our 2 year old plus son, and now our brand new baby girl, down to
where she lived for a week. My wife didn't want to leave me but I
felt fine by this time so I encouraged her to go. She did and took
our little children with her.
During the week she was gone, I stayed up late, mostly playing
around with my ham radio equipment, talking to people all over the
world, and generally relaxing. Then one night, it began to creep up
on me. It was loneliness; extreme loneliness. There was almost an
oppressive feeling in the house. I missed my wife and my children. I
somehow almost felt lost in my grief. I'd failed. The thing I had
wanted more than anything in my life, I now was refused and refused
because I was blind. I had prayed on my knees for these people whom I
loved time and time again. I cared about them more than I cared about
anyone else on the planet. They were real people and I loved just
being around them all but the rejection was too great. The pain deep
down inside grew stronger. Rejection; rejection; rejection. I felt
the darkness outside closing in around me and sealing the house. It
was 2 o'clock in the morning and I was all alone.
"For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that
which I was afraid of is come unto me," (Job 3:25). Why wouldn't they
let me? "You should have been a woman," came the silent thoughts that
had no beginning or end. "You'd make a better woman." The fear was
real now and not just something I made up. I couldn't make it go away
because I didn't know how. It was dark and evil but I couldn't think
about it and I couldn't block it out no matter how much I tried. I
was isolated and all alone. I felt negatively magnetized by the words
I heard and felt. I fought against the pull, the words, the evil
truth. I would make a better woman. I was a woman.
I felt myself slowly floating down the short hall to our bedroom.
I found some of my wife's clothing. I removed my own and put her's
on. Yes, I put everything on. It even felt right. "This is who
you really are." Once I was sexually satiated, I fell into a restless
torment sleep. My life would now never be the same. If people,
Christian people, ever found out, I'd never get to pastor. The deep
emotional pain sank even deeper as I struggled to control it.
Another 25 years into the future, I was praying with a man in his
office. I saw the little boy who discovered his naked mother as she
changed her clothing. I felt the confusion. I knew I shouldn't be
there. I shouldn't be seeing what I saw. Yet, I couldn't mentally
discern how I knew any of this as a little boy. The second I heard,
"See. You should have been a woman," my mind, as if it were a black
streak across a background of white, reached across almost 50 decades
of time and struck the memory dead center that possessed those
horrible feelings that felt like self betrayal. There was a mental
explosion of awareness. "An Enemy hath done this." Light!
"24 Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of
heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
25 But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the
wheat, and went his way.
26 But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then
appeared the tares also.
27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir,
didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it
28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this," (Matthew 13:24-28).
I saw, and felt, the connection. I had been ambushed by a lying
spirit. He kept the lie secret for 50 years. He was in no hurry. He
was patient. He started with a little boy who couldn't discern the
truth. Diabolical. Hideous. Malevolent. Wicked. Evil. Satanic.
Those who insist upon limiting God by how they think He should
heal, renew one's mind, answer their prayers, or raise them from the
dead need to get a new life in Christ.
In case you are curious, I am going to answer some questions
that most of you are pondering as you read this testimony.
Q1. Did you ask the Lord to forgive what you had done?
Answer 1. What do you think?
Q2. Then why couldn't you just accept God's forgiveness?
Answer 2. I did.
Q3. So why did it keep bothering you?
Answer 3. Simple. I still believed a hideously perpetrated lie
about myself which the Enemy implanted in my unsuspecting mind.
Q4. Well, if God had forgiven you, and this lie you claim was
implanted into your childhood mind when you were under a year old, and
you later came to know Christ, don't you believe it was all settled
for you at the Cross?
Answer 4. Yes, I do believe it was all paid for at the Cross.
Q5. Then why were you so guilt ridden all those years?
Answer 5. See Answer #3.
Q6. So, then you really do not believe it was all settled at the
Cross, Otherwise, you would have received God's forgiveness and this
would have never bothered you again.
Answer 6. If you choose to think the opposite of what I say I
believe, I cannot change your reasoning. If you think I am lying, I
cannot change that either. I said, I believe the Bible teaches that
all my sins, passed, present, and future, were settled for me at the
Cross. I also fully understand the Scriptural functionality of 1 John
1:9 but I have written on these things extensively so I won't reinvent
the wheel for you in one testimonial. Believe what you wish.
Q7. Tell me, Brother. Why did God allow you to suffer 50 years
before He got around to setting you free?"
Answer 7. Because He is God and you are not. Furthermore, and
more specifically, I wasn't suffering, as you called it, all those
Q8. Don't you think a loving God would have done something for
you before you reached half your life?"
Answer 8. If you can explain why God's people die of cancer,
heart attacks, get run over by trucks, are murdered, are slowly dying
as they shrivel away in a nursing home when their Christian children
rarely bother come to see them, why babies are sometimes still born or
die as little ones, I'll answer your question. As far as I am
concerned, I refuse to play God. He is able to speak for Himself so
why don't you ask Him?
Q9. Don't you believe, Brother Scovell, that you suffered a
nervous break down, some acute manic depression melt down, a bipolar
incident, had a panic attack, an anxiety episode, or maybe even some
type of paranoid schizophrenic experience?
Answer 9. Maybe all the above. Who cares? I certainly don't.
Besides, as a Christian, where are you coming up with all these psych
terms anyhow? Did you forget who God is and what He promises He can
do for those who believes? "With God, nothing shall be impossible,"
(Luke 1:37), and "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all
things are possible to him that believes," (Mark 9:23). Isn't that
good enough for you or do you need a secular or scientific explanation
Q10. Well, don't you think this Jesus you see is a mystical
Jesus and not the real Jesus?
Answer 10. Who said anything about seeing Jesus at all? I
Q11. Well, don't you believe in such a thing?
Answer 11. I sure don't. If there is a mystical Jesus, as you
suggest, it wouldn't be the real Jesus, now would it? I only believe
in the real Jesus the Christ.
Q12. What makes you believe what you heard as a little boy, if
you heard anything at all, was Satan?
Answer 12. Well, one thing I know. It was certainly not the
real Jesus talking to me. Maybe that's the mystical jesus to which
you were referring. In that case, I guess I do believe in a mystical,
or false, jesus after all.
Q13. Well, if that was a demonic lie you heard as a child, why
wouldn't the Cross of Christ have erased it?
Answer 13. It is called "the free will of man."
Q14. But wouldn't you have been considered deceived at that
Answer 14. Yes, I surely was deceived at that time but I am not
now. I have learned the truth and it has set me free. I think that's
in the bible somewhere. I'm pretty sure, in fact, Jesus Himself said
it. I could be wrong.
Q15. Wouldn't the Lord have taken this into account, your being
deceived, that is?
Answer 15. He did. On the Cross. Remember?
Q16. But haven't we as Christians been set free from demonic
Answer 16. If that is true, why are we told to "resist the
devil?" (See James 4:7). Why are we cautioned to be careful in order
that Satan not gain an advantage over us and that we are aware of His
devices? (See 2 Corinthians 2:11). Why does the Bible carefully
instruct those of us who are Christians "not to give place to the
devil?" (See Ephesians 4:27). Don't these Biblical warnings mean it
is possible for a Christian to have let his guard down, or to become
unaware of Satan's devices, and isn't it obvious, therefore, since we
are warned not to give place to the devil, that we must be able, as
Christians, to do exactly that?
Q17. Don't you feel that you might be involved in some cultic
eastern religion, meditation, self hypnosis, or some form of
visualization or guided imagery?
Answer #17. No.
Q18. Do you have any way of confirming this literally happened?
Answer 18. Yes. I was set free of the guilt and debilitating
Q19. If this truly happened, why did Satan single you out?
Answer 19. He didn't. "He walks around like a roaring lion,
seeking whom he may devour, (First Peter 5:8). So he isn't picky and
is interested in everybody. You, too.
Q20. Well, Brother Scovell, don't you believe that if we leave
Satan alone, he will leave us alone?
Answer 20. There is absolutely no Scriptural evidence that
statement is true.
End Of Document
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