Note. this is part of my book found elsewhere on this site. The testimony of healing, however, fits well in this section.
CHAPTER 11 MY DAUGHTER IS GONE The first time our daughter ran away, she was only 13 years of age. Fortunately we found her within about four hours but those four hours were emotionally like nothing my wife and I have ever experienced. Furthermore, the pain of this event was firmly and sharply and painfully embedded in my memory. As the years passed, my daughter ran away two more times. She had a child when she was 16 years old. Later, when she did marry, she had a second child. Due to her life style of cigarette and dope smoking, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, living immorally, having an abortion, and criminal activities, which eventually resulted in her felony arrest, my wife and I obtain guardianship of her oldest son. The youngest son was still under the custody of his real father. Over the years, and more than once, I had to ask her to leave our home, no longer to live with us, because light and darkness simply do not dwell together without conflict. When my daughter was 24 years of age, she began living immorally and moving in with different friends and using more and more drugs. She and her husband separated and her life style grew worse and she drifted further away from the Lord and her family. One summer, on the 4th of July, she told us that she would be at our home to spend that evening with her boys. She did not call or show up that night. We tried calling her at the last two telephone numbers we had for her but no one new where our daughter was. I became angry. After you have been lied to by the same person for many years, you would think that you would become acclimated to it and invulnerable to any emotional effects related to it. When, however, it comes to the well being of your own flesh and blood, that is, our own grandchildren, emotions easily surface. In this case, and for me, it was anger. My anger was strong enough to keep me awake that night till well after midnight. At first I considered my anger to be perfectly natural and justified, under the circumstances, and perhaps I was correct. After all, my grandchildren were once again being cheated out of not having their mother with them for the night. As their grandfather, I was simply right down mad they were being left out again. As my mind focused on many other such similar things my daughter had done over the years, old emotions began to surface. I easily remembered the most painful event; the first time she ran away. Let me describe that night briefly so you will have a better understanding of what I am about to explain. One evening, I was working in my office, a room on the side of our home, when I heard a car door and the vehicle pull away. I immediately felt in my spirit that something was wrong. I left my office and went through the house calling for my kids. My two boys came but Gretchen was no where to be found. My boys and I began searching her room and soon found her note. "Dad and Mom, I am leaving because I want to live with others. Don't worry. I will be fine. The woman I am living with doesn't even smoke. Signed: Gretchen." After finding her hand written note telling us she had run away, we began calling all of her friends. During the times we waited for something to happen and calls to be returned, I would go out to the front yard and sit on a cement flower box and pray that my daughter would come back. Yes, I cried. Yes, I was angry. Yes, I was horribly afraid. I kept straining my ears to hear a car driving up into our gravel driveway or the footsteps of my daughter walking across the gravel coming home but they never came. All sorts of dreadful thoughts flooded my mind, as one might imagine. "Would she be hurt or killed? Would she ever come back; would we ever hear from her again? What if she were kidnapped? What if she were raped?" Under the circumstances, our concerns were certainly not abnormal. When we found her, she and her girl friend had run away together and were staying with two 28 year old men. One of them had just been released from prison. As I said, this was one of the most painful events I ever had with our daughter but it would be far from the last. On the night of the 4th of July, as I mentioned, this memory event came to mind. Gretchen not being home that night triggered the earlier memory and I recall saying to myself, "I will never forget that night as long as I live." Why? Because I experienced such deep pain and sorrow and such real genuine fear for my daughter's safety. After all, I was her father and I was reacting naturally and normally as any father might. Suddenly, I realized this would be a good opportunity for some healing. Why? Because the pain of that initial event was still very real and very deep. I prayed silently and said, "Lord, what is the source of this pain in this event?" The Lord began showing me how, as I sat in the front yard waiting for my 13 year old daughter to return, fear began to take over and I was bombarded with multiple concepts of fear. Many of those ideas I have already mentioned. I could clearly see a sad father out in that front yard, sitting on the edge of the cement flower box, waiting for his lost run away daughter. I felt the sadness and the fear and worry and the total helplessness building in the man I saw in that memory. I asked the Lord to point out all the lies the were going into my thoughts at that time and He did. Seizing them all, I gave them to the Lord. I still felt deep pain and sorrow in the event however. I asked the Lord, "Lord Jesus, did I miss something? Was there something demonic in that event?" I didn't see anything as I prayed but the second I asked this question of the Lord, a demonic form appeared standing near me in the memory. He was, at that moment, about four feet tall. He was dark and had the shape, for the most part, of a human with a head, arms, and legs. Otherwise, I saw no other physical details. As the Lord Jesus continued pulling out the lies and naming them for me so I would know what they were, fear, doubt, worry, concern, helplessness, loss, loneliness, death, physical harm and so on, the demon grew smaller in size. In fact, he began to shrink rapidly. When it seemed the Lord was done pulling the lies from my thinking at that time of the memory, the demon had changed form. He was now about the size of your little finger and he looked exactly like a large black ant. He was standing on the ground in front of me and as I watched, he slowly turned and began walking away from me and down the street. He did not crawl along the ground as an ant but was standing upright and walking on his back legs. He would stop occasionally and look back. I noticed he had a look on his face that was trying to express something but at first I couldn't determine its meaning. He stopped and turned back a couple of times in this same manner and then I recognized the look on his face. He was saying, "Do I really have to go?" I almost laughed out loud. I did speak out loud when I addressed him. "Yes, I" said, "you have to go." He turned and kept walking away, growing smaller and smaller in the distance, as he walked down the street and he never looked back again. As he walked away with his back to me, I added, "And don't you ever come back either, in the name of the True Lord Jesus Christ." This entire time in prayer lasted about one minute from beginning to end. When the memory faded in my thoughts, I noticed my anger was ebbing away as well. I focused on the memory once again and felt around emotionally to see if there was any more pain but I couldn't find any of the pain still in the memory. Now, several days later, the memory, even when I go to it, doesn't hurt and there is no deep pain or sorrow. In fact, what I really feel now, when I focus on the memory, is peace and freedom. THE MEMORY EVENT EXPLAINED I want to point out several different aspects of this true story. 1. It should be clearly seen in this true story that events, over which we may have no control, allow demons to gain a foothold in a Christian's life. I had done nothing wrong nor had I committed any sin. Yet, due to the fear generated by the circumstances, that is, the unknown of my daughter's whereabouts, I unknowingly and innocently gave place to the devil in my thoughts and he exploited the opportunity by amplifying my natural fears and concerns. 2. This story demonstrates the healing power of God. My daughter was 24 years of age at the time I focused on the 11 year old memory. Yet, I even said to myself, "I will never forget how I felt that night she ran away for the first time." Not only could I never forget it but the truth was, my sorrow and fear was buried deep. It was so deep, I never knew it was there. Why? I had been deceived by the devil in agreeing with his words instead of God's. Thus, I had given the devil a legal right to continue trying to operate in my life. As I was reliving, as it were, that memory, I asked the Lord Jesus to show me His truth about this event in my life. He first told me that He was there with me as I sat on the cement flower box waiting for my daughter so I wasn't alone even if I felt otherwise. I asked Him to show me more about why I hurt so much and so deeply. He then revealed a number of demonic lies implanted in my mind. I asked the Lord Jesus to identify those lies and to speak His truth to me about them. That was when He began removing them one by one. It literally appeared to me as if the Lord were pulling foot long sharp thorns out of my back as I sat patiently waiting. He did it so rapidly, I cannot even identify everything He removed from me that night but I felt the relief when He was done. 3. Anger masked the lies in this memory. The anger kept me from seeing the true nature of the memory itself. Once I asked the Lord to take me beyond the anger and to the true nature of the pain, the anger no longer was able to hide my deepest of feelings. In conducting intercessory prayer sessions with others, I almost always find anger masking the pain. Usually, just below the anger, is fear, or some other emotion, and below the fear is the pain. As long as the anger and fear are still there, the devil has license to continue manipulating our emotions through tossing more fiery darts of a similar nature into our thoughts and feelings. 4. What I have just described is what the Bible calls The renewing of the mind. This is clearly identified in Romans 12:1- 2, Ephesians 4:22-27 and James 1:21. Also compare Philippians 3:7-15. I was talking with a Christian lady one day who has many painful memories in her past. She was telling me that she had gone through a year and a half of conventional psychological therapy. The bulk of secular therapy today is focused upon going forward. That is, first identify the problem, accept it for what it is, and then walk away from it; never looking back. This sounds good and works well for many people to a certain degree. It is not a Biblical principle, however, but is the best man can do. The unfortunate aspect of this philosophy is that many Christians believe it is somehow Scriptural and thus, God ordained. God heals our woundedness by the Biblical principle of renewing the mind. This lady told me that she did not need to go backwards in her life so she needed no intercessory prayer. Her husband, in her opinion, on the other hand, needed it desperately and if the Lord would fix her husband, she would be happy. May I point out that this woman's victory now can only be accomplished if her husband submits to her way of thinking concerning the marital relationship? What if he doesn't? Does that mean she will still be in bondage? If she holds fast to the idea that God has finished His work in her life and her mind needs no renewing, then she is, in fact, in bondage. Bondage isn't the will of God for anyone. My point is this. If you believe all was settled at the cross for you, then you cannot obey the command of the Lord to renew your mind. Yes, all was finished upon the cross by the Lord Jesus salvitically but to complete our fellowship with Him throughout the rest of our life, there must be the renewing of the mind in areas of woundedness. If this is not done, we allow the devil to function behind the scenes; corrupting our relationship with the Lord through deceitfulness. 5. A deep pain I had been literally carrying inside of me for 11 years was triggered by a current event in my life. It is true that my daughter was in both events, that is, in the one 11 years ago, and again on July the 4th but this is not always the case. Once the devil has a legal right, spiritually speaking, to throw his fiery darts, events need not be identical or even similar. This same anger I experienced could have been triggered by some other current event in my life. The woundedness is then tapped and out comes the hurt and the pain and the subsequent reaction to that pain is acted out in our emotions and feelings. 6. I was healed. I know many Christians attempt to identify this type of prayer as new age mind renewal, hypnotic suggestiveness, visual manipulation, creative meditation, self hypnosis, and even demon hunting, but the truth is, I was healed by the True Lord Jesus Christ. As Jesus said Himself, if Satan would cast out himself, he would be dividing himself from his own kingdom. See Matthew 12:22-32. I did not create or fabricate this memory, I was just remembering it due to the pain embedded in the past event. I wasn't meditating or trying to generate an supernatural aura of some kind; I was just praying and allowing the Lord Jesus to minister to me. Satan was defeated, I was set free from the pain, and another door was slammed on demonic access to my life. I new I was healed for three reasons. First, the pain of the memory no longer hurt. Second, I can return to the same memory at any time and the pain is still gone. Third, my anger began to subside that I had toward my daughter. Does that sound like the devil or God? 7. Something I haven't mentioned related to this true story is what I did once the Lord Jesus healed me. Now realizing that I had in fact given place to the devil and allowed his thoughts and feelings to become mine, I confessed this to the Lord as sin. Why? Because I recognize I had given Satan ground upon which to gain a foothold in my life. Now that I was healed and saw the situation as the Lord saw it, I prayed and took back all the ground I had given the devil and gave it back to the Lord for His honor and glory. This closed off the demons ability to communicate further with me with his thoughts and feelings. 8. When the demonic figure seen in my memory shrank in size, it spiritually depicted his loss of authority in my life through that event. As he walked away, he was unable to verbally communicate with me. Why? Because he had no more access to my renewed mind in this area. I had been healed of all related to that one event. When I realized he was thinking, "Do I really have to go?" it was because I spiritually sensed in my spirit the Holy Spirit telling me this was what the demon was thinking. The demon could not communicate his thoughts directly to my thoughts any longer because he had no more legal right to do so. 9. Behavior modification and other psychological techniques would not have worked in this healing process. In fact, I had been, for many years, been confessing God's Word, praying for my daughter, being faithful in my walk with the Lord, and doing everything else a Christian should be doing. Yet, I still had given place to the devil in a time of weakness unknowingly. With this spiritual license to now function in my life, fear, doubt, loneliness, helplessness, and many other such things were easily tapped into by the demonic realm and exploited. My point is this. Even quoting God's Word in this situation would not make me feel any better. Why? I had given the devil a foothold in which he could operate. No, I had not turned my life over to Satan. No, I had no demon dwelling inside of me; he just had access to my thoughts and feelings because I had, unknowingly, given him place to function. Unless the Lord Jesus shows us these areas which need the renewing of our minds, we will still find ourselves attempting to deal with very painful past events in our lives. Comments. I realize many Christians do not believe in demonic influence once a person has been born again. They may believe demons have some access to our lives as Christians but only in the area of sin. As I pointed out, this had nothing to do with sin in my life. The event 11 years ago had nothing to do with me committing sin and even my anger this time was not unjust or unholy; it was the result of frustration and concern. The circumstances, and the strong raw emotions associated with the event, created an atmosphere in which I was spiritually sensitive and vulnerable. I did not realize I had let down my shield of faith which would have protected me from all the fiery darts of the devil. I was, in fact, too busy being afraid for my daughter's whereabouts and safety. When a demon, therefore, took advantage of this situation by tossing a few of his thoughts and feelings upon my thoughts and feelings, the seeds, or ideas, were planted and I reacted to them unawares. Over the years, the pain deepened and anger helped suppress the pain. It then took an act of God, if you please, to reach into my mind, expose the lies, and to heal my broken heart and to renew my deceived mind. In short, God used a current day experience for His honor and glory in order to heal an old wound that was effecting my relationship with him, and my daughter, all these years. If you are going to give anybody the credit, therefore, praise God and not the devil for this healing in my life. End Of Chapter THE DECEITFULNESS OF SIN By Phil Scovell Copyright (C) 2003 All rights Reserved Reproduction of the following is granted by the copyright holder, Phil Scovell, if such reproduction is done in the spirit in which it was given. It may not be reproduced and sold for financial gain without written permission of the copyright holder: Phil Scovell. Electronic formats may be distributed freely but this copyright notice must remain with each copy and the text cannot be altered in any way. For convenience, this copyright notification may be placed at the end of the document if reproduced electronically. CONTACT INFORMATION Phil Scovell 840 South Sheridan Boulevard Denver, Colorado 80226-8017 Web: WWW.RedWhiteAndBlue.ORG Web: WWW.SafePlaceFellowship.comGo To HOME