It Sounds Like God To Me

© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved


                               Feelings Of Evil

                               By Phil Scovell

          I carefully watched the reports on television and listened to the
     news  broadcasts on  the  radio concerning  the  Virginia Tech  school
     shootings.  I was no stranger to the emotions I new would be generated
     since I experienced, as did everyone  else in Denver, the shootings at
     the Columbine High School.  I also knew what  this would mean to those
     with whom I pray.  They  soon began to call.  The murders  scared them
     and even  made some  feel like they  wanted to murder  as well.   That
     caused them  to fear even more.   Was this due to  mental illness that
     they suddenly wanted  to kill?  No,  is the simple answer.   Trying to
     explain it in detail  to most is impossible because they  only can see
     it from one  viewpoint and that is generally  the secular explanation.
     So allow me to use myself as an example of how such feelings sometimes
     occur even in the life of a Christian.
          A couple of days after the  school shootings, my youngest son, 24
     years of age, was in my office.  We began talking about the shootings.
     My son is a  registered gun owner and is getting his permit to carry a
     concealed weapon as well.  My son was just commenting on how senseless
     and heartless the whole situation was and, as do we all, he was trying
     to figure out how such a thing could even happen.
          As we  talked for a  few minutes, from in  front of me  and to my
     right, so  at  about the  2  o'clock position,  I  felt a  malevolence
     suddenly appear.   No, I didn't see it because I  am totally blind but
     my emotions, and  my spirit, felt his  presence.  The second  the evil
     spirit appeared,  he crashed  into me  with his  feelings of  fear and
     murder and destruction.  Words came.  "I would have used  a silencer."
     Then something felt  as if it  physically slammed into  my body.   The
     anxiety of  his presence shot off the scale.   My chest flushed and my
     stomach flip flopped.  Raw fear gripped me and I felt it physically.
          I  want you to note several things.  I am a Born Again Christian.
     I am  not living in sin  of any kind.   I am not mentally  ill either.
     Yet, I  was demonically attacked.   Was it  real?  Of  course.  No,  I
     wasn't having an anxiety attack  or a panic attack but  that's exactly
     what it  felt like when it occurred, not  to mention, the thoughts, or
     voice, that  accompanied the attack.   It lasted about  three seconds.
     Years ago, it would have lasted  hours, if not days, and perhaps  even
     weeks,  as the  memory refreshed  in my  thoughts repetitively.   Why?
     Because back then, I believed the lie  that I was flawed and something
     was wrong with me.  If people knew my thoughts, I believed, they would
     think I was mentally ill.  For that matter, when I was  about thirteen
     years old, I thought I was going to grow up and be the antichrist.  No
     fooling.   Of  course, I  didn't tell  anybody.   You  know why,  too.
     People already thought I was  crazy and needed to see  a psychiatrist,
     at least this  is what our  Christian friends at  church told my  mom,
     just because I was blind.  Imagine what they would think if they heard
     I was afraid I would grow up to be than antichrist.
          I often  tell the story  of going to  a psychologist at  a mental
     health facility  many years ago.  I went  because I was having anxiety
     and panic  attacks, hearing voices, having nightmares,  and was scared
     out  of my  mind,  as  they  say,  from just  the  fear  alone.    The
     psychologist said she was going to ask me some questions as she filled
     out my forms.  She  let me know there were some questions  that, based
     upon how I answered, she would have to report to the authorities.  For
     example, "Do  you have  thoughts of  suicide or  doing bodily harm  to
     yourself or others?  Do  you want to kill anyone?  Do  you hear voices
     telling you to do things of violence?"  I quickly said no to all three
     things.  Why?  Because to have tried explaining the  psychodynamics of
     demonics to this  psychologist would have  been, not only  impossible,
     but  detrimental.    She  would,  of  course,  due  to  her  training,
     immediately assumed I was crazy, mentally ill, and I likely would have
     been placed in  the hospital for  observation, medication, and  direct
     psychological evaluation,  and last, but  not least, put on  a suicide
     watch.  Let me return to the demonic attack to explain further.
          I mentioned it lasted about three seconds.  The reason?  I almost
     instantly became  aware, by the Holy  Spirit, that this was  a demonic
     attack.  How  did I know  this?  First, I  knew I didn't want  to kill
     anyone.  So when  I heard the words in my thoughts, "I would have used
     a silencer," was beyond the ridiculous.  Since I knew I would not say,
     or even  think,  such a  thing,  I knew  I  was hearing  a  lie in  my
          Secondly,  it  was  spoken  in   the  first  person.    This  was
     perpetrated to deceive  me into thinking that they  were really my own
     thoughts.  Only crazy people would think such a thing.
          Thirdly,  fear  flooded  my  emotions  to  almost  the  point  of
     overload.   Since God does not  work in the area of  maniacal fear and
     evil intimidation, there was only one choice left.  These were demonic
     feelings designed to mask, or cover, the actual demonic presence.  Few
     Christians  even remotely  believe demons  can do  this, that  is, put
     their feelings upon you  and especially if you are a  Christian.  Such
     things don't happen  to Christian, do they?   Then why does  James 4:7
     warn of to "Resist  the devil?"  Why did the  Apostle Paul instruct us
     to put on the whole armor of God, in Ephesians 6, and to stand against
     the wiles, or  deceitfulness, of the Enemy?  "Oh, I forgot.  You don't
     believe demons can even  put their thoughts into  our thoughts so  how
     could they  possibly use  their feelings against  our feelings?   Good
     question.   Let me quote  then, from Ephesians  6:16 and see  what the
     Bible says.
     "Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith you shall be able to
     quench all the fiery darts of the wicked."
          This is  an odd  word to  use but perhaps  the whole  thing is  a
     metaphor and has no definite meaning at all.  Of course he is speaking
     metaphorically, or  figuratively, or  symbolically.   You don't  think
     Paul  was really  suggesting  that we  all  walk around  with  a bulky
     warriors suit of armor, do you?  In  today's way of speaking, we might
     call it body armor.  No, Paul is just telling us to  be prepared.  For
     what?  For the fiery darts that will come from the Enemy.  They aren't
     real, you say?  I'm tempted to  suggest you haven't even read the  New
     Testament once, if that's what you believe, but I understand how  much
     of the  New Testament  teaching has been  explained away  and rendered
     unapplicable;  leaving  today's   Christian  exposed  and  spiritually
          The word  used for "quench"  in this verse means  (to extinguish,
     quench, of  fire or  things on  fire, to  be quenched,  to go  out, to
     quench, to suppress, stifle).  Paul used the word, I might remind you,
     by the  inspiration of  the Holy  Spirit.   So the word  was not  used
     accidentally  or  by mistake.   Nor  did  Paul throw  it in  their for
     special effects.
          The  Greek word used  for "fiery" in this  passage means (to burn
     with  fire, to  set on fire,  kindle, to  be on  fire, to burn,  to be
     incensed, indignant,  make to glow,  full of fire, fiery,  ignited, of
     darts  filled with  inflammable  substances  and set  on  fire).   The
     question  is, however,  was Paul  speaking  literally or  was he  just
     working on his poetic side of life that day.
          The word for  "darts" is (a missile, dart, javelin, or arrow).  I
     trust you  will find as interesting as I do, that this word "darts" is
     used this single time in all of  the New Testament.  Just once; making
     it unique.   So with  these three words,  quench, fiery, and  darts in
     mind, let me make some theological and spiritual observations.
          Often  we get the idea that the angels of God are feelingless.  I
     don't know  where we get  this idea, perhaps  because Jesus  said they
     didn't  marry.     A   little  tongue  in   cheek  there   but  valid,
     theologically, regardless.   So, knowing  that fallen angels,  or what
     the Bible calls  unclean spirits, devils, foul spirits,  and the like,
     perhaps  we just  assume that  demons  don't have  feelings, that  is,
     emotions as  well.   By  the way,  if God's  angelic  host don't  have
     emotions or  feelings, why do they rejoice  when someone comes to know
     Christ?  (See  Luke 15:10).  Why did  a whole bunch of  angels come to
     announce our Lord's birth and praised  God to a bunch of shepherds  or
     later hurried into  town to see if the  Messiah truly had come?   (See
     Luke  2:8-20).  I guess my point is,  if you are going to use the word
     "quench" to describe the effect  of flaming darts, or arrows, targeted
     at Christians, it might just be possible there is a little bit of pain
     involved?  No, it  doesn't say physical or  mental or emotional  pain.
     Maybe  it is  all  three?   Maybe Paul  was  just speaking  poetically
     because he didn't  have anything else to  do.  I wonder  why he didn't
     make it rhyme in that case.
          "Fiery" is  a pretty  definite word.   I mean,  when you  start a
     fire, you plan on burning something.  Did you notice that part of  the
     definition of  "fiery" was to  glow?  Glow  from what  I wonder?   The
     fiery darts, if they find their mark, will burn and perhaps even cause
     you to glow.  You?  How about your emotions maybe?
          The  word for "darts," as previously mentioned, is unique because
     of its single  usage in all  of the  New Testament.   Why would not  a
     similar word be used when referring to God?  It is because God doesn't
     deal with us in the same way Satan does.  He, Satan, walks around as a
     roaring lion,  seeking whom he  may devour.  (See  1 Peter 5:8).   Why
     does he  make so much noise?   I thought he was  an emotionless being.
     Well, a roaring  lion uses his noise  to scare and frighten  his prey.
     Do you think  there might be  a spiritual application  there?  Do  you
     think it  is even remotely  possible the Enemy attempts  to attack our
     emotions, since  they are  not born anew  yet, and  thus to  create an
     atmosphere of fear?  I hope you are agreeing with me by this point.
          Fortunately, for  us as Christian,  we can "quench all  the fiery
     darts of  the wicked."   Guess  what the Greek  word is  for the  word
     "all?"   It means,  (individually, each, every,  any, all,  the whole,
     everyone,  all things, everything,  collectively, some of  all types).
     Does that sound like Jesus leaves anything, or anyone, out?
          "Well, I just don't believe all that?"
          Fine.   Nobody is twisting your  arm.  With that  in mind, let me
     ask you one question.  How do you defend yourself from  direct demonic
     attack?  You don't experience such a thing?  How about fear.  Have you
     ever been afraid, as  an adult, in a  room by yourself?   Why?  As  an
     adult, do  you still  have trouble sleeping  in the  dark?   How about
     awaking from a nightmare and being scared  half out of your mind, with
     your heart beating  so fast, it feels like it will explode, your pulse
     racing,  and breathing heavily?  Oh,  well, that's just a nightmare, I
     guess, so the aftermath of fear and  anxiety isn't really demonic.  Is
     it?   What  about the sin  you committed,  maybe more than  once, that
     still haunts you until this day?  You've confessed it and confessed it
     and confessed it so many times, you've  lost count.  Sure, you believe
     the Bible and  you know God  has heard you and  forgiven you.   So why
     does the guilt hang around?  That  surely isn't demonic, is it?   What
     about the emotional pain you experience when a particular and specific
     memory comes to mind.  Why  won't that pain go away.  Surely  it isn't
     God's will  for you  to carry that  burden?   He said His  burden were
     light.   (See Matthew 11:30).  So,  if the pain is getting heavier and
     heavier, and keep coming back and  coming back, what causes that?   Do
     you  know?  Is it remotely possible  that these are the fiery darts of
     the Enemy you  are feeling?  Oh,  that's right.  Christians  cannot be
     attacked demonically and they most certainly cannot put their feelings
     on our feelings.  Let me give you  a little advice.  If you are trying
     to live with  these fiery darts just  described, you are going  to get
     burn and burned  badly.  Paul said we could quench all the fiery darts
     of the wicked.  I wonder if Paul got confused when he said "all."
          The real life example I  used at the beginning of  this testimony
     did happen just as I described it.   It isn't a joke and I didn't make
     it up.   Demons do exist today.   They torment, confuse,  and deceive.
     We are told in Scripture  to resist them, not  give place to them,  be
     alert  and keenly aware  of their presence,  and not to  allow them to
     take advantage of us.  All the  passages of Scripture related to these
     concepts are clearly trying to tell us to be on guard.  Are we?
          Finally, if God  can commune with  us using  His thoughts in  our
     minds, and  if we  can be  moved in  our emotions  spiritually by  the
     moving and convicting  power of the Holy Spirit,  what makes you think
     demons don't have the same access to  our minds and emotions which are
     not yet saved?
     "Wherefore  lay apart all  filthiness and superfluity  of naughtiness,
     and receive with  meekness the engrafted  word, which is able  to save
     your souls," (James 1:21).