Demonic Feelings

                                By Phil Scovell

               Holidays  often  bring  out  the  worst,  or  the  best,  in
          families.  Some families cannot get along all year  long but fire
          up Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter or the fourth of July, and
          everybody  pulls together  and enjoys  themselves  and goes  home
          saying, "Why can't we get along like this the rest of  the time?"

               Then there's my  family.  We seem to get along, for the most
          part, all year long, but bring on a major holiday when the family
          all  tries  to  get together  for  a  good  time, and  the  worst
          sometimes explodes;  belching hot steam, ash, and lava like Mount

               I was not raised by dysfunctional parents.  We  did not have
          a dysfunctional family.  Therefore, my children did not come from
          a dysfunctional  background and  quite frankly,  we are a  pretty
          normal American middle income  family.  Well, most of the time we
          are normal, I mean.  somehow,  and for some reason, holidays have
          been  wrecked one way  or another on occasion  by somebody in the
          family.  Most of the time, I can look back on those times now and
          laugh.   Well, if not  laugh, at least  thank God that particular
          one was over.  Then there  are other times, when approaching  any
          given holiday, I wonder, "What's going to happen this time."

               A  recent Easter turned into be  another disaster.  I saw it
          coming but frankly,  there wasn't much I could think to do to try
          and change anything about it.  For everyone involved, however, it
          stirred up old memories of old holiday family get togethers which
          went bad and created a ton of hurt feelings.  The Enemy knows all
          about this sort of thing, of course.  After all, who do you think
          is  behind  all  this   family  conflict  in  the   first  place.
          Therefore, I knew from passed experience, that the days following
          Easter  would create  more  outpouring  of  even  more  emotional
          woundedness by everyone involved.

               A couple of  days following Resurrection Day, I  took my two
          four  year  old  grandsons  outside  with  their  tricycles.   My
          youngest son built a house on the back of my property so he has a
          110 foot concrete driveway  back to his house.   The little  boys
          love riding and racing  and playing on the long driveway.   As to
          their  grandfather?  Well,  he sits  in a  lawn chair  behind the
          privacy fence protected from the slowly westward moving sun so he
          doesn't sunburn his bald spot.   Excuse me, I mean thin spot.   I
          hate hats.   So I am, therefore, able to get in a couple of hours
          of think time.  Some people who haven't learned how to  pray with
          just  their thoughts  would  think  I was  just  day dreaming  or
          meditating or napping.  I am not.  Well, I did drift off to sleep
          once for a minute or two.  I learn a great deal  just by thinking
          my prayers to God and exchanging my thoughts for his.

               On  this particular occasion,  I was still  stirred up about
          the  mess we had at Easter.  Some  very ugly things had been said
          and although they hurt, they were not debilitating or emotionally
          crippling to me.   My wife  was very upset as  well and her  pain
          made me consider even more how it had all happened, and more than
          that, how things could be solved.

               As I sat and listened to my grandsons roaring back and forth
          on the pavement a  foot away from where I sat on  the edge of the
          long driveway,  I asked  the Lord  this question.   What are  the
          major areas still left in my life that need healing?"  He quickly
          identified three  areas.   My  blindness came  first.   I had  to
          admit,  that I  still was  finding areas  in that  category which
          needed  healing so  I would  be  free from  things surfacing  and
          causing me  pain and emotional  discomfort.  Money,  or finances,
          was the second  area the Lord brought to my mind.  The third area
          I prefer to leave for discussion at  a later time.  After praying
          and  identifying these three areas, I  decided now was as good as
          any to  begin processing  through until peace  came to  all these

               Since  blindness  jumped  to my  thoughts  first,  I started
          there.   As I  prayed, never  saying a  word out  loud, but  just
          allowing my thoughts  to flow freely and do the talking for me to
          God, I felt anger  rise instantly to my conscious  mind.  "Anger?
          Where did that come from?" Then I remembered.  We were flat broke
          and some bills  were coming due for  which I had no  money for at
          all.   I hate money because of  this and largely due  to being in
          this same spot many times over  my life.  So, you say, what  does
          money have to do with  your blindness?  Simple.  If  I could see,
          even at 52 years of age, I could run right out and get any job at
          any fast food place.  Even if it were part time, that would help,
          and my wife wouldn't feel she had to work so much overtime on her
          job to  help make ends meet.  So, the anger did have a source and
          I was, in fact, on the right trail.

               Focusing   more  on  my  anger  about  being  broke  and  my
          blindness,  I asked  the Lord,  "What's behind  the anger?"   Put
          another way, "What is the anger  really trying to hide?"  I  have
          learned  in the  last two  years  in my  new walk  with  the Lord
          through intercessory prayer,  that anger is never the  cause.  It
          covers  the authentic  emotion so I  prayed to go  deeper into my
          emotions and thoughts by asking the Lord, "What's under the anger
          I feel right now?"  I wasn't at all expecting what happened next.

               Hate flared in my mind and I felt fear.  "Hate?"  I thought.
          "Hatred for my blindness  maybe?"  I reasoned for  a split second
          that such  was possible,  of course, but  something told  me that
          wasn't it.   Letting the hate intensify, I asked  the Lord, "What
          do I hate?"   The answer I heard from the Holy Spirit nearly blew
          me off my chair.


               "Wait just a minute," I said  in my thoughts.  "How could  I
          hate God?"   You see, if you  have read any of  my other personal
          testimonies of  healing, you  would know that  when I  went blind
          when I was just  11 years old, it was  at that period of time  in
          the hospital  bed  week after  week  that lies  were  demonically
          implanted into  my tender  heart  which said,  "You'll never  see
          again.   It is  your fault  that you  are going  blind.  You  let
          others down.    It  is God's fault  because He let you  go blind.
          God doesn't really love you."  There was likely more, but  that's
          enough for now.

               When the hatred for God rose  in my thoughts and emotions, I
          immediately ran back in my mind to the  hospital memory where the
          lies were implanted into my  subconscious thoughts.  "No, I said.
          "I have been healed.  Jesus said  I was healed at that place.  He
          even said, we are leaving and  never coming back to this  place."
          So during my prayer time, I simply said, "No, I am not going back
          because  there  is  no  pain,  no  lie,  and  no  woundedness  or
          discomfort; there  is nothing but  peace now in that  memory."  I
          prayed and simply  asked the Lord, if there  were other places of
          woundedness  relating to  my blindness  which  were causing  this
          hatred for  God to rise  in my thoughts.   Bang.   Three memories
          sprang to mind.  I checked each one but nothing immediately stood
          out.  Then it hit me.

               "Wait a  minute," I said.  "I don't  hate God and never have
          except when I  was believing a lie  spoken into my thoughts  by a
          demon."  So  I said, "Lord, is there a demonic presence in this?"
          Bang.  I suddenly realized what I was feeling was the feelings of
          hatred for God coming from a deceiving spirit.   I almost laughed
          out loud.  You see, now  I knew I was going to get  the answers I
          sought because  the demon would lead me to  the root cause of the

               "Lord," I quickly prayed, "show  me where and why this demon
          thinks he has a right to put his feelings of hatred for you on my
          thoughts and  feelings."  Bang.   It was over;  gone; eliminated;
          ousted; vaporized.   I was  disappointed that the demon  was gone
          because I knew he was the key to the hatred.  Later, as I thought
          about how quickly the demon left  the second I asked the Lord  to
          show me why the demon had a right to be in one of those memories,
          I realized why he left so instantaneously.  He had no right to be
          in those memories I was investigating for lies.  He was trying to
          deceive  me into  thinking  I  had hatred  for  God by  literally
          putting his  own evil feelings upon  mine in order to  deceive me
          into thinking those were my feelings.  The  split second I turned
          to the Lord to show me the truth about the hatred,  the deceiving
          spirit fled.   "Submit  yourselves therefore  to God. Resist  the
          devil, and he will flee from you, (James 4:7).

               I realize many today do not accept that demons can influence
          our  thoughts and  feelings and  I  won't try  and convince  them
          otherwise.   I offer this  testimony, however, for those  who may
          now recognize that not  everything they hear and feel is of their
          own making.

               Here is a  prayer I pray  every night before  going to  bed.
          Perhaps you, too, will find it  helpful.  Part of this prayer  is
          taken from some prayers that another Christian  counselor uses in
          his ministry.   This is a  shortened version of  his but is  more
          than adequate for daily application.

               "Dear  Heavenly Father, I  come to you  in the name  of your
          only  begotten Son;  the  True  Lord Jesus  Christ.   If  I  have
          listened to any lies  of Satan or his  demons today and  believed
          them as though  they were true, if  I have repeated any  of their
          words as though they were my  words, if I have felt any  of their
          feelings as  though they were my feelings,  and if I have thought
          any  of their thoughts as though they were my thoughts, I confess
          this to you as sin  and I ask you to forgive me.  I take back all
          the ground I have  given them this day and I give  it back to you
          for your honor and  glory.  I pray this in the name and the power
          and the authority of the True Lord Jesus Christ."

          Safe Place Fellowship
          Phil Scovell
          Denver, Colorado - Mountain Time Zone
          Web:  WWW.SafePlaceFellowship.COM
          Web:  WWW.RedWhiteAndBlue.ORG

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