It Sounds Like God To Me

© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved


                         It's Only a Puberty Problem

                              By Phil Scovell

          The bushes had been planted in the  L shaped corner of the house.
     They had  grown taller than  a man and were  so dense, the  boys, when
     they  played war, cowboy and Indians, or hide-and-go-seek, would often
     hide behind them.   The three little  boys 7 and  8 years old, had  to
     push there way through and behind  the bushes.  The little 4  year old
     girl went first.
          The boys had  recently been sexually experimenting,  showing each
     other their penises, touching each  other, pressing their limp penises
     between each other's buttocks  cracks, but none of them had  even been
     able to  penetrate each other  or even masturbate,  nor had  even been
     able to have  an erection, and didn't  seem to be  able to because  of
     their age.
          Once back in the corner of  the house, the bushes totally blocked
     them from  public view.  Two of the boys,  a year older, had announced
     what they were going to do.  The third boy said he didn't want to join
     in but they said he  could come and watch;  a decision he later  would
     regret as a  Christian.  The little  girl, without resistance  and not
     knowing any better, let the older  boys pull her pants down and  touch
     her genitals,  though none of the boys penetrated  her in any way, and
     then in turn,  unzipped their pants and asked her to fondle them.  She
     did.  It  was over and forgotten.  Forgotten, except for the Christian
     boy who didn't  participate but was allowed to watch.   He knew it was
     wrong but he didn't want  to be left out or laughed at  or rejected by
     his older friends.
          For  literally  decades,  psychologist   have  said  this  sexual
     activity among  children is normal.   They say, especially  with boys,
     showing  their penises, group masturbation, and even anal penetration,
     or the next best thing, is nothing  more than just the beginning early
     stages  of  puberty  and  it  feels  good.    The  same  psychologist,
     professionals in  their  field of  human  behavior, who  proclaim  the
     normality of such  exhibitions, would also agree that  the little girl
     wasn't being molested but it was just child's experimentation.  So why
     was the Christian adult man sitting in my office immersed in grief and
     guilt he could not handle?
          Praying, the man's mind immediately focused on the scene.  He saw
     everything.  He  saw nothing new  when the little  girl had her  pants
     pulled down and  she was fondled.   After all, he had  a little sister
     and back in those days, the little ones had to take a bath together in
     order  to  save  water.    He  knew what  little  girls  looked  like,
     therefore, but he was still there.   There was pain that surfaced  and
     tapped into his emotions.
          "How did you feel?"
          "I felt wrong and guilty as if I had participated in some way but
     I didn't.  I've asked God to forgive me over and over but I still feel
     guilty and as if I had molested her or something."
          "Is that true, Lord Jesus?  Is the man guilty?  Did he molest the
     little girl even though he watched what happened?"
          Silence  fell as  the man sat  stunned from the  sudden truth the
     Holy  Spirit  had revealed.    "I  just  realized what  happened,"  he
     announced with finality in his voice.
          "What is that?"
          "I did it to be accepted.  I didn't want  to be left out although
     I told the boys  I wouldn't do anything to the little  girl.  I wanted
     to watch, without  participating, so I  would still be  a part of  the
     group.   I was afraid  they wouldn't have  anything to do  with me any
     longer if I didn't, at least, watch them.  Jesus said he was there and
     saw the whole thing  even though we were hidden behind  the tall thick
     bushes.  He said I didn't sin and He forgave me for just being there."
          "How does the memory feel now?"
          "Ok.  Clean, I guess you might say.  I'm sorry for what I did but
     there's  no guilt left.  I feel free.   I know it was wrong but at the
     same time, I was  little, didn't know how to reason  things out, and I
     am forgiven for  my part I  played even though  I didn't touch her  or
     unzip my pants like the other boys.  I didn't want to be rejected."
          He was free from guilt that had tormented him for decades  of his
     life.  The  Enemy had lied  to him and made  him feel, since he  was a
     Christian, he  had been a willing  participant.  The memory  didn't go
     away but  the guilt did due  to the understanding of his  desire to be
     accepted by his  friends.   His mind  had just been  renewed with  the
     truth of God's Word.  He was no longer rejected.