© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
41 I Should Have Been A Man Gender Identification Confusion By Phil Scovell She was multiple personality or what is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder. The little girl's mind had been fractured and fragmented into dozens of alternate personalities from perpetual molestation and rapes by her father. Later, as she grew, her older brother took over where her father had left off. She had not only been physically raped repeatedly, but her mind and emotions had been stripped from her individuality, and the trauma she suffered deprived her of single mindedness. Now, as an adult, she wondered who she was. She eventually decided, if she were a man, she couldn't be raped and no one could hurt her any more. She found a sex change therapist and began a 2-year counseling process. Alternate personalities often, although not always, take on different voice forms. Each personality fragment has a specific area of the person's life they protect and assists that person by keeping them from facing the pain and trauma they suffered. Mari had suffered beyond anything one could imagine as a child and young teenager. Her mind fragmented into alternate personalities to assist her in coping with the pain that was buried deep inside. In one of our intercessory prayer sessions, the issue of her desire for a sex change surfaced as we prayed and a personality made itself known to explain the details. It was discovered later, during the prayer session, that this was something other than one of her own personalities. This overall idea of a gender sex change was the result of emotional reasoning, the psycho dynamics of alternate personalities, and demonic infiltration into her thinking processes. "If I were a man, nobody could rape me," became the dominate theme of her life. A little broken girl grew up to be a adult woman but the thought of being a man never went away. The rationalization began to take shape in her mind and was reinforced by lies she heard from other voices in her thought consciousness which assisted in forming the thought into reality. That is, a lie became true because it felt true. At one point, she even said she learned to urinate so it sounded like a man. During the sex change therapy process, Mari met someone who led her to a born again experience with Christ and she immediately stopped all sex change therapy. Her helpers, alternate personalities, however, did not go away just because she was born again. Later, she realized that every time the issue of being a man, or displaying masculine character traits appeared, or when she felt threatened by men, male personalities surfaced to protect her. This is not uncommon, since little girls inside often believe men can somehow protect them, even when it was men that traumatized them. Many Christian, strong Bible Believers, have a problem with the concept that God does not save the whole person at the moment of their salvation experience. If it is true that He did, you wouldn't be wearing glasses right now. You wouldn't need blood pressure medications. You wouldn't need your leg set if your leg were broken because it would never be fractured. You wouldn't get diabetes or cancer, or shingles, You wouldn't have to get your hair cut, brush your teeth, trim the hairs in your nose, clip your toenails and fingernails, you would have no need for warts, moles, and skin tag removal, or even have the need to wear underarm deodorant. Last, but not least, we would not have to bury you because you would never die. This day, by the way, the day of the resurrection of the righteous dead, is coming. When it happens, we receive glorified bodies, which will be identical to that of the body of the Lord Jesus Christ: (See Romans 6:5 and 1 John 3:2), if, that is, you are born again. We won't pass away, brain cells won't die, and even our minds will be whole and perfect. In other words, our body, soul, and spirit will be perfectly one and utterly saved. For now, our bodies need to be taken care of in all types of physical ways, like eating for example, and our minds need to be renewed: (See Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 4:16, Ephesians 4:23, and Philippians 3:9-15). So, in short, if you were born again after a car accident, in which your leg was broken, you would still need a cast. If you were led to Christ just before going to the dentist, you would still need your root canal. If you were killed in a traffic accident but had just gotten saved the day before, you would go to Heaven instantly but we'd have to bury your body because your body would be dead. If you hadn't gotten born again the day before, of course, you'd go to Hell. Your body, therefore, isn't what goes to Heaven. Not yet anyhow; that comes later. Your spirit, on the other hand leave the body the moment we die because that is where the Holy Spirit of God dwells. Absent from the body and present with the Lord, (See 2 Corinthians 5:8). There are three parts to our earthly existence according to 1 Thessalonians 5:23, "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body may be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Jesus likewise confirmed this trichotomy of human creation in Matthew 22:37. We know that we have been made a new creation in Christ at the moment of our salvitic experience according to 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation: old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." This is where the theological disagreement occurs. James even makes it worse by saying, "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls," (James 1:21). "Wait just a minute here. I thought we were "saved" at the moment of salvation. What is this thing that James is talking about concerning being saved again?" He isn't talking about being saved. According to Ephesians 1:13, we receive the Holy Spirit of promise, or the earnest down payment of our salvation, at the very moment we make Jesus Christ the Lord of our life. The Holy Spirit dwells within our spirit because that is the part of us that is made a new creation in Christ, (2 Corinthians 5:17). The soul and physical body of a person is not yet born again, or glorified, but must be disciplined by the engrafted Word. That is the natural implantation of the Word of God which is the only thing, by the way, that our newly created spirit can receive or agree with since it is God's eternal Word. Our soul, or mind, and body, or flesh, are not yet converted, made anew, and must be disciplined as we implant God's Word into our lives. The word "saved" which James employs, is the Greek word from which we get our present day word, (psyche), or what is generally considered to be the real you. At this point, somebody insists that our minds must somehow be connected with the human spirit because they know their mind isn't saved, or born again, because of the rotten things upon which they sometimes allow their minds to dwell. This is correct, that is, your mind isn't saved. That's why it needs the engrafted Word. However, since we have the "mind of Christ," (1 Corinthians 2:16), the human mind, to use a computer term, is interfaced sort of speak, with the spiritual mind. This is also why we experience conviction of sin, the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the voice of God, not to mention the voices of the Enemy trying to invade our thoughts, because we have a unregenerate mind at this point. We also have a spiritual mind, (Romans 8:27), and that mind harmonizes with the natural, or human thoughts and emotions. People often ask, therefore, what does it mean to "grieve the Holy Spirit?" Ephesians 4:30). That's easy. It is when the Holy Spirit, swelling in our newly created spirit through the salvation experience, is leading us according to God's Holy Word and our mind is trying to do the opposite, or, trying to ignore the truth of God's Word. Thus, the Holy Spirit is grieve because our body and mind are violating what is truth to the Holy Spirit. Now you know why you feel so lousy when you aren't walking with the Lord. In Mari's case, part of her mind was trying to protect her from pain. "Become a man and you can't be raped," was the logical lie of the Evil One. Lies come from only one place, at least according to Jesus, and that is the father of all lies; Satan, (John 8:44). No, this does not mean the alternate personalities of Mari were evil. Later, however, as we prayed, a demonic figure did appear and tried to regain a foothold in Mari's thinking. Jesus made sure this would not happen. How? Well, if you don't believe the first part, I know you won't believe what comes next. I'll tell you what happened in the prayer session anyway and you can believe what you wish. Mariano was the name of the personality that occasionally surfaced. He had a deep voice, talked casually, and literally sounded male. In fact, his voice sounded so much like a man, Mari's own voice really wasn't detectable unless you knew her personally. Even then, I found it amazing the voice was so masculine in quality. Mari, the real person, over the years told people her name was Mariano so many only new her by that name. It sounds, of course, either male or female so it was convenient. As the prayer session progressed, Mariano explained that he was behind the idea of Mari becoming male. It isn't, by the way, uncommon for demons to project themselves, in people with multiple personalities, as one of the collective group of helpers, or alternate personalities. Mariano was such a case. However, when he revealed, and admitted, he was behind the plan for Mari to physically become a man, the authentic child, or the real Mari, became frightened. That was a clue he wasn't who he claimed to be. I won't go into all the details of the prayer session and the conversation I had with Mariano, but needless to say, once his true nature was exposed, and Jesus revealed the truth, he was sent away. Mari described his departure. She saw him, with a suitcase in hand, walking down a hall as in an apartment building hallway. He walked out the door, down some steps, and down the sidewalk to the curb where a bus sat waiting. On the bus, a sign read, "Going no where." Mariano climbed on the bus. A tiny Mariano remained on the sidewalk and tried to regain the place it had lost in Mari. She even commented on a physical sensation of something pressing on her back as if he were jumping and trying to regain his position. We prayed more and he disappeared. Do such things like this really happen and does it work? Sure! How do I know? Well, Mari has a crush on a guy as I write this testimony. So you tell me. Does it work when a woman, who wanted to be a guy, now has a crush on a guy? Unless, of course, you explain this situation by claiming she is gay. In which case, you'd be dead wrong. Besides, gay girls aren't interested in love relationship with gay guys. Remember? Its guy guy and girl girl. When it is the other way around, it is called heterosexuality. Homosexuality means of the same kind. I realize that most of you reading this testimony don't have multiple personalities so what difference does it make to you? good question. Much of how we act as Christians are based upon lies we believe about ourselves. Depression, although it can most certainly be a chemical imbalance in the brain, also is a person who has lie based thinking. Many people, with whom I pray, are on medications. They often find, as the lie based thinking is dealt with by the True Lord Jesus Christ, that their doctor suggests a reduction in their medications because of their mental and emotional improvement they have seen in their patient. Now, what about you? Unable to get rid of that guilt? Why doesn't that shameful feeling ever completely go away. Why does the old childhood sin keep returning and tormenting you when you have confessed it to God and asked for His forgiveness hundreds of times? Could it be a lie hiding someplace in your life that you aren't able to see? Why not allow Jesus to expose the lie for what it is worth for you since He knows exactly where it is? Freedom is only a prayer away when you hear the truth of the Chief Shepherd's voice.