Afraid Of Heaven

                               By Phil Scovell

          I was  11 when my  dad died.  If  I heard it  once, I heard  it a
     thousand times; "Well,  Phil, I'm sure  sorry about  your dad but  the
     Lord took  him home and  he is in  a far better  place now."   I tried
     smiling my replies but sometime tears came instead.  I couldn't  blame
     these Christian  friends for saying what  they did because  it was all
     they  knew to  say.   They branded  me, unfortunately,  with  pain and
     sorrow  for  literally decades  with  their well  meaning  attempts at
     comforting remarks.

          Recently  I was talking with  my friend, George  Roberts.  We had
     experienced many  prayer sessions  together and in  fact, he  had been
     healed in dozens  of places.  He  said, "Sometimes when I  think about
     dying and going to Heaven, I'm afraid.  Fear just seems to come up for
     no reason."

          I told  this brother  in the  Lord that I  could understand  that
     perfectly.   Take  my situation  for  example.   People, well  meaning
     people,  tried their  best  to  encourage a  little  11  year old  boy
     concerning his father's sudden death.  With a  little mental help, and
     it wouldn't take much, I could have thought the following.

          "The Lord took my dad home.  Why would He, of all people, take my
     dad  away from me.   Doesn't  he know  I'm sad?   Doesn't He  know I'm
     afraid?  Doesn't He know I'm scared.  Doesn't the Lord  know my mother
     is hurting and crying and upset?   Why would He do that to my  mother.
     She never hurt anybody.   I want my  dad back right  now.  You mean  I
     have to go to Heaven to ever see my dad again?  So why don't I just go
     right now.  Maybe I could run out into the busy street  and get hit by
     a car so I could be with my dad again."

          The  truth is,  these were likely  many of  my thoughts  and from
     praying with many  others who have lost  a parent when they  were very
     young, similar thoughts  of fear and anger and even guilt filled their
     little minds, too.  In my friend's case, here's what happened.

          As we were  talking one evening, he mentioned  about being afraid
     to go to  Heaven yet he  knew he was  born again and  wanted to go  to
     Heaven.   He confessed his  spiritual and theological  confusion about
     this feeling of fear.   Using myself as an example, I  explained to my
     friend how easily it  could have happened that a lie  was implanted in
     my  thinking as  in, "You have  to die  to go  to Heaven but  death is
     scary," or, "Don't  you want to go  to be with  your daddy?  You  know
     where the knives are.  Use one of those," or, "You don't want to go to
     Heaven because death is horrible and  that's the only way you'll  ever
     get  there."    Now, I  hear  someone  saying that  no  such  thing is
     possible.   Then I  challenge you to  come and  sit with me  in prayer
     sessions  and hear it  for yourself.   Yes, such lies do,  and can, be
     implanted   in  the  unsuspecting  minds  of  children  during  tragic
     experiences which the  little minds cannot comprehend.   From where do
     the lies come?  You get one guess and I'll give you a  hint.  It isn't

          As  we talked,  my friend  said, "Hey, I'm  getting healed  as we
     talk.  A memory  about this very thing  just came up as  you explained
     your situation to me."

          "What is it?" I asked.

          He said, "Well, I  was about 5 or 6 years old  and playing in our
     front yard.   My mother came to the  screen door, opened it,  and told
     me, with  tears rolling  down her  face, that  grandpa had  just died.
     Then she closed the door and walked away crying."

          "What did you feel?" I asked.

          "Confused,"  he said  right away.   "I  could not  understand how
     people could be so sad if Heaven was such a wonderful place."

          I noted the  reversed logic of his  statement and knew it  was no
     childhood misconception.   "Lord  Jesus," I  said, "would you  explain
     this memory to George and let him see what you see?"

          The man began laughing.

          "What is so funny?" I asked.

          "I see a dark figure standing next to my mother.  Not quite human
     but more of a shadowy looking thing.  I can't tell if it has something
     to do with me or if it was associated with my mother," he concluded.

          "It makes little difference," I  said, "because we don't want him
     around.  Do we?"

          "No, I sure don't," he said with finality.

          "Then, let's get rid of him," I suggested.

          My friend started laughing again.

          "What's so funny now?" I wanted to know.

          "The demon is shaking.  He  is trembling all over and I can  tell
     he wants to leave but he can't yet.  It's like he is stuck in place."

          We prayed  a short prayer  together, turning  the unclean  spirit
     over to the True Lord Jesus Christ, and my friend then said, "Well, he
     is still  shaking but he is walking down the front steps of the house,
     down the front sidewalk, opening the front gate, closing the gate, and
     now he is  walking down the sidewalk along  the street."  A  couple of
     silent moments passed and my friend said, "Well, he's gone now."

          My friend also then told me that as we prayed together,  he could
     hear the demon saying, "No, no, no," over and over.  I explained to my
     friend that  the truth  is, demons  are afraid  of us  because of  the
     authority  in Christ we  have.  Most Christians  normally feel and act
     just the opposite.   That is, we are afraid of the  demon but the real
     truth  is how  much they truly  are afraid  of Christians.   I further
     explained  that the  Lord was  keeping  this demon  in  place and  not
     allowing him to  leave on  his own  until we commanded  him to  leave.
     That's why the  demon was shaking and  he was shaking from  the second
     the Lord revealed to my friend why the demon was  there, which was, to
     implant fear and confusion concerning Heaven in a little boy's mind.

          Where are  you today in your relationship with  the Lord?  Do you
     walk in His  authority, power, and dominion He has  over the darkness?
     If  you are still  walking in  fear, call me  and let Jesus  begin His
     healing work in you.

     Safe Place Fellowship
     Phil Scovell
     Denver, Colorado  USA

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