Deep Purple Mind Renewal
By Phil Scovell
A childhood memory bothered me. It didn't hurt emotionally,
well, not exactly, that is, it wasn't a traumatic experience. It
contained, on the other hand, spiritual discomfort that felt like
pain, at least that's how it felt if I were to describe it, and I just
did. Let me detail this memory so you understand what I am trying to
We were in Danny's convertible, parked in the driveway, and the
top was up. Danny and another teenage friend from high school, were
in the backseat together, on their knees, trying to fix something near
the back window of the car. I can't remember what they were working
on any longer but with Danny's car, something was always in need of
Dan was always careful how he talked around the younger kids but
his friend wasn't so accommodating. He swore, in other words, like a
drunken sailor. He was, of course, just trying to be funny and we all
laughed at his continual stream of expletives deleted. It made me, as
a Christian, feel uncomfortable. Oh, sure, I heard plenty of "bad
language," used by other kids, and adults, but this was to the
extreme. In fact, he was using sexual terminology that I wasn't even
sure I understood. Yet, everyone was laughing, my friend, Danny's
little brother that is, and Dan himself. I didn't want to be left
out, you see, so I laughed, too. The cussing swearing teenage boy who
was helping Danny, got what he wanted, that is, he made everybody
laugh, so he received the attention he desired and I suppose it made
him feel important, too. What I should have done is gotten out of the
car. I wanted acceptance, on the other hand, and plus, it wasn't just
every day that little 8 and 9 year old boys were allowed to hang out
with the big teenage boys.
As I began saying, this memory returned many many times to my
mind over the years but I never knew why. Not until recently. When
the memory surfaced this time, I decided to find out why.
Focusing on the event, I examined every aspect of the memory.
There was not much there. I've already describe to you what was there
and as I focused on the memory, I simply could not see or hear
anything other than what I have already described. Yet, I felt
uncomfortable. Something was wrong. So I asked the Lord to show me
why this memory felt uncomfortable and what was wrong.
"How did you feel," the Holy Spirit prompted.
"Bad," I replied, "and like I was doing something wrong."
"It wasn't your fault," He replied in my thoughts, "and you did
nothing wrong. Besides, I was there and heard and saw everything."
"Then why does something feel wrong?" I queried.
"Because something was wrong," the Holy Spirit answered. "The
teenage boy was talking in a very unholy way and it bothered you
because you are a Christian. Christians should feel uncomfortable
around such talk. Plus, words have meaning and effect upon the one
hearing the words. I'm going to fix this memory for you."
I was curious about all this because I never once considered
anything specifically wrong in this memory. Except, of course, I
shouldn't have been there. Although the Lord didn't say so, I'm
pretty sure the Enemy was using this recollection to try and accuse
me, that is, to indicate that I, as a born again Christian, passively
complied and was a participant and was therefore guilty because I
didn't speak up. Children, in those days, were taught not to speak up
to those who were older. So, I remained silent. I wanted to belong.
There was, therefore, a measure of guilt in this memory and thus the
memory returned time and again to remind me, "You aren't a very good
testimony because you laughed and didn't speak up for Jesus." Satan
always lies and he normally mixes up some truth in the lie as well.
Ask Eve if you doubt what I said.
Waiting to see what the Lord was going to do for me, I mean, what
could you possibly do with such a memory as this one? I figured He
would just use words, or a feeling, to tell me, as He already had,
that it wasn't my fault. Besides, he made it clear that He had been
there the whole time so what more could He do. I soon found out.
As I watched the brief memory, the compartment of the car filled
up with an inky substance. In fact, the substance, although not like
a smoke or foggy cloud, was more like some type of liquid, which was a
deep purplish color. It filled every square inch of the enter
compartment of the vehicle. It was more like purple jello. I was now
standing on the outside of the car by this time, and looking inside
the windows at the bodily shapes inside. Odd, though, I only viewed
three persons now inside the car. I was outside looking in. The
purplish inky substance, as I mentioned before, totally filled up the
inside of the car but was opaque enough to barely allow the
discernment of three figures inside. Blocked out were the filthy
language being uttered and the vocalized laughter, which was
silenced. "So?" someone is saying. "So, the memory had spiritual
morphed into an exact reproduction of the event but now I was standing
outside the vehicle. I could no longer hear the words or the laughter
and I was no longer involved by being inside and feeling trapped and
unable to get out. Plus, as I attempted to view the interior, the
purplish liquid type substance not only fills the compartment but as
it appears, the words are silenced and the people inside are only
mentally identified and not truly seen. Well, the Holy spirit said he
would take care of it for me and I guess He has. Praise God. Now,
whenever this memory returns, I see what I just described and not the
original event because the memory has been renewed. I am on the
outside, no longer trapped or guilty, I no longer hear the words and
feel the laughter, I no longer feel as if I were a participant, and I
see what Jesus sees.
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in
righteousness and true holiness," Ephesians 4:23-24).
End Of Document
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