The Blind Jesus

                        the Identity Of Christ Is You

                               By Phil Scovell


     Author's Note.   This testimony contains offensive language.   If such
     bothers you as a Christian, don't read passed this point.  If you want
     to  hear the  truth, read  on.   The  particular language  is  used to
     demonstrate the level of frustration people experience.  Therefore, it
     is representative in nature and not actual.  The rest is up to you.

     End of author's note.

          Recently I was  praying with a lady, by the name  of Mari, who is
     blind.   I'm blind, too, so this normally  doesn't have anything to do
     with the prayer sessions.  However, blind people, and those with other
     disabilities,   forgive  me  for   using  the  term   disability,  are
     perpetually faced with blind related  issues which refuses to let them
     think of themselves as  normal.  What do I mean?   Well, let's say you
     need to go to  the grocery store because  you are out of milk,  bread,
     and Frosted Mini Wheats.   So you get on the horn and  call 25 of your
     best friends,  if you have that many, and you  get a lot of no answers
     and a boat load of excuses  and even one friend who says they  will do
     it but  you'll have  to wait until  next Thursday  before they  can go
     because their car is in the shop.  Of course, you know they have three
     cars but  you let  that one  go.  Then  you break  down and  call your
     family  members but they  rarely want to  help in the  first place and
     they always  say no anyhow.   They did  this time,  too, but one  also
     added that  you should be  a better planner  and keep track  of things
     more  efficiently.   Nothing new  here,  of course,  because your  mom
     always says  that and usually  one of your sisters,  too.  You  let it
     slide.   This  is all  understandable,  you've been  told by  experts,
     normally who aren't blind themselves, so you can't blame your friends,
     and God only knows you can't  blame your own family, but, dad  gum it,
     you've got to blame somebody and you  can't blame yourself, for crying
     out loud, so you have only one thing left; your blindness.  After all,
     you are  truly blind; right?  So it has to be because of your freaking
     blindness.  For that matter, if  you weren't blind, you could, if  you
     had enough gasoline left in the tank, run  right down to the old store
     and buy  the things you need  for breakfast.   Even if you are  out of
     gas,  you could walk, if  the store isn't far  away, so what's the big
     deal?  The big deal is your damn  blindness and it has been a big deal
     all your miserable freaking  life.  You can never forget  that you are
     blind because  things keep reminding  you, including people,  that you
     are blind.  Bumping your head, tripping over your kid's, or grandkid's
     tricycle they never put  up, stepping over, and falling over,  the dog
     or cat,  receiving a registered  letter, or  a court  summons and  not
     having any sighted people  around to tell you what the hell it is for,
     taking  a  dump and  wondering if  you  are bleeding  from  the rectum
     because your hemorrhoids  hurt like somebody is squeezing  them with a
     pair of  pliers, waking up in the morning  and discovering one of your
     false eyes is missing, or you
     have misplaced your false  teeth, or discovering you had  a nose bleed
     during the night and  there is nobody to  see if you got blood  on the
     snow white waterbed sheets you paid 130  bucks for, going to work with
     two   totally  different  color   shoes,  brushing  your   teeth  with
     Preparation H,  unable to  find your tampons  box, sticking  a toasted
     marsh mellow in your from  you just roasted over a cook out  fire only
     to discover a honey bee has landed on it and it stings the crap out of
     you, bumping your  face on the cardoor  window as you climb  into your
     friend's vehicle on the way to church  so everybody at church wants to
     know what happened to your bruised  face, picking up a cold snake  the
     dogs dragged into  your kitchen, thinking  it's dead, only to  find it
     isn't,  drinking out of someone  else's glass at  the church pot luck,
     entering the wrong gender public restroom, being targeted at church by
     some  concerned parishioner  and  asked how  you  got pregnant,  being
     denied a room on a second floor of  a hotel because blind people can't
     walk up and down stairs, getting  off on the wrong floor and  entering
     the  wrong  doctor's  office,  sitting  down on  the  couch  to  watch
     television only to suddenly discover one of your kids left his monster
     truck right where  you sat down, wearing two  different colored socks,
     two different styles  of cowboy boots, discovering your  dog pooped in
     the middle of  the living room right  after company has come  to visit
     and they pointed it out to  you, having someone at church indicate  to
     you that you didn't eat  a remaining morsel of  food on your plate  so
     they stick it on  your fork and  shove it into your  mouth for you  in
     front of  everybody, and I  could add at  least another 300  things to
     this short list.  The bottom line is being reminded of your blindness.
     Now, some blind  people say this isn't  a problem and they  never have
     such thoughts.  These are blind people never  to be trusted.  It could
     also be that they  are young but God help  you if you are around  them
     once they get  over 50 years  of age.  What  does all this have  to do
     with prayer?  Let me explain.

          As I said, I was praying recently  with a lady who is blind.  Her
     blindness, mixed  in with all  the other things  she has faced  in her
     life, felt as  if it were getting the  best of her.  Since  I, too, am
     blind, I understood the feelings she was facing.  I know what it feels
     like never to have anybody from  your church call you, let alone  come
     and visit you, and I know what it feels like at church, when everybody
     shakes hands  with everybody  else but you  during the  greeting song.
     Oh, it  has absolutely nothing to  do with your  blindness, of course,
     but  people just  are busy  and they  overlook things.    Yeah, that's
     right.   That's what it is alright.   A chicken has lips, too.  I know
     what it feels like  to be lonely.  Not lonely because you don't have a
     friend to call  or go visit but  because your blind.   I know what  it
     feels like  to be standing  in a  group of perhaps  a dozen  men after
     church, everyone talking to each other,  and soon they all drift  away
     without a  single soul even saying hello to you.   I've set in circles
     of  men at pot luck dinners on  the church grounds and watch every man
     eventually get up and leave  without saying one word to  me.  I was  a
     deacon in  this same church and had preached  in this same church many
     times so don't tell me they didn't know me.  I take  that back.  Maybe
     they did.  You see, one time I was sitting in the auditorium where the
     head pastor had about 150  people come to his Sunday school  teaching.
     My wife and I got there early.  My wife went with someone, probably to
     the bathroom, and  soon a man  sat down  next to me  before the  class
     began.  "Hello, sir," he said.  My name is Frank."

          I stuck  out my hand, shook his, and said," Hi Frank.  My name is
     Phil Scovell.  Nice to meet you."

          We talked for a couple of  minutes and one thing and another  and
     finally Frank said, "I  don't believe I've seen you hear before, Phil.
     Have you been coming here long?"

          "Only 13 years," I said with a sigh wondering if I should ask him
     if  this was  his  first Sunday  or  what?   I didn't.    Yes, he  was
     surprised.   I  hope he felt  stupid, too,  but I give  him credit; at
     least he said hello.   As it turned out, he  was assigned to meet  the
     new people who came  to the class so what  he was doing was his  class
     participation appointment  and far from  natural.  I had  been in this
     particular Sunday school class for a year so I have no idea where this
     guy  had been all that time.  I  mean, it is sort of difficult to miss
     two blind people  every Sunday coming in with white canes.  Unless you
     are blind yourself, of course, but I digress.

          I also know what it is like to lose friends because they discover
     you disagree with them on something in the Scriptures.  I've lost five
     close  friends, four of them pastors, over this very type of issue.  I
     know what it is like not to be accepted by your own family because you
     are blind.

          One day I called my  oldest sister just a block  away.  It was  a
     Sunday  afternoon.   I asked  what she was  doing.   At this  time, my
     youngest  sister was  living with  our  older sister  because she  was
     between marriages.  "Oh, we are just trying to fix a dumb kitchen sink
     but we can't get it," my sister confirmed.

          "What's wrong with the sink?" I asked.

          "Oh, nothing.  You couldn't fix  it any way.  It's just  going to
     be busted till  we can afford a  plumber to come  in here and that  is
     going to be a long time because neither of us have any money."

          "What is wrong with the sink?" I said a second time.

          "Oh, nothing."

          "Describe it to me," I insisted.

          She did.  I said, "I can fix that."

          "Oh, no,   It is  broken for good.   It'll take a  plumber at 100
     dollars an hour to fix it.  Thanks anyway."

          I told my sister that I had just fixed the exact same problem all
     by myself  with my own kitchen sink and it works fine and there are no
     more leaks."

          She almost believed me.

          "I'll  walk right down  there.  Do  you need any  other parts?" I

          "No, we  have everything but  don't bother,  Phil.   I'll get  it
     fixed.   I'll call one of the  men in the church and  get them to come

          "I'm leaving  the house now  so I'll  be there in  five minutes."
     She was still talking when I put the phone down.

          MY oldest sun, he  wasn't driving yet, and I walked  the block to
     my  sisters.  When I arrived,  we went into the  kitchen.  It was only
     the goose neck.   It looked identical to mine I had  just replaced.  I
     got under the sink,  put everything together, shoot, even a  blind man
     could  do it, and within five  minutes, everything was back to normal.
     My sisters were amazed.  I went home thinking that my sisters probably
     went  through things  like that dozens  of times when  they could have
     just called  their dumb ass blind  brother to ask him for  help.  They
     never did.  They still don't.

          All of  this has been  said simply to  explain I know  what being
     blind is really like.  If you meat a dishonest blind person, they will
     deny these things  bother them.  If that  is so, good for  them, but I
     for one  never wish  blindness on  anybody.   So, back  to the  prayer
     session.  I'm sorry I keep getting sidetracked.

          We prayed into some  similar issues, but  in short, she was  just
     tired of being blind.   This provides a golden opportunity  for demons
     to attempt to gain handholds, then possible footholds, and ultimately,
     strongholds, in  our lives.   What we  are facing is  normal emotional
     responses   to   every   day   natural   experiences  of   frustrating
     circumstances, but the Enemy never plays fair.   So, if a lying spirit
     is around,  this makes it  easy for him.   "Yeah, nobody  really likes
     you.  Remember school?   The kids never  liked you and they were  even
     blind themselves.  You don't  have a chance.   No one from the  church
     ever calls or comes  over and even if  they do make plans to  come and
     see you,  they cancel,  or worse,  they just  never show.   It's  your
     blindness alright.  Of  course, there are  other things, too, and  you
     know what I am talking about.  Why, if those people at church knew the
     things you had done,  they'd never like you.   Why don't you  just get
     drunk.  Oh, I know you haven't had anything to drink for 20 years  but
     now  sure would be a good time to start  up again.  Say, I bet some of
     your old  contacts have  some dope you  could score.   Yeah,  let's do
     that.  You  know how good you felt  stoned.  Let's do  that.  Besides,
     just once  won't hurt  anything.   Those people  really  did like  you
     anyhow.  These Christian people  have proved they don't because, after
     all, you are  blind.  Remember?"   this scenario could be  expanded to
     include hundreds of variables  and other possibilities, blind or  not,
     and often  it works.  This time, it  didn't because we prayed together
     in agreement and let Jesus into the picture.

          Within a  few seconds  of praying, she  was in  school.   She was
     little and  everybody seemed  to  move away  from her  and she  didn't
     understand why.  A  lying spirit whispered into her  thoughts and told
     her a bunch of lies that sounded logically to her little  girl's mind.
     She felt sad.

          Suddenly, and  this rarely  happens to me,  I saw  Jesus standing
     across the room from the little girl  who was all by herself.  He  was
     wearing sunglasses and carrying a  white cane which he was  tapping in
     front  of him  as if he  couldn't see  where he  was going.   I nearly
     laughed out loud but didn't.   Jesus surely looked comical doing that,
     though.   That was  one of  his Intents.   I  said nothing  during the
     prayer session about what I spiritually saw as we prayed.

          Near  the end  of our  short prayer  session, lying  spirits were
     gathered up  and dismissed  from their  lying assignments  against the
     little girl.  A tremendously strong feeling came over me, as I prayed,
     to command the  lying spirits to go  blind since they used  the little
     girl's blindness against her to make her feel bad.  I didn't because I
     didn't want to suggest anything to the woman and spiritually misdirect
     her healing  experience with the Lord.  This was Jesus at work and not

          The woman began laughing.  "What's so funny?" I asked quietly.

          "A hammer came  into view and broke  something that looks  like a
     clay pot.   It shattered and all these bug like looking things spilled
     out.  Jesus is gathering them all  up,"  More laughter.  "They are all
     blind.  Phil!  They are blind.  I am not kidding.  They are all blind.
     I can tell.  They can't see where they are going and Jesus is sweeping
     them down  a long  glass tubing that  goes down  for miles  and miles.
     They try and cling  to the sides but  it is too slippery and  they are
     falling."  Silence.  "They are all gone now."   Her voice even sounded
     clear whereas  before, it  was depressed and  filled with  sadness and

          "Does this really happen?"

          No.   I'm making the  whole thing up.  I  like fooling people and
     misleading  them.  So  don't ever call  me because I'll  fool you into
     thinking all  types of  weird things, too.   "Besides,  this can't  be
     Jesus doing this  stuff.  He doesn't do this type of healing any more,
     does he?"  It sounds like to me that you have your theology screwed on
     backwards just a little bit.  Does  Jesus identify Himself with you in
     impossible and painful situations you  experience as a Christian?  No?
     Oh, really?  Why  not?  Can't you see Jesus in your  life?  Doesn't He
     care about  you and  what you  face?   You  see, this  was the  second
     purpose Jesus  had in  mind which He  wanted this lady  to experience,
     that is, His true identity, with her  and in her, as what she faces as
     one  of His children.  Remember the  first?  He wanted to show Himself
     and demonstrate the buffoonery of  the enemy and expose his stupidity,
     while at  the same time, demonstrating His superiority in our lives as
     Jesus our  Lord.  Is He the  Lord of your life or  did you just accept
     Him as your Savior?  Do you only have half of Jesus or did you get Him
     all at the moment of your salvation?   If the Enemy is still torturing
     you, Jesus isn't Lord.  To whom do you turn when you feel bad?  If you
     identify with  Jesus, He will  identify with you.   Even if  you don't
     identify with Him, He will still identify with you.  In such case, you
     may not recognize His presence but He is there because He said He was.
     Remember where you heard it.

     Safe Place Fellowship
     Phil Scovell
     Denver, Colorado
     Mountain Time Zone

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