Walking Free From Depression And Suicide
By George R
I am a man that is 46 years old. I had accomplished many
things in my life. Made a lot of money, had small time
businesses, and made money as a futures and commodities trader.
I learned all I could to gain everything I could in the world; by
I Married at 18 years of age and am still married and
faithful for 28 years. I have two wonderful children.
I have been a sufferer of major depression to the point of
suicide; even trying to figure out the most painless way to do it
at great lengths. I did not realize what my problem was or why
this could be happening to me. Albeit when I was younger I was
the most happy productive positive person. I never dreamed or
even knew what depression was much less it would get me. I would
think, well if I do die somewhere in life, I will go home to be
with Jesus because I am saved. I was very confident and then all
of a sudden the day came the darkness of depression moved in like
I can't even describe. I begged God to kill me; take me out of
the world. Death would not even come to me even though I begged
for it. Day and night I cried and literally scared to death of
what I do not know. Scared to die and scared to live. No I was
not on drugs nor did I have a drinking problem. I was a man who
loved life even though most of my family members have passed away
and my daughter has been in the hospital many many times in her
life. I always seemed to be ok. Maybe a mid-life crisis? I
sincerely doubt it. I had always held up under some of the most
scary situations that life could bring. So now why was I afraid
and scared out of my wits of death?
I could not even pass by a cemetery without going to pieces.
Death and caskets and hearses haunted me and taunted me. Did I
read Stephen King novels? The answer is no. I would watch Psycho
with Norman Bates and unconsciously was trying to find some of my
answers. I could relate to him as I was treated like him as a
child. As a matter of fact one of the actresses asked him in
Psycho 2 when they were in Norman's mothers bedroom, she said,
"What happened in this room that scared you so bad?" When I
heard that, it did something to me. I remember as a 6 year old
child of going into our bathroom at home, my Mother was in there,
and I said, "Mom, I am afraid to die." She said son your going
to live a long time. Why would a 6 year old child be afraid to
die, you ask?
At the point of almost killing myself I found Phil Scovell
and Safe place fellowship. Intercessory prayer was the beginning
of the end of my depression. I am by no means there 100 percent
yet but have received many healings from my Lord Jesus. The Lord
would take me back to places where the memories were hurt or
scared me so bad. He would show me he was there with me, expose
Satan's lies, and give me His truth and thereby setting me free.
As I said I am not all the way there yet but have made a lot of
progress. I did not realize it but I was carrying all the hurts
and pains of my life. Jesus, through His great love, has shown
and healed me in a lot of these areas. Did I ever take medicine
for depression? Yes! Do I hear the Lord's voice clearer now?
Yes, indeed, and it is wonderful. Do I believe he is standing
right next to me? Most assuredly
My own Pastor even made light of people that are depressed.
Very few people in the Body of Christ know how to deal with this
problem. I know, because I sought there help. I would read
every spiritual book I could get my hands on. Jesus knew my
problem and now He is getting it out of me through intercessory
your brother in the faith,
End Of Document
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