Deep Purple Mind Renewal

                               By Phil Scovell

          A  childhood memory  bothered me.   It  didn't hurt  emotionally,
     well, not  exactly, that  is, it wasn't  a traumatic  experience.   It
     contained,  on the  other  hand, spiritual  discomfort that  felt like
     pain, at least that's how it felt if I were to describe it, and I just
     did.  Let me detail this memory so  you understand what I am trying to
     tell about.

          We were in  Danny's convertible, parked in the  driveway, and the
     top was up.  Danny and  another teenage friend from high school,  were
     in the backseat together, on their knees, trying to fix something near
     the back window of the  car.  I can't remember what  they were working
     on any longer  but with Danny's car,  something was always in  need of

          Dan was always careful  how he talked around the younger kids but
     his friend wasn't so accommodating.  He swore, in other words,  like a
     drunken sailor.  He was, of course, just trying to be funny and we all
     laughed at his continual stream of expletives deleted.  It made me, as
     a Christian,  feel uncomfortable.   Oh, sure, I  heard plenty of  "bad
     language,"  used  by other  kids,  and  adults, but  this  was to  the
     extreme.  In  fact, he was using sexual terminology that I wasn't even
     sure I understood.   Yet, everyone was  laughing,  my friend,  Danny's
     little  brother that is, and  Dan himself.   I didn't want  to be left
     out, you see, so I laughed, too.  The cussing swearing teenage boy who
     was helping  Danny, got  what he  wanted, that is,  he made  everybody
     laugh, so he received  the attention he desired and I  suppose it made
     him feel important, too.  What I should have done is gotten out of the
     car.  I wanted acceptance, on the other hand, and plus, it wasn't just
     every day that little  8 and 9 year old boys were  allowed to hang out
     with the big teenage boys.

          As I  began saying, this  memory returned  many many times  to my
     mind over the years but  I never knew why.  Not until  recently.  When
     the memory surfaced this time, I decided to find out why.

          Focusing on  the event,  I examined every  aspect of  the memory.
     There was not much there.  I've already describe to you what was there
     and  as  I focused  on the  memory,  I simply  could not  see  or hear
     anything other  than  what I  have  already described.   Yet,  I  felt
     uncomfortable.  Something was wrong.  So  I asked the Lord to show  me
     why this memory felt uncomfortable and what was wrong.

          "How did you feel," the Holy Spirit prompted.

          "Bad," I replied, "and like I was doing something wrong."

          "It wasn't your fault," He  replied in my thoughts, "and  you did
     nothing wrong.  Besides, I was there and heard and saw everything."

          "Then why does something feel wrong?" I queried.

          "Because something  was wrong," the  Holy Spirit answered.   "The
     teenage boy  was talking  in a  very unholy  way and  it bothered  you
     because  you are  a Christian.   Christians should  feel uncomfortable
     around such talk.   Plus, words have  meaning and effect upon  the one
     hearing the words.  I'm going to fix this memory for you."

          I  was curious  about all  this because  I never  once considered
     anything  specifically wrong  in this  memory.   Except, of  course, I
     shouldn't  have been  there.   Although the  Lord didn't  say so,  I'm
     pretty  sure the Enemy  was using this recollection  to try and accuse
     me, that is, to indicate that I, as a born again  Christian, passively
     complied  and was  a participant  and was  therefore guilty  because I
     didn't speak up.  Children, in those days, were taught not to speak up
     to those who were older.  So, I remained silent.  I wanted to  belong.
     There was, therefore, a  measure of guilt in this memory  and thus the
     memory returned time and again to  remind me, "You aren't a very  good
     testimony because you  laughed and didn't speak up  for Jesus."  Satan
     always  lies and he normally mixes  up some truth in  the lie as well.
     Ask Eve if you doubt what I said.

          Waiting to see what the Lord was going to do for me, I mean, what
     could you possibly do  with such a memory as  this one?  I figured  He
     would  just use words,  or a feeling,  to tell me, as  He already had,
     that it  wasn't my fault.  Besides, he made  it clear that He had been
     there the whole time so what more could He do.  I soon found out.

          As I watched the brief memory, the compartment of  the car filled
     up with an  inky substance.  In fact, the substance, although not like
     a smoke or foggy cloud, was more like some type of liquid, which was a
     deep  purplish  color.   It  filled  every  square inch  of  the enter
     compartment of the vehicle.  It was more like purple jello.  I was now
     standing on the  outside of the car  by this time, and  looking inside
     the windows at the  bodily shapes inside.  Odd, though,  I only viewed
     three persons  now inside  the car.   I was  outside looking in.   The
     purplish inky substance, as I  mentioned before, totally filled up the
     inside  of  the  car  but  was  opaque  enough  to  barely  allow  the
     discernment  of three  figures inside.   Blocked  out were  the filthy
     language being uttered and the vocalized laughter, which was 
     silenced.   "So?" someone  is saying.   "So, the memory  had spiritual
     morphed into an exact reproduction of the event but now I was standing
     outside the vehicle.  I could no longer hear the words or the laughter
     and I was no  longer involved by being inside and  feeling trapped and
     unable to get  out.  Plus, as  I attempted to  view the interior,  the
     purplish liquid type  substance not only fills the  compartment but as
     it  appears, the  words are  silenced and the  people inside  are only
     mentally identified and not truly seen.  Well, the Holy spirit said he
     would take care of it  for me and I guess He  has.  Praise God.   Now,
     whenever this memory returns, I see what  I just described and not the
     original event  because the  memory has  been renewed.   I  am on  the
     outside, no  longer trapped or guilty, I no  longer hear the words and
     feel the  laughter, I no longer feel as if I were a participant, and I
     see what Jesus sees.

     23  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 
     24   And that ye  put on the  new man, which  after God is  created in
     righteousness and true holiness," Ephesians 4:23-24).

                               End Of Document

     Safe Place Fellowship
     Phil Scovell
     Denver, Colorado - Mountain Time Zone
     Web:  WWW.SafePlaceFellowship.COM
     Web:  WWW.RedWhiteAndBlue.ORG

Go To HOME: SafePlaceFellowship.COM