Note. this is part of my book found elsewhere on this site.
The testimony of healing, however, fits well in this section.
CHAPTER 11 MY DAUGHTER IS GONE
The first time our daughter ran away, she was only 13 years
of age. Fortunately we found her within about four hours but
those four hours were emotionally like nothing my wife and I have
ever experienced. Furthermore, the pain of this event was firmly
and sharply and painfully embedded in my memory.
As the years passed, my daughter ran away two more times.
She had a child when she was 16 years old. Later, when she did
marry, she had a second child. Due to her life style of
cigarette and dope smoking, drinking alcohol, taking drugs,
living immorally, having an abortion, and criminal activities,
which eventually resulted in her felony arrest, my wife and I
obtain guardianship of her oldest son. The youngest son was
still under the custody of his real father. Over the years, and
more than once, I had to ask her to leave our home, no longer to
live with us, because light and darkness simply do not dwell
together without conflict.
When my daughter was 24 years of age, she began living
immorally and moving in with different friends and using more and
more drugs. She and her husband separated and her life style
grew worse and she drifted further away from the Lord and her
family.
One summer, on the 4th of July, she told us that she would
be at our home to spend that evening with her boys. She did not
call or show up that night. We tried calling her at the last two
telephone numbers we had for her but no one new where our
daughter was. I became angry. After you have been lied to by
the same person for many years, you would think that you would
become acclimated to it and invulnerable to any emotional effects
related to it. When, however, it comes to the well being of your
own flesh and blood, that is, our own grandchildren, emotions
easily surface. In this case, and for me, it was anger.
My anger was strong enough to keep me awake that night till
well after midnight. At first I considered my anger to be
perfectly natural and justified, under the circumstances, and
perhaps I was correct. After all, my grandchildren were once
again being cheated out of not having their mother with them for
the night. As their grandfather, I was simply right down mad
they were being left out again.
As my mind focused on many other such similar things my
daughter had done over the years, old emotions began to surface.
I easily remembered the most painful event; the first time she
ran away. Let me describe that night briefly so you will have a
better understanding of what I am about to explain.
One evening, I was working in my office, a room on the side
of our home, when I heard a car door and the vehicle pull away.
I immediately felt in my spirit that something was wrong. I left
my office and went through the house calling for my kids. My two
boys came but Gretchen was no where to be found. My boys and I
began searching her room and soon found her note. "Dad and Mom,
I am leaving because I want to live with others. Don't worry. I
will be fine. The woman I am living with doesn't even smoke.
Signed: Gretchen." After finding her hand written note telling
us she had run away, we began calling all of her friends. During
the times we waited for something to happen and calls to be
returned, I would go out to the front yard and sit on a cement
flower box and pray that my daughter would come back. Yes, I
cried. Yes, I was angry. Yes, I was horribly afraid. I kept
straining my ears to hear a car driving up into our gravel
driveway or the footsteps of my daughter walking across the
gravel coming home but they never came. All sorts of dreadful
thoughts flooded my mind, as one might imagine. "Would she be
hurt or killed? Would she ever come back; would we ever hear
from her again? What if she were kidnapped? What if she were
raped?" Under the circumstances, our concerns were certainly not
abnormal. When we found her, she and her girl friend had run
away together and were staying with two 28 year old men. One of
them had just been released from prison. As I said, this was one
of the most painful events I ever had with our daughter but it
would be far from the last.
On the night of the 4th of July, as I mentioned, this memory
event came to mind. Gretchen not being home that night triggered
the earlier memory and I recall saying to myself, "I will never
forget that night as long as I live." Why? Because I
experienced such deep pain and sorrow and such real genuine fear
for my daughter's safety. After all, I was her father and I was
reacting naturally and normally as any father might.
Suddenly, I realized this would be a good opportunity for
some healing. Why? Because the pain of that initial event was
still very real and very deep. I prayed silently and said,
"Lord, what is the source of this pain in this event?" The Lord
began showing me how, as I sat in the front yard waiting for my
13 year old daughter to return, fear began to take over and I was
bombarded with multiple concepts of fear. Many of those ideas I
have already mentioned. I could clearly see a sad father out in
that front yard, sitting on the edge of the cement flower box,
waiting for his lost run away daughter. I felt the sadness and
the fear and worry and the total helplessness building in the man
I saw in that memory. I asked the Lord to point out all the lies
the were going into my thoughts at that time and He did. Seizing
them all, I gave them to the Lord. I still felt deep pain and
sorrow in the event however.
I asked the Lord, "Lord Jesus, did I miss something? Was
there something demonic in that event?" I didn't see anything as
I prayed but the second I asked this question of the Lord, a
demonic form appeared standing near me in the memory. He was, at
that moment, about four feet tall. He was dark and had the
shape, for the most part, of a human with a head, arms, and legs.
Otherwise, I saw no other physical details. As the Lord Jesus
continued pulling out the lies and naming them for me so I would
know what they were, fear, doubt, worry, concern, helplessness,
loss, loneliness, death, physical harm and so on, the demon grew
smaller in size. In fact, he began to shrink rapidly. When it
seemed the Lord was done pulling the lies from my thinking at
that time of the memory, the demon had changed form. He was now
about the size of your little finger and he looked exactly like a
large black ant. He was standing on the ground in front of me
and as I watched, he slowly turned and began walking away from me
and down the street. He did not crawl along the ground as an ant
but was standing upright and walking on his back legs. He would
stop occasionally and look back. I noticed he had a look on his
face that was trying to express something but at first I couldn't
determine its meaning. He stopped and turned back a couple of
times in this same manner and then I recognized the look on his
face. He was saying, "Do I really have to go?" I almost laughed
out loud. I did speak out loud when I addressed him. "Yes, I"
said, "you have to go." He turned and kept walking away, growing
smaller and smaller in the distance, as he walked down the street
and he never looked back again. As he walked away with his back
to me, I added, "And don't you ever come back either, in the name
of the True Lord Jesus Christ." This entire time in prayer
lasted about one minute from beginning to end.
When the memory faded in my thoughts, I noticed my anger was
ebbing away as well. I focused on the memory once again and felt
around emotionally to see if there was any more pain but I
couldn't find any of the pain still in the memory. Now, several
days later, the memory, even when I go to it, doesn't hurt and
there is no deep pain or sorrow. In fact, what I really feel
now, when I focus on the memory, is peace and freedom.
THE MEMORY EVENT EXPLAINED
I want to point out several different aspects of this true
story.
1. It should be clearly seen in this true story that
events, over which we may have no control, allow demons to gain a
foothold in a Christian's life. I had done nothing wrong nor had
I committed any sin. Yet, due to the fear generated by the
circumstances, that is, the unknown of my daughter's whereabouts,
I unknowingly and innocently gave place to the devil in my
thoughts and he exploited the opportunity by amplifying my
natural fears and concerns.
2. This story demonstrates the healing power of God. My
daughter was 24 years of age at the time I focused on the 11 year
old memory. Yet, I even said to myself, "I will never forget how
I felt that night she ran away for the first time." Not only
could I never forget it but the truth was, my sorrow and fear was
buried deep. It was so deep, I never knew it was there. Why? I
had been deceived by the devil in agreeing with his words instead
of God's. Thus, I had given the devil a legal right to continue
trying to operate in my life.
As I was reliving, as it were, that memory, I asked the Lord
Jesus to show me His truth about this event in my life. He first
told me that He was there with me as I sat on the cement flower
box waiting for my daughter so I wasn't alone even if I felt
otherwise. I asked Him to show me more about why I hurt so much
and so deeply. He then revealed a number of demonic lies
implanted in my mind. I asked the Lord Jesus to identify those
lies and to speak His truth to me about them. That was when He
began removing them one by one. It literally appeared to me as
if the Lord were pulling foot long sharp thorns out of my back as
I sat patiently waiting. He did it so rapidly, I cannot even
identify everything He removed from me that night but I felt the
relief when He was done.
3. Anger masked the lies in this memory. The anger kept me
from seeing the true nature of the memory itself. Once I asked
the Lord to take me beyond the anger and to the true nature of
the pain, the anger no longer was able to hide my deepest of
feelings. In conducting intercessory prayer sessions with
others, I almost always find anger masking the pain. Usually,
just below the anger, is fear, or some other emotion, and below
the fear is the pain. As long as the anger and fear are still
there, the devil has license to continue manipulating our
emotions through tossing more fiery darts of a similar nature
into our thoughts and feelings.
4. What I have just described is what the Bible calls The
renewing of the mind. This is clearly identified in Romans 12:1-
2, Ephesians 4:22-27 and James 1:21. Also compare Philippians
3:7-15.
I was talking with a Christian lady one day who has many
painful memories in her past. She was telling me that she had
gone through a year and a half of conventional psychological
therapy. The bulk of secular therapy today is focused upon going
forward. That is, first identify the problem, accept it for what
it is, and then walk away from it; never looking back. This
sounds good and works well for many people to a certain degree.
It is not a Biblical principle, however, but is the best man can
do. The unfortunate aspect of this philosophy is that many
Christians believe it is somehow Scriptural and thus, God
ordained. God heals our woundedness by the Biblical principle of
renewing the mind.
This lady told me that she did not need to go backwards in
her life so she needed no intercessory prayer. Her husband, in
her opinion, on the other hand, needed it desperately and if the
Lord would fix her husband, she would be happy. May I point out
that this woman's victory now can only be accomplished if her
husband submits to her way of thinking concerning the marital
relationship? What if he doesn't? Does that mean she will still
be in bondage? If she holds fast to the idea that God has
finished His work in her life and her mind needs no renewing,
then she is, in fact, in bondage. Bondage isn't the will of God
for anyone.
My point is this. If you believe all was settled at the
cross for you, then you cannot obey the command of the Lord to
renew your mind. Yes, all was finished upon the cross by the
Lord Jesus salvitically but to complete our fellowship with Him
throughout the rest of our life, there must be the renewing of
the mind in areas of woundedness. If this is not done, we allow
the devil to function behind the scenes; corrupting our
relationship with the Lord through deceitfulness.
5. A deep pain I had been literally carrying inside of me
for 11 years was triggered by a current event in my life. It is
true that my daughter was in both events, that is, in the one 11
years ago, and again on July the 4th but this is not always the
case. Once the devil has a legal right, spiritually speaking, to
throw his fiery darts, events need not be identical or even
similar. This same anger I experienced could have been triggered
by some other current event in my life. The woundedness is then
tapped and out comes the hurt and the pain and the subsequent
reaction to that pain is acted out in our emotions and feelings.
6. I was healed. I know many Christians attempt to
identify this type of prayer as new age mind renewal, hypnotic
suggestiveness, visual manipulation, creative meditation, self
hypnosis, and even demon hunting, but the truth is, I was healed
by the True Lord Jesus Christ. As Jesus said Himself, if Satan
would cast out himself, he would be dividing himself from his own
kingdom. See Matthew 12:22-32. I did not create or fabricate
this memory, I was just remembering it due to the pain embedded
in the past event. I wasn't meditating or trying to generate an
supernatural aura of some kind; I was just praying and allowing
the Lord Jesus to minister to me. Satan was defeated, I was set
free from the pain, and another door was slammed on demonic
access to my life.
I new I was healed for three reasons. First, the pain of
the memory no longer hurt. Second, I can return to the same
memory at any time and the pain is still gone. Third, my anger
began to subside that I had toward my daughter. Does that sound
like the devil or God?
7. Something I haven't mentioned related to this true story
is what I did once the Lord Jesus healed me. Now realizing that
I had in fact given place to the devil and allowed his thoughts
and feelings to become mine, I confessed this to the Lord as sin.
Why? Because I recognize I had given Satan ground upon which to
gain a foothold in my life. Now that I was healed and saw the
situation as the Lord saw it, I prayed and took back all the
ground I had given the devil and gave it back to the Lord for His
honor and glory. This closed off the demons ability to
communicate further with me with his thoughts and feelings.
8. When the demonic figure seen in my memory shrank in
size, it spiritually depicted his loss of authority in my life
through that event. As he walked away, he was unable to verbally
communicate with me. Why? Because he had no more access to my
renewed mind in this area. I had been healed of all related to
that one event. When I realized he was thinking, "Do I really
have to go?" it was because I spiritually sensed in my spirit the
Holy Spirit telling me this was what the demon was thinking. The
demon could not communicate his thoughts directly to my thoughts
any longer because he had no more legal right to do so.
9. Behavior modification and other psychological techniques
would not have worked in this healing process. In fact, I had
been, for many years, been confessing God's Word, praying for my
daughter, being faithful in my walk with the Lord, and doing
everything else a Christian should be doing. Yet, I still had
given place to the devil in a time of weakness unknowingly. With
this spiritual license to now function in my life, fear, doubt,
loneliness, helplessness, and many other such things were easily
tapped into by the demonic realm and exploited. My point is
this. Even quoting God's Word in this situation would not make
me feel any better. Why? I had given the devil a foothold in
which he could operate. No, I had not turned my life over to
Satan. No, I had no demon dwelling inside of me; he just had
access to my thoughts and feelings because I had, unknowingly,
given him place to function. Unless the Lord Jesus shows us
these areas which need the renewing of our minds, we will still
find ourselves attempting to deal with very painful past events
in our lives.
Comments.
I realize many Christians do not believe in demonic
influence once a person has been born again. They may believe
demons have some access to our lives as Christians but only in
the area of sin. As I pointed out, this had nothing to do with
sin in my life. The event 11 years ago had nothing to do with me
committing sin and even my anger this time was not unjust or
unholy; it was the result of frustration and concern. The
circumstances, and the strong raw emotions associated with the
event, created an atmosphere in which I was spiritually sensitive
and vulnerable. I did not realize I had let down my shield of
faith which would have protected me from all the fiery darts of
the devil. I was, in fact, too busy being afraid for my
daughter's whereabouts and safety. When a demon, therefore, took
advantage of this situation by tossing a few of his thoughts and
feelings upon my thoughts and feelings, the seeds, or ideas, were
planted and I reacted to them unawares. Over the years, the pain
deepened and anger helped suppress the pain. It then took an act
of God, if you please, to reach into my mind, expose the lies,
and to heal my broken heart and to renew my deceived mind. In
short, God used a current day experience for His honor and glory
in order to heal an old wound that was effecting my relationship
with him, and my daughter, all these years. If you are going to
give anybody the credit, therefore, praise God and not the devil
for this healing in my life.
End Of Chapter
THE DECEITFULNESS OF SIN
By
Phil Scovell
Copyright (C) 2003
All rights Reserved
Reproduction of the following is granted by the copyright holder,
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it was given. It may not be reproduced and sold for financial
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Scovell. Electronic formats may be distributed freely but this
copyright notice must remain with each copy and the text cannot
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CONTACT INFORMATION
Phil Scovell
840 South Sheridan Boulevard
Denver, Colorado 80226-8017
Voice: 303-936-2188
Email: Phil@SafePlaceFellowship.com
Web: WWW.RedWhiteAndBlue.ORG
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