Do We Really Believe and Why Not?
                              By George Roberts
          I am  writing  this with  the true  attitude of  how  some of  us
     believe, but  do not show or really say  but keep it buried, sometimes
     possibly for years,  until we finally  crack. I will  say that all  in
     this article is based on true life experiences.
          First I want to address the issue of Jesus Christ as our Lord and
     personal savior.  I have been saved since I was 18 years old and am 48
     years old now. I will give you a brief history of my life and will get
     to the jest of the article.
          When I was 16 my brother Bill was killed in a motorcycle accident
     in Fontana California. He was soon to be 18 in 6 days. My father who's
     name was also  Bill died when I  was 23 and he  was 64 and he  died of
     Cancer. My  mother Alice died when I was  28 of pulmonary imbulisom to
     the right lung she was 67.   Needless to say this was the beginning of
     a  3 year  spiral of depression  that was  keeping me at  the point of
     suicide constantly. I,  as do many Christians, just tried  to tough it
     out and get over it.  The depression didn't lift until I  was 46 years
     old but  deep  down  I  constantly  had a  nagging  of  my  real  true
     relationship with  the Lord  and didn't know  why.   Well next  was my
     sister Jeanne who passed away of upper  raspatory cancer when I was 46
     she was  62. Now the straw that broke the camel's back was my daughter
     Jennifer that passed away April 11th 2005 she was 23 I am 48. Where is
     Jesus? I said where is Jesus? Many of you have been where I have  been
     and are under  so much stress and  depression you just can't  stand it
          Let me  give you the  intent of  my article. The  Apostles, after
     Jesus  had been  crucified were  so depressed  and scared  they locked
     themselves in a room. Sounds like what I did. The reason they did this
     is because they thought Jesus was dead and all there hopes were dashed
     to pieces.  Read the  Gospels and  you will  find this  is true.  Even
     though they had walked with him for 3 and a half years they were still
     scared. Why?  I will tell  you why.  They needed a  personal encounter
     with the  Lord.  Not just  someone telling  them about  him like  Mary
     magdalene did. She said I have seen the Lord they did not believe her.
     the  2 men on the road  to Emmaus saw him  and reported what they saw.
     They still didn't  believe. When did the Apostles  believe? When Jesus
     appeared to them in the locked room where they  were and, Bingo!  They
     believed because they saw him and were overjoyed he was alive and then
     they could believe everything else he had said. Do you think Jesus was
     upset because they had to see him to believe? Absolutely not.
          Now  let's consider another  area that preacher's  and minister's
     have truly, yes  I said truly crippled  the body of Christ.  By saying
     things like  if  you need  to see  Jesus then,  bless  God, you  don't
     believe. Or we walk  by faith and not by sight and if  you have to see
     to believe then you're not a real Christian. Or they will say and talk
     about him as if he was the only one that did not believe. None of them
     believed  until they  saw him.  Even Paul  the Apostle  didn't believe
     until  he saw him.   Let's go  back to  the Apostles and  realize that
     after they saw Him, they believed. What is wrong with you and I seeing
     Jesus in this present day? Absolutely  nothing. I have asked  him many
     times  to see him  and just the other  night  an  angel appeared on my
     side of the bed while I  was asleep and my wife  saw  it. Churches are
     crippling  the  body  of  Christ by  preaching  that  we    don't need
     experiences  with  Jesus just  believe.   It's  not right.  He is   no
     respecter of  person's. If  he wanted  to  appear to  the Apostles  he
     wants  to appear to you. If you are at  a place where I am at now with
     all  the  death that has occurred, then  just tell him Lord  I need to
     see  to  believe.   Forget about what anybody  says and even what your
     church  teaches. Go to Jesus personally and tell him  what you need. I
     always  thought he would get mad at me for asking something like that.
     Guess who  taught me that rubbish? You guessed it all the well meaning
     ministers  and preachers. My  daughter's passing was the catalyst that
     almost drove  me out of my mind  and caused me to fall into depression
     so severe.
          I   have went  through 2  years  of intercessory  prayer with  my
     friend Phil  Scovell and Jesus came and gave me truth and expelled the
     lies of  the   enemy. He  even appeared to  me in  many of  the prayer
     sessions which was  a  great  relief to me. If  I hadn't gone  through
     that I  surely would  have   committed suicide  at the  passing of  my
     daughter. I  never dreamed we would  be  without our daughter. Yes she
     is in Heaven but you know I live here  and it's tough without her. And
     I will tell  you why. I am  not Mr.  Spiritual  as some try to  be and
     then crash and burn. I have told the  Lord I need to  see you like the
     Apostles saw you and he is not mad at me  and I am not ashamed to have
     asked him. I pray this will take some of  you to a  place you will ask
     the  Lord to give  you what  you need because   you are  struggling so
     hard. If you want to call my friend Phil and ask   him about me please
     do so. He has been where I have been also.
          Now for  the scriptural references to prove what I have said:
     Luke 24 the whole  chapter  John 20 and 21 the whole  chapter  Mark 16
     the whole chapter   Acts chapter 9 the whole chapter   1st Corinthians
     9:1  Acts 7:55-60.
     Sincerely;  Your faithful brother and servant to Jesus,
     George S. Roberts
     Safe Place Fellowship
     Phil Scovell
     Denver, Colorado
     Mountain Time Zone
                            End Of Document