It Sounds Like God To Me

© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved


                               The Blind Jesus

                       the Identity Of Christ Is You

                              By Phil Scovell


     Author's Note.   This testimony contains offensive language.   If such
     bothers you as a Christian, don't read passed this point.  If you want
     to  hear  the truth,  read on.    The particular  language is  used to
     demonstrate the level of frustration people experience.  Therefore, it
     is representative in nature and not actual.  The rest is up to you.

     End of author's note.

          Recently I  was praying with a lady, by  the name of Mari, who is
     blind.  I'm blind,  too, so this normally doesn't have  anything to do
     with the prayer sessions.  However, blind people, and those with other
     disabilities,   forgive  me  for   using  the  term   disability,  are
     perpetually faced with blind related  issues which refuses to let them
     think  of themselves as normal.  What do  I mean?  Well, let's say you
     need to go to the  grocery store because you  are out of milk,  bread,
     and  Frosted Mini Wheats.  So you get  on the horn and call 25 of your
     best friends, if you have that  many, and you get a lot of  no answers
     and a boat load  of excuses and even one friend who  says they will do
     it but you'll  have to  wait until  next Thursday before  they can  go
     because their car is in the shop.  Of course, you know they have three
     cars  but you  let that one  go.   Then you  break down and  call your
     family members but  they rarely want  to help in  the first place  and
     they always  say no anyhow.   They  did this time,  too, but one  also
     added  that you should  be a better  planner and keep  track of things
     more  efficiently.   Nothing new  here,  of course,  because your  mom
     always  says that and  usually one of  your sisters, too.   You let it
     slide.   This  is all  understandable,  you've been  told by  experts,
     normally who aren't blind themselves, so you can't blame your friends,
     and God only knows  you can't blame your own family, but,  dad gum it,
     you've got to blame somebody and you can't blame  yourself, for crying
     out loud, so you have only one thing left; your blindness.  After all,
     you are truly blind; right?  So  it has to be because of your freaking
     blindness.   For that matter, if you weren't  blind, you could, if you
     had enough gasoline left in the tank, run right down to the old  store
     and buy the  things you need  for breakfast.  Even  if you are  out of
     gas,  you could walk, if the  store isn't far away,  so what's the big
     deal?  The big deal is your damn blindness and it has  been a big deal
     all your miserable freaking life.   You can never forget that you  are
     blind  because things keep  reminding you, including  people, that you
     are blind.  Bumping your head, tripping over your kid's, or grandkid's
     tricycle  they never put up, stepping  over, and falling over, the dog
     or cat,  receiving a  registered letter,  or a court  summons and  not
     having any sighted people around to tell you what  the hell it is for,
     taking  a dump  and  wondering if  you are  bleeding  from the  rectum
     because your hemorrhoids  hurt like somebody is squeezing  them with a
     pair of pliers, waking  up in the morning and discovering  one of your
     false eyes is missing, or you
     have misplaced your false teeth, or  discovering you had a nose  bleed
     during the night  and there is nobody to  see if you got  blood on the
     snow white waterbed  sheets you paid 130 bucks for, going to work with
     two   totally  different  color   shoes,  brushing  your   teeth  with
     Preparation H,  unable to  find your tampons  box, sticking  a toasted
     marsh mellow in your  from you just roasted over a  cook out fire only
     to discover a honey bee has landed on it and it stings the crap out of
     you, bumping your  face on the cardoor  window as you climb  into your
     friend's vehicle on  the way to church so everybody at church wants to
     know what  happened to your bruised face, picking  up a cold snake the
     dogs  dragged into your kitchen,  thinking it's dead,  only to find it
     isn't, drinking out  of someone else's glass  at the church  pot luck,
     entering the wrong gender public restroom, being targeted at church by
     some  concerned  parishioner and  asked  how you  got  pregnant, being
     denied a room on a second floor of a hotel because blind people  can't
     walk up  and down stairs, getting off on  the wrong floor and entering
     the  wrong  doctor's  office,  sitting  down on  the  couch  to  watch
     television only to suddenly discover one of your kids left his monster
     truck right where  you sat down, wearing two  different colored socks,
     two different styles  of cowboy boots, discovering your  dog pooped in
     the middle of  the living room right  after company has come  to visit
     and they  pointed it out to you, having  someone at church indicate to
     you  that you didn't eat  a remaining morsel of food  on your plate so
     they  stick it on  your fork and shove  it into your  mouth for you in
     front  of everybody, and  I could add  at least another  300 things to
     this short list.  The bottom line is being reminded of your blindness.
     Now, some blind  people say this isn't  a problem and they  never have
     such thoughts.  These are blind people never to be trusted.  It  could
     also be that they  are young but God  help you if you are  around them
     once they get over  50 years of age.   What does  all this have to  do
     with prayer?  Let me explain.
          As I said, I was praying recently with a lady  who is blind.  Her
     blindness,  mixed in with  all the other  things she has  faced in her
     life, felt  as if it were getting  the best of her.   Since I, too, am
     blind, I understood the feelings she was facing.  I know what it feels
     like never  to have anybody from your church  call you, let alone come
     and visit you, and I know what it feels like at church, when everybody
     shakes hands  with everybody  else but you  during the  greeting song.
     Oh, it has absolutely  nothing to do with  your blindness, of  course,
     but  people just  are busy  and they  overlook things.   Yeah,  that's
     right.  That's what it is  alright.  A chicken has lips, too.   I know
     what it feels like to be lonely.   Not lonely because you don't have a
     friend to call or  go visit but  because your blind.   I know what  it
     feels like  to be  standing in a  group of perhaps  a dozen  men after
     church, everyone talking  to each other, and soon they  all drift away
     without  a single soul even saying hello  to you.  I've set in circles
     of men at pot luck dinners on the church grounds and watched every man
     eventually get up  and leave without saying one  word to me.   I was a
     deacon in this same  church and had preached in this  same church many
     times so  don't tell me they didn't know me.  I take that back.  Maybe
     they did.  You see, one time I was sitting in the auditorium where the
     head pastor  had about 150 people come  to his Sunday school teaching.
     My wife and I got there early.  My wife went with someone, probably to
     the bathroom, and  soon a  man sat down  next to me  before the  class
     began.  "Hello, sir," he said.  My name is Frank."
          I stuck out my hand, shook his,  and said," Hi Frank.  My name is
     Phil Scovell.  Nice to meet you."
          We talked  for a couple of minutes and  one thing and another and
     finally Frank said, "I don't believe  I've seen you hear before, Phil.
     Have you been coming here long?"
          "Only 13 years," I said with a sigh wondering if I should ask him
     if  this was  his  first Sunday  or  what?   I  didn't.   Yes, he  was
     surprised.  I  hope he felt  stupid, too,  but I give  him credit;  at
     least he said hello.   As it turned out,  he was assigned to meet  the
     new people who came  to the class so  what he was doing was  his class
     participation appointment and far  from natural.   I had been in  this
     particular Sunday school class for a year so I have no idea where this
     guy had been all that time.   I mean, it is sort of  difficult to miss
     two blind people every Sunday coming in with white canes.   Unless you
     are blind yourself, of course, but I digress.
          I also know what it is like to lose friends because they discover
     you disagree with them on something in the Scriptures.  I've lost five
     close friends, four of them pastors, over  this very type of issue.  I
     know what it is like not to be accepted by your own family because you
     are blind.
          One day I called  my oldest sister just a  block away.  It was  a
     Sunday afternoon.   I  asked what  she was  doing.   At this time,  my
     youngest  sister was  living with  our  older sister  because she  was
     between marriages.  "Oh, we are just trying to fix a dumb kitchen sink
     but we can't get it," my sister confirmed.
          "What's wrong with the sink?" I asked.
          "Oh, nothing.  You  couldn't fix it any way.  It's  just going to
     be busted till we  can afford a  plumber to come in  here and that  is
     going to be a long time because neither of us have any money."
          "What is wrong with the sink?" I said a second time.
          "Oh, nothing."
          "Describe it to me," I insisted.
          She did.  I said, "I can fix that."
          "Oh, no,   It is broken  for good.   It'll take a plumber  at 100
     dollars an hour to fix it.  Thanks anyway."
          I told my sister that I had just fixed the exact same problem all
     by myself with my own kitchen sink and it works  fine and there are no
     more leaks."
          She almost believed me.
          "I'll walk  right down there.   Do you  need any other  parts?" I
          "No, we  have everything  but don't  bother, Phil.   I'll get  it
     fixed.  I'll  call one of the men  in the church and get  them to come
          "I'm leaving the  house now so  I'll be there  in five  minutes."
     She was still talking when I put the phone down.
          MY oldest  sun, he wasn't driving yet, and  I walked the block to
     my sisters.  When  I arrived, we went into  the kitchen.  It was  only
     the goose neck.  It  looked identical to mine I had just  replaced.  I
     got under the  sink, put everything together, shoot,  even a blind man
     could do it, and within  five minutes, everything was back  to normal.
     My sisters were amazed.  I went home thinking that my sisters probably
     went through  things like that  dozens of  times when they  could have
     just called their  dumb ass blind brother to  ask him for help.   They
     never did.  They still don't.
          All of this  has been said  simply to explain  I know what  being
     blind is really like.  If you meat a dishonest blind person, they will
     deny these things  bother them.  If  that is so, good for  them, but I
     for one  never wish  blindness on  anybody.   So, back  to the  prayer
     session.  I'm sorry I keep getting sidetracked.
          We prayed into some  similar issues, but in  short, she was  just
     tired of being  blind.  This provides a golden  opportunity for demons
     to attempt to gain handholds, then possible footholds, and ultimately,
     strongholds, in our  lives.  What  we are facing  is normal  emotional
     responses   to   every   day   natural   experiences   of  frustrating
     circumstances, but the Enemy never plays fair.  So, if a  lying spirit
     is around, this  makes it easy  for him.   "Yeah, nobody really  likes
     you.   Remember school?   The kids never liked you  and they were even
     blind themselves.   You don't have a  chance.  No one  from the church
     ever calls  or comes over and even  if they do make plans  to come and
     see you,  they cancel,  or worse,  they just  never show.   It's  your
     blindness alright.  Of  course, there are other  things, too, and  you
     know what I am talking about.  Why, if those people at church knew the
     things  you had done, they'd  never like you.   Why don't you just get
     drunk.  Oh, I know you haven't had  anything to drink for 20 years but
     now  sure would be a good time to start  up again.  Say, I bet some of
     your  old contacts  have some dope  you could  score.  Yeah,  let's do
     that.  You  know how good you  felt stoned.  Let's do  that.  Besides,
     just  once  won't hurt  anything.   Those people  really did  like you
     anyhow.  These Christian people  have proved they don't because, after
     all, you are  blind.  Remember?"   this scenario could be  expanded to
     include hundreds of variables  and other possibilities, blind  or not,
     and often it works.  This  time, it didn't because we prayed  together
     in agreement and let Jesus into the picture.
          Within  a few  seconds of praying,  she was  in school.   She was
     little and  everybody seemed  to move  away from  her  and she  didn't
     understand why.   A lying spirit whispered into her  thoughts and told
     her a bunch  of lies that sounded  logical to her little  girl's mind.
     She felt sad.
          Suddenly, and  this rarely  happens to me,  I saw  Jesus standing
     across  the room from the little girl who  was all by herself.  He was
     wearing sunglasses and  carrying a white cane which he  was tapping in
     front of  him as  if he couldn't  see where  he was  going.  I  nearly
     laughed out  loud but  didn't.  Jesus  surely looked  comical, though,
     which was His  plan.  I said  nothing during the prayer  session about
     what I spiritually saw as we prayed.
          Near  the end  of our  short prayer  session, lying  spirits were
     gathered up  and dismissed from  their lying  assignments against  the
     little girl.  A tremendously strong feeling came over me, as I prayed,
     to command the  lying spirits to go  blind since they used  the little
     girl's blindness against her to make her feel bad.  I didn't because I
     didn't want to suggest anything to the woman and spiritually misdirect
     her healing experience with the Lord.  This was Jesus at work  and not
          The woman began laughing.  "What's so funny?" I asked quietly.
          "A hammer came  into view and broke  something that looks like  a
     clay pot.  It shattered and all  these bug like looking things spilled
     out.  Jesus is gathering them all up,"  More laughter.  "They are  all
     blind.  Phil!  They are blind.  I am not kidding.  They are all blind.
     I can tell.  They can't see where they are going and Jesus is sweeping
     them  down a  long glass tubing  that goes  down for miles  and miles.
     They try  and cling to the sides  but it is too slippery  and they are
     falling."  Silence.  "They are all  gone now."  Her voice even sounded
     clear whereas  before, it  was depressed and  filled with  sadness and
          "Does this really happen?"
          No.   I'm making the whole thing  up.  I like  fooling people and
     misleading them.   So don't  ever call me  because I'll fool  you into
     thinking all  types of  weird things,  too.   "Besides, this can't  be
     Jesus doing this stuff.  He doesn't do this type of healing any  more,
     does he?"  It sounds like to me that you have your theology screwed on
     backwards just a little bit.  Does Jesus identify Himself with  you in
     impossible and painful situations you  experience as a Christian?  No?
     Oh, really?  Why not?   Can't you see Jesus in your life?   Doesn't He
     care  about you  and what  you  face?   You see,  this was  the second
     purpose Jesus had  in mind which  He wanted  this lady to  experience,
     that is, His true identity, with her and in her, as what she faces  as
     one  of His children.  Remember the  first?  He wanted to show Himself
     and demonstrate the buffoonery of  the enemy and expose his stupidity,
     while at the same time, demonstrating  His superiority in our lives as
     Jesus our Lord.   Is He the Lord  of your life or did  you just accept
     Him as your Savior?  Do you only have half of Jesus or did you get Him
     all at the  moment of your salvation?  If the Enemy is still torturing
     you, Jesus is still your Lord.  To whom do you turn when you feel bad?
     If you identify with  Jesus, He will identify with  you.  Even if  you
     don't identify  with Him, He  will still identify  with you.   In such
     cases, you  may not recognize His presence but  He is there because He
     said He was.  Remember where you heard it.