The Absence Of Fear


                               By Phil Scovell



               I awakened one  morning with a mild tooth ache.   Such isn't
          all that uncommon for me.  I have about a dozen gold crowns and I
          have had  at  least 8  root  canals over  the  years.   It  isn't
          unusual, therefore, for  some of my teeth  to ache when I  have a
          cold or even when I am overly  stressed.  Plus, I've been told by
          my dentist I grind my teeth at night.

               My very first root canal  was performed by a family practice
          dentist fresh out of school.  He nearly killed me.  It was an eye
          tooth, or canine tooth, on my upper  right.  I had no hospital or
          dental insurance in those days.   The root canal became infected.
          After going back  to that dentist a  couple of times for  help, I
          gave up.  The  Christian man who was his partner,  didn't want to
          become involved.  He strongly urged  me to go and be admitted  to
          the hospital to  get the infection under  control.  I told  him I
          could not  do that since I had no insurance.  I ended up going to
          a  family doctor  and being  treated with  low level  antibiotics
          which  didn't help at  all.  I  soon found myself  living on pain
          medication.

               The infection in the  root of the tooth became  so severe, I
          got cellulitis and  the right side of  my face swelled up  like a
          balloon.  After being on strong  narcotics for over two weeks, my
          hearing became distorted, and I was finding it impossible to even
          function.  Through  a friend of  my wife's at  work, we found  an
          Endodontist, dental specialist,  and I went to see  him.  He said
          he would  have to get  the infection down  first.  I  was on more
          antibiotics, but  this time  very strong  antibiotics, for  three
          more full weeks.

               When the tooth  settled down, I  had no more  pain, and  he,
          fortunately, finished the root canal with no problems whatsoever.

               Recently,  something very similar occurred but with my other
          canine tooth on  my upper left.   That tooth already has  a crown
          and a root  canal but it was  hurting and getting worse.   When I
          went to our family dentist, he did some testing and discovered it
          was the  tooth behind the  canine tooth which  was dead.   It was
          also becoming infected.   He began the  root canal.  He  has done
          most of my root  canals over the years and  I have never had  any
          problems.   This time,  however, he just could  not find the pulp
          chamber which contains the tooth nerve endings.  A root  canal is
          conducted, once  the nerves are  removed, so that your  tooth can
          continued to receive  blood flow.  The dentist just could not, as
          I said, find this pulp chamber with the nerves and he  was afraid
          if he drilled any deeper on my  tooth, it would fracture the base
          of the tooth and I would have to have it extracted.  So, he  sent
          me to a Endodontist.

               The  Endodontist   was  great,  very   professional,  keenly
          compassionate and  his staff was  equally helpful.  He  fixed the
          root  canal, put  me on  tons  of antibiotics,  gave me  explicit
          instructions, and the  infection soon went away  and the swelling
          went down.

               I realize  this information seems superfluous but as you can
          see by what I have said so far, I did have cause to be concerned.
          Additionally,   it  was  a  golden  opportunity  for  anxiety  to
          manifest.

               Although there  were a  couple of  unusual spiritual  things
          which occurred as far as communicating with these medical people,
          at both  dental offices, I'll  save that story for  another time.
          What occurred in my  life recently, on the other hand,  is what I
          want to share concerning the absence of fear.

               If  you  have  taken  the  time  to read  any  of  my  other
          testimonial articles,  a  little  over  two years  ago,  my  life
          radically changed.   I reached a point  in my walk with  the Lord
          where  I  felt I  could  advance no  further.   I  felt  the Lord
          speaking to  me about quitting  my job and  that scared me.   The
          Lord  had already told me He  had a plan for  my life but He only
          told  me  enough  that  I  knew  basically  it  had  to  do  with
          intercessory prayer.   Well, I don't mind  telling you, I did not
          want to quit my job.  I have been  broke many times throughout my
          life,  and in  particular,  super  broke,  upon  occasion,  while
          working full  time in  the ministry.   I in no  way wanted  to go
          through that again.

               Frankly, I didn't trust God.   After all, He hadn't provided
          for me many  times in the past so  why would He now.   This was a
          lie, of course, but I  was thinking with my flesh and not with my
          spirit at the time.  So what happened?  Life  began to close down
          all  around me.   I felt  the depression  and anxiety  coming and
          began doing everything in my power to stop its advance.  I buried
          myself  in prayer,  Bible  reading, confession,  memorization  of
          Scripture, and  I crammed  in all the  church work I  could find.
          The darkness continued its slow ominous  advance upon my life.  I
          felt the fear  in that darkness and struggled to stay clear.  The
          fabric  of my life began to  tear in insignificant places and the
          fear,  masquerading as pain,  began creeping in.   I beat  at it,
          cursed  it, commanded  it away,  jumped  and stomped  on it,  and
          pounded on it but it only continued to come closer.

               I  began having  bad  nights where  I would  awaken multiple
          times throughout the  night.  Cold raw flashes  of anxiety washed
          over me occasionally and I knew it  was coming no matter how hard
          I tried  to stop it.   I begged  God to help  but still it  came;
          seeping into every  corner of my life.   Circumstances all around
          me began to look larger than life and soon larger than God's Word
          and eventually bigger  than God Himself.  Voices,  which had only
          been  thoughts  before,  now demonstrated  they  had personality.
          Using their skills  at deceitfulness, they confirmed  things were
          rapidly becoming hopeless.

               Eventually  the voices became bolder and began attempting to
          keep me from falling to sleep.   I began to double and triple  my
          sleep medication to  silence the voices long enough  that I could
          fall to sleep but they soon were able to even awaken me  out of a
          drug  induced sleep  and  startle  me awake  with  such force,  I
          thought I  was having nightmares.   Let me describe  one of these
          nocturnal events  to show  you how bad  it was  becoming at  that
          time.

               One night, I  took a whole pharmacy of  medications to force
          me into sleep.  I was sick of hearing the voices and  sick of the
          fear they brought.   No, I wasn't  becoming a drug addict;  I was
          just scared  and frightened of  what was happening  to me.   What
          were the voices doing to keep me awake?  As  I would drift off to
          sleep, they would wait until I was just about asleep, and  then I
          would hear a loud pop or bang or click in one ear  and I would be
          startled awake.   As I  tried going  back to  sleep again,  other
          sounds and noises, would be used. Sometimes even my name would be
          called  loudly  and  I  would  jump into  full  alertness.    The
          prescription  sleep medications helped,  at times, to  deaden the
          sounds I heard,  enough to allow me  to go to sleep  but more and
          more, the voices and sounds were invading my sleep.

               One night, as  I said, I took  an unusual large dose  of the
          medication.  I wasn't  afraid of over dosing but I  was afraid of
          the voices  and what they were doing to me.  I went off to sleep.
          Drug induced, yes, but I was asleep.  I had not  been asleep more
          than perhaps an hour when it happened.  I felt  like I was a deep
          sea  diver.  I  saw myself swimming  about twenty feet  below the
          surface when  something dark swam up behind me and grabbed one of
          my legs by the ankle.   Fear instantly flooded my mind and I felt
          myself being violently jerked to the surface.  When I reached the
          surface, I was  instantly awake.  I was  totally disoriented from
          the drugs and the frightening nightmare and began to cry out.  My
          wife awakened  and began  talking to  me to  give me  a point  of
          reference.  I do not  know what I would have  done if I had  been
          alone because  I wasn't  even certain  where I  was at  the time.
          Things grew worse.

               As I have said, the voices eventually took on personalities.
          Yes, I knew  they were demonic but no matter how often I used the
          name of Jesus,  they remained.  The tormenting  increased until I
          could no longer go to sleep due to fear.  It finally came to  the
          point I was not  only unable to go to  sleep but I was unable  to
          eat.  I was awake, and without food, for five  days.  Then things
          got worse.

               I have written concerning the  details of all the took place
          beyond  this point so  I won't detail  all that  now.  I  felt it
          necessary, however,  to say  this much in  order to  identify the
          fear in my life and how it became impossible to manage.

               I have  experienced major surgery  in my life  about fifteen
          times.    Over  a  dozen of  these  were  related  to  my retinal
          surgeries when I  was eleven years  of age.   As I have told  the
          story before,  giant amounts  of fear were  plugged into  my life
          during those  days and for various reasons.   If you want to read
          the details, read my testimony called, I Flew Kites With Jesus.

               Over the  last two years,  the Lord has  been healing  me in
          place after place after place where fear has been implanted.  The
          Enemy has  been steadily losing  ground.   Strongholds have  been
          exposed by the Holy  Spirit and pulled down.  Footholds have been
          discovered and eliminated  through prayer.   I am not  suggesting
          all fear has  been totally eradicated from my life but now I know
          how to find it and how  to get rid of it.   So, now.  Back to  my
          root canal story.

               After all the stress and pain  I was experiencing, I knew it
          was a good atmosphere to generate anxiety because of the physical
          stress and  strain and  physical pain involved.   After  all, few
          people enjoy  going  to the  dentist  and nobody  likes  stabbing
          piercing pain.   Those of  us who have horrible  experiences with
          the dentist are  especially susceptible at the time  we are being
          worked on.

               By the  end of  this  particular day,  I was  laying in  the
          dental chair  as the Endodontist  and his assistant worked  on my
          root  canal.  My back hurt, my muscles were stiff, and to say the
          least, I was stressed out.

               As  I lay  there  letting  them do  their  work, I  realized
          something  was different.   I  thought  about it  for awhile  but
          wasn't certain as to its nature.   Something, however, definitely
          felt different.  Then it hit me.  I wasn't nervous or afraid like
          I normally would have been.  You see, with all  the fear that was
          implanted in my  life when I was  a child going through  all that
          major  surgery,  and even  then,  only  to  lose my  sight,  such
          stressful  events in  my  life almost  always  triggered lots  of
          painful memories of those earlier  days.  This time was different
          because there was no fear which to trigger.

               As they worked on me, I began to feel around in  my emotions
          to see  if I could  detect any areas  of fear.   If I would  have
          found some, I would have known there were other areas along those
          lines which need healing.  I found nothing.   I felt around in my
          emotions  again and  pushed deeper  into my  thoughts to  try and
          expose  any fear.   Still nothing.   I tried  generating the fear
          myself  by making fearful suggestions such as, "They aren't going
          to be able to fix it.  You are going to have worse pain than ever
          before.  The same thing is going  to happen to you this time that
          happened the  last time  and you know  how bad  that was."   Even
          after these thoughts were deliberately created in my mind,  still
          no fear came.  I was at peace.

               I  wonder how  many of  you  reading this  article have  had
          something like what I  am about to describe  ever happen to  you.
          Often, even in the middle of the  day, as a grown adult man, if I
          went into the  basement alone, sometimes, while doing  whatever I
          went downstairs for, I would suddenly feel a cold fear  wash over
          me and I'd get goose bumps all up and down my arms.  Sometimes it
          would run down my spine.   Something felt fearful and frightening
          around me.   I would always  brush it off  as having watched  too
          many  spooky movies as a  kid.  I remember  one time being in the
          basement  alone at  night and  those cold  fearful thoughts  came
          around and it literally  felt like something  put its hand on  my
          shoulder.  Yes, it did scare me but again, I shook it off.  After
          all, I'm a grown man now.  There's nothing there.

               In the past two years, I have received  healing from fear in
          places of my life I never  dreamed existed.  As I lay on  my back
          and listened to the  people working on me, I  suddenly realized I
          could not generate, even on my own, any fear.  As I thought about
          it, I realized there was only one answer.  The healing of fear by
          the Lord in so many other places in  my life had now reached even
          into this  realm of  my physical  life.   In short,  fear had  no
          foothold.

               Several months ago, I was  in our basement alone.  Suddenly,
          I realized  something was different.   There was no  awareness of
          fear.  I stopped and  deliberately attempted to generate the fear
          by  thinking certain  thoughts.   Nothing  happened.   Even  now,
          almost every time I go to the basement alone, I try  and generate
          the  fear I used to feel.  It  is gone.  Why?  Because the demons
          associated with  the fear are gone.   They have no  more foothold
          upon which they can gain access to my emotions.

               The solution is  simple.  Allow God to heal you in the areas
          of  deep  rooted  fear,  let  the Holy  Spirit  expose  the  lies
          associated with it, and you will then be able to hear God's truth
          spoken to you and the truth will set you free.

                               End Of Document

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