WOULD YOU LIKE TO BECOME WELL?
By Carol P
One day, as I was going through a time of deep sorrow and trauma
and God was healing me in many places following the death of my father
and especially in the area of bereavement, I felt a burden too heavy
and dark and horrible even to handle. It felt as though it was that
"immoveable mountain" so much bigger than myself, but it was not so
big that God could not remove it!
As we prayed, I was asked if I wanted this burden to be removed
and encouraged to give it to the Lord. "Yes, I did want Him to take
it, and I wanted to give it - but how could I?" It was far too big .
. .. I felt I couldn't even lift it!
As I looked for a way, God spoke to me and called me to come into
His safe place, the shelter from the storm, and let Him do the rest.
He spoke to me with a verse from the Bible which says
"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into
it and is safe." (Proverbs 18:10).
Yes, it was easy too! No sooner had I turned to Him and began to
run to Him than He was there with me and the burden was no longer my
responsibility but His! He took it and many others also at that time
and I found healing and release from many heavy burdens!
I began to see what a wonderfully safe place I had in Him and
desired to remain there always, sheltered from the storms of life, as
He carried my burdens and I received afresh from Him the protection He
offers His children. What a wonderful sense of peace that brought!
Let me explain this a little more. In my early life I suffered a
good deal of mental and physical abuse, and also went through a number
of traumatic events. These began with a very premature birth, a "near
death" experience at two days old, followed by some long-term
rejection by my mother, whilst my father had work which took him away
from home on a schedule which was far too complex for a small child to
understand. I was forced to leave home to attend a school for the
blind at the age of two and a half . . . Oh, yes, and the story goes
on . . . and on! The deep-seated real grief that I experienced over
and over and over again, together with anxiety and fear as I was
forced to be away from my parents and in new surroundings caused great
pain in my little life, such that I was not able to cope with it in a
normal way. I became what is termed "Dissociated", where parts of my
mind became fragmented as I developed my own special, complex "coping"
mechanisms in order to survive. This is now known as "Dissociative
Identity Disorder" (DID for short). It was formerly referred to as
"Multiple Personality Disorder", MPD), but this was felt to be a
misleading term. A person with DID(MPD) does have two or more
entities, (personality states) each with its own independent way of
perceiving, thinking, remembering and relating to the person's life.
If more than one of these entities (sometimes called "personalities")
control the person's behavior at a given time a diagnosis of MPD can
be made. "Dissociation" is real. It is now not considered to be a
psychosis nor a personality disorder but is documented by the
professionals to be a very sophisticated survival mechanism for coping
with overwhelming and often (as in my case) enduring, childhood
trauma." dissociative Disorders (DD) are now much wider recognized
and are understood to be fairly common effects of severe trauma in
early childhood which can be extreme and often require long-term
treatment which is usually carried out by psychiatrists and/or
This all may sound a little "far fetched" to you as you read, but
I assure you that this Dissociated Identity Disorder from which I
suffered is real. It is now well documented on the Internet. (See
to learn more about this from Christian professionals. It is exciting
to discover that, not only is this more readily understood and
accepted by Christians but also that some are recognizing the healing
power of Jesus Christ in such areas as Dissociated Identity Disorder
and other trauma related conditions and are playing their part in
supporting and, most importantly, praying with and for traumatized
individuals. God does the rest! Furthermore, He doesn't have to use
the pastor of a church to help those who have any need of God's
healing. Those of us who have experienced such healing know, without
a doubt, that we are becoming "whole", so that we can grow as His
beloved children and become more and more like Him and be those strong
and healthy believers He wants us to be!
For the sake of simplicity in this article, I refer to those many
"separate entities" in my life as "my own particular "little
personalities", because that's the way I often viewed them. (Other
friends also who still suffer from this condition will be able to
identify with these "personalities".) To me, they were my own "little
helpers". Most had names and did various jobs to protect my life from
all harm, or at least that which I perceived to be "harmful", and did
a good job too, covering up well, for example, when (at the age of
eight) I hid serious illness from my worried parents for a number of
days because I couldn't cope with their anxiety, which I had already
experienced in other traumatic illness situations. I even had my own
"nurse" and "doctor" to help me through the tremendously painful
illness I suffered! I would categorically state here that these
"entities/little helpers" were NOT demons, as some would think. I
believe it would have done harm to me to try to "cast them out". They
loved me and learned to love and trust Phil who prayed with me and
eventually were happy to let Jesus make me whole again!
This "coping mechanism" worked for me for many years, until I
began to experience the healing detailed at the top of this article.
It was then that I discovered God's desire to heal my "Dissociative
Identity Disorder" also. After all, only He could really care for me
properly, only He could really shelter me from the storm and He alone
was able to make me whole again. If I wanted to be whole then He was
willing to bring about that healing!
He did a very wonderful thing! He set about making Himself known
to my various "personalities", as I may describe them here. Yes, He
even got down with them and talked and played (as they did) until they
were totally comfortable with Him. It took some months of regular
prayer as they all had developed in their own little ways and were
afraid to move out from what they knew and the way they worked; but
He was patient and waited for the right time. Once they were
comfortable and wanted to live with Him in the light, even as He is in
the light, He was able to bring them into that light and to restore
them as one whole being again. This meant that I was now healed from
the "coping mechanisms" I had adopted to take care of myself even as
far back as a small baby. He has recently talked to me some more
about my need for Him to take care of me - that is, for Him to take
care of all of me - and to protect me totally, in a far more wonderful
way than I could ever have been protected by my own "little
helpers"/coping mechanisms. . He has shown me that He can protect
those inner parts, my thoughts and feelings that get so easily hurt,
and keep me safe from the harmful weapons of Satan. What a wonderful,
loving Heavenly Father we have!
I have more healing to experience and more joy to come but, in
the meantime, I am so glad to return thanks to Him for all that He has
done so far in my life! If you think you may need healing as a result
of life's traumas, please contact Phil at Safe Place Fellowship and
someone will be glad to pray with you.
In John's Gospel, Chapter 5 and Verse 6, Jesus asks a man who had
been infirm for 38 years, "Would you like to become well?" He asks
this of a man who has waited a long time by the Pool of Bethesda
without anyone to help him and unable to help himself to get into the
water and be healed: He still offers that invitation today, that we
may become whole!
Safe Place Fellowship
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