© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
31
Feeling Inferior
By Phil Scovell
Praying with a man one day, he said that he had something come up
recently and he could not find the source of his feelings. He even
had trouble identifying the nature of the associated emotions. The
feeling occurred when his wife, who had been handling their checkbook
for years, felt the Lord was telling her to turn the checkbook over to
him. When she said this, he told me that he instantly had a feeling
of discomfort.
When I began asking him questions, he thought the feelings were
related to when they had first married. He had purchased a computer
program to handle their checking account but due to the newness of the
software, he had made some wrong entries and thus caused them some
minor financial problems. Soon thereafter, he had been happy to turn
it over to his wife. I guessed there was more to this part of the
story but I knew it was likely irrelevant to what was really bothering
him. I suggested we just start praying with the feeling he had
described, as vague as it seemed, and let the Lord direct us as we
prayed.
His slight feeling of personal concern and emotional discomfort,
the moment we began to pray, took him back to a grade school event. A
boy had made fun of him one day by saying his clothes weren't as good
as the rest of the students. That feeling struck deep with this man
and we prayed for the Lord's truth to be revealed. He reported that
the Lord told him that he had been with him and as this man looked
into the memory again, he saw himself dressed in bright clothing that
was far beyond anything anyone else was wearing. Knowing this wasn't
the only place the Lord wanted to take him, we continued praying
together.
The Lord took him next to a memory of when he was in high school.
He had been on the football team but only played one or two games and
even then, it was in minor positions. Joining the basketball team in
another Christian high school, the coach always complimented him on
his playing during practice but then never allowed him to play during
an actual game. Again the sharp pain was felt.
Asking the Lord to expand the memory and to allow him to see the
memory the way, He, the Lord, saw it, the man then reported that he
saw a panorama of memories flashing by so rapidly, he couldn't do
anything other than briefly recognize them as old memories. He
reported that none of the pictures stopped which would allow him to
focus on any given memory. This gave me another clue and I realize
this was not the origin of this man's feelings. I asked the Lord to
reveal the true lie, or lies, in these memories collectively.
The man said, "This, I know, sounds really weird, but I feel as
if I hate myself." This admission, I then knew, would lead us to
another memory event in which the true lie would reside.
Praying again, I ask the Lord to take this man to the origin, the
real source, of his feelings of rejection, self hatred, not being
quite good enough, and being less valuable than others.
A moment passed and then he said, "This is even stranger. I am
back in a house I lived in when I was about 6 or 7 years of age. I
was in the basement and I had taken several TV trays and put them
together and lined them up in a row. I pretended I was a businessman
with people working for me and the TV trays were little tables and
desks. As I played, I took a piece of paper and just wrote a capital
T for the first letter of my name. As I looked at it, I thought to
myself how well I had done in writing the letter. Suddenly," he said
to me, "But then what I saw on the paper turned distorted and the
letter T just no longer looked right to me."
"How do you feel?" I asked.
"I just feel bad; like something is wrong with me."
At this point, it was obvious there was a demonic presence in the
room where he had been playing. I prayed and asked the Lord to show
this man where the demon was in the memory. He instantly reported
that he saw a demonic like figure seated in a chair, not far away from
where he was playing, watching everything he was doing.
I prayed again and asked the Lord to show this man the lies the
demon had implanted in the thoughts of the little boy. The man began
to speak what he felt. He felt inferior, not good enough, he'd never
amount to anything in his life, and many other related feelings. I
asked the man if he knew now where these thoughts had come from and he
said he clearly saw how the demon had implanted these lies into his
life.
At this moment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "Do not
send the demon away yourself. Ask the man to send it away."
I asked this man if the demon was still in the memory. He said,
"Yes, but he is no longer seated in the chair but standing." I
laughed to myself because I knew the demon was getting ready to leave
on his own now that he had no reason for staying. I told him to send
him away. The man prayed, told the demon to go to the place where the
True Lord Jesus Christ wanted him to go.
"Is he gone?" I asked when he had finished praying.
"Yes," he replied, "he's completely gone."
The Lord told me not to leave this memory but to ask Him to speak
further truth to this man. I prayed and asked the Lord if He had
anything else He wished to tell or show or give to this man.
After a moment of silence, the man said, "The Lord told me that
He had deliberately brought me to this place for me to learn and that
He wants to heal me in many more places." I then explain to the man
what the Lord had told me and that this memory was shown to him so he
could learn that he could use the authority over demons that God had
given to him through his Holy Word."
Returning to the original feelings, he reported he no longer felt
as he did and that everything felt clear to him.
I share this simple story of healing because it was my oldest son
with whom I prayed. He is 27 years old at this writing. He and his
wife have two girls.