By Carol P

          One day, as  I was going through a time of deep sorrow and trauma
     and God was healing me in many places following the death of my father
     and especially in the  area of bereavement, I felt a  burden too heavy
     and dark and horrible even to  handle.  It felt as though it  was that
     "immoveable mountain"  so much bigger  than myself, but it  was not so
     big that God could not remove it! 
          As we  prayed, I was asked if I wanted  this burden to be removed
     and  encouraged to give it to the Lord.   "Yes, I did want Him to take
     it, and I wanted to give it - but how could I?"  It was far too big  .
     . ..  I felt I couldn't even lift it! 
          As I looked for a way, God spoke to me and called me to come into
     His safe place, the shelter from  the storm, and let Him do the  rest.
     He spoke to me with a verse from the Bible which says 
     "The name  of the Lord is a strong  tower; the righteous man runs into
     it and is safe."  (Proverbs 18:10). 
          Yes, it was easy too!  No sooner had I turned to Him and began to
     run  to Him than He was there with  me and the burden was no longer my
     responsibility but His!   He took it and many others also at that time
     and I found healing and release from many heavy burdens! 
          I began  to see what  a wonderfully safe place  I had in  Him and
     desired to remain there always, sheltered from  the storms of life, as
     He carried my burdens and I received afresh from Him the protection He
     offers His children.  What a wonderful sense of peace that brought! 
          Let me explain this a little more.  In my early life I suffered a
     good deal of mental and physical abuse, and also went through a number
     of traumatic events.  These began with a very premature birth, a "near
     death"  experience  at  two  days  old,  followed  by  some  long-term
     rejection by my  mother, whilst my father had work which took him away
     from home on a schedule which was far too complex for a small child to
     understand.   I was  forced to leave  home to attend a  school for the
     blind at the age of two and a  half . . . Oh, yes, and the story  goes
     on .  . . and on!  The deep-seated  real grief that I experienced over
     and over  and over  again, together  with anxiety  and fear  as I  was
     forced to be away from my parents and in new surroundings caused great
     pain in my little life,  such that I was not able to cope with it in a
     normal way.  I became what is  termed "Dissociated", where parts of my
     mind became fragmented as I developed my own special, complex "coping"
     mechanisms in  order to  survive. This is  now known  as "Dissociative
     Identity  Disorder" (DID for short).   It was  formerly referred to as
     "Multiple  Personality Disorder",  MPD),   but this  was felt to  be a
     misleading  term.   A  person  with DID(MPD)  does  have  two or  more
     entities, (personality states)  each with its  own independent way  of
     perceiving, thinking, remembering  and relating to the  person's life.
     If more than one of  these entities (sometimes called "personalities")
     control the person's behavior  at a given time a diagnosis  of MPD can
     be made.   "Dissociation" is real.   It is now not considered  to be a
     psychosis  nor  a  personality  disorder  but  is  documented  by  the
     professionals to be a very sophisticated survival mechanism for coping
     with  overwhelming  and often  (as  in  my case)  enduring,  childhood
     trauma."   dissociative Disorders  (DD) are now  much wider recognized
     and are  understood to be  fairly common  effects of severe  trauma in
     early  childhood which  can  be extreme  and  often require  long-term
     treatment  which  is  usually  carried  out  by  psychiatrists  and/or
          This all may sound a little "far fetched" to you as you read, but
     I  assure you  that this  Dissociated Identity  Disorder from  which I
     suffered is real.  It is now well documented on the Internet.  (See  
     to learn more about this from Christian professionals.  It is exciting
     to  discover  that, not  only  is  this  more readily  understood  and
     accepted by Christians but also  that some are recognizing the healing
     power of Jesus  Christ in such areas as  Dissociated Identity Disorder
     and  other trauma  related conditions  and are  playing their  part in
     supporting and,  most importantly,  praying with  and for  traumatized
     individuals.  God does the rest!  Furthermore, He doesn't have  to use
     the  pastor of  a church  to  help those  who have  any need  of God's
     healing.  Those of us who have experienced such healing  know, without
     a  doubt, that we  are becoming  "whole", so that  we can grow  as His
     beloved children and become more and more like Him and be those strong
     and healthy believers He wants us to be! 
          For the sake of simplicity in this article, I refer to those many
     "separate  entities"  in  my  life   as  "my  own  particular  "little
     personalities", because  that's the way  I often viewed them.   (Other
     friends also  who still  suffer from  this condition  will be able  to
     identify with these "personalities".)  To me, they were my own "little
     helpers". Most had names and did various jobs to protect my  life from
     all harm, or at least that which  I perceived to be "harmful", and did
     a  good job too,  covering up well,  for example, when  (at the age of
     eight) I  hid serious illness from my worried  parents for a number of
     days because I  couldn't cope with their anxiety, which  I had already
     experienced in other traumatic illness situations.   I even had my own
     "nurse"  and "doctor"  to help  me   through the  tremendously painful
     illness I  suffered!   I would   categorically state  here that  these
     "entities/little helpers"  were NOT  demons, as some  would think.   I
     believe it would have done harm to me to try to "cast them out".  They
     loved me  and learned to  love and trust  Phil who prayed  with me and
     eventually were happy to let Jesus make me whole again! 
          This "coping  mechanism" worked  for me for  many years,  until I
     began to experience the healing detailed  at the top of this  article.
     It was  then that I discovered  God's desire to heal  my "Dissociative
     Identity Disorder" also.  After all, only  He could really care for me
     properly, only He  could really shelter me from the storm and He alone
     was able to make me whole again.  If I wanted to be  whole then He was
     willing to bring about that healing! 
          He did a very wonderful thing!  He set about making Himself known
     to my various "personalities",  as I may describe them here.   Yes, He
     even got down with them and talked and played (as they did) until they
     were totally  comfortable with  Him.  It  took some months  of regular
     prayer as they  all had developed  in their own  little ways and  were
     afraid to move out from what  they knew and the way they worked;   but
     He  was  patient  and waited  for  the  right time.    Once  they were
     comfortable and wanted to live with Him in the light, even as He is in
     the light, He  was able to bring  them into that light  and to restore
     them as one whole  being again.  This meant that I was now healed from
     the "coping mechanisms" I  had adopted to take care of  myself even as
     far  back as a  small baby.   He has recently  talked to  me some more
     about my need for Him  to take care of me -  that is, for Him to  take
     care of all of me - and to protect me totally, in a far more wonderful
     way  than  I  could  ever  have  been  protected  by  my  own  "little
     helpers"/coping mechanisms.   .  He has  shown me that He  can protect
     those inner parts, my  thoughts and feelings that get so  easily hurt,
     and keep me safe from the harmful weapons of Satan.  What a wonderful,
     loving Heavenly Father we have! 
          I have more  healing to experience and  more joy to come  but, in
     the meantime, I am so glad to return thanks to Him for all that He has
     done so far in my life!  If you think you may need healing as a result
     of life's  traumas, please contact  Phil at Safe Place  Fellowship and
     someone will be glad to pray with you.

          In John's Gospel, Chapter 5 and Verse 6, Jesus asks a man who had
     been infirm  for 38 years, "Would you  like to become well?"   He asks
     this of  a man who  has waited  a long  time by the  Pool of  Bethesda
     without anyone to help him and unable to  help himself to get into the
     water and  be healed:  He still offers  that invitation today, that we
     may become whole!

     Safe Place Fellowship
     Phil Scovell
     Mountain Time Zone
     Web:  www.safeplacefellowship.com

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