© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
42 Raped By A Memory By Phil Scovell They were neighbors and had been for many years. They were visiting over tea. Their conversation was light and perfectly harmless. They had been friends a long time and were both born again Christians. They knew each other well. Suddenly, she slammed so hard into a violent memory, she was physically ill. The pain intensified every second until she was nearly paralyzed with fear. Her father was raping her and the suppressed horror of that memory had once been protected by alternate personalities due to dissociative Identity Disorder. Now the secret was out and she was a little 3 year old girl again and being painfully raped vaginally and rectally by a drunken father and it would be far from the last time. The lying spirits, associated with the memory, hurled their accusatory appellations of "Whore," and "Lesbian," which her intoxicated father used to verbalize as they tried to reestablish a stronghold in the little girl's life. Her hatred for sex and the mail sexual organs emotionally and mentally crashed inside of her like a detonating super volcanic reaction. My phone rang. It was early Saturday afternoon. I wasn't doing anything important but listening to the radio. I could tell it was long distance because the ring was programmed to indicate such a call. Then I heard the number from the voice of the Caller Identification as it read the incoming number. Picking up the phone, I found it difficult to even understand the panic stricken woman on the other end of the line, and I already knew who it was. As bitter tears of the lost memory flooded her voice, and the raw wounded emotions tried to cripple her ability to think, and as unresolved grief choked her words, and she relived the full blown event all over again, she did so this time all alone. However, not totally alone this time because Jesus was there. After a few moments of explanation of current events, we prayed in agreement. Exposure occurred. Jesus began dissecting, and breaking down, the various elements of the violence and identifying the lies related to the broken memory of a little girl. Light began to bloom where only darkness had dwelled for 50 years. Lies were identified and eliminated by the Holy Spirit as the truth of God was told. His presence was made known and His very existence smothered and crushed the hideous and terrifying feelings from her damaged emotions. Peace flood into the emptiness and tranquility slid in to replace the panic and pain she suffered. It was done as the Lord commanded. As I mention previously, this was the first time this Christian lady faced this memory alone. During the actual event, her 3 year old mind said, "You are too little to understand why the man you love as your father is hurting you so violently. I don't want you to remember even his words. Let me help you by giving you a friend that can keep the secret." Her alternate personalities, helpers, were thus created. Soon, many more would be developed as the sexual abuse and physical violence continued throughout her life. Some would be men with male voices; some would be women with female voices. Lying spirit joined the group by pretending to be another helper. They would have to be all sorted out later so she once again could experience singleness of mind and so it was. This flashback, however, would be different. There would be no helpers this time except The Helper of all, The Holy Spirit, who would assist in cleansing the memory, than changing it, and at the same time, fixing what was broken so there would be no more pain and so it happened. "Can God do such a thing?" God can do anything. "Why did God allow it to even happen in the first place?" Good question. Only He knows the true answer. One I might suggest is called the free will of man which God created in all of us. Another such answer, which is related, is that Satan is the father of lies and a destroyer of lives. He loves to confuse, harm, and otherwise pollute and infest a little child's mind so later, when they become a Christian, he can continually torment them by keeping guilt and fear and anger and shame, and many other such things, firmly in place and under his control. Jesus came that we might have life and that we might have it more abundantly. Now, isn't it time you experienced the same freedom in your own life?