© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
31 Feeling Inferior By Phil Scovell Praying with a man one day, he said that he had something come up recently and he could not find the source of his feelings. He even had trouble identifying the nature of the associated emotions. The feeling occurred when his wife, who had been handling their checkbook for years, felt the Lord was telling her to turn the checkbook over to him. When she said this, he told me that he instantly had a feeling of discomfort. When I began asking him questions, he thought the feelings were related to when they had first married. He had purchased a computer program to handle their checking account but due to the newness of the software, he had made some wrong entries and thus caused them some minor financial problems. Soon thereafter, he had been happy to turn it over to his wife. I guessed there was more to this part of the story but I knew it was likely irrelevant to what was really bothering him. I suggested we just start praying with the feeling he had described, as vague as it seemed, and let the Lord direct us as we prayed. His slight feeling of personal concern and emotional discomfort, the moment we began to pray, took him back to a grade school event. A boy had made fun of him one day by saying his clothes weren't as good as the rest of the students. That feeling struck deep with this man and we prayed for the Lord's truth to be revealed. He reported that the Lord told him that he had been with him and as this man looked into the memory again, he saw himself dressed in bright clothing that was far beyond anything anyone else was wearing. Knowing this wasn't the only place the Lord wanted to take him, we continued praying together. The Lord took him next to a memory of when he was in high school. He had been on the football team but only played one or two games and even then, it was in minor positions. Joining the basketball team in another Christian high school, the coach always complimented him on his playing during practice but then never allowed him to play during an actual game. Again the sharp pain was felt. Asking the Lord to expand the memory and to allow him to see the memory the way, He, the Lord, saw it, the man then reported that he saw a panorama of memories flashing by so rapidly, he couldn't do anything other than briefly recognize them as old memories. He reported that none of the pictures stopped which would allow him to focus on any given memory. This gave me another clue and I realize this was not the origin of this man's feelings. I asked the Lord to reveal the true lie, or lies, in these memories collectively. The man said, "This, I know, sounds really weird, but I feel as if I hate myself." This admission, I then knew, would lead us to another memory event in which the true lie would reside. Praying again, I ask the Lord to take this man to the origin, the real source, of his feelings of rejection, self hatred, not being quite good enough, and being less valuable than others. A moment passed and then he said, "This is even stranger. I am back in a house I lived in when I was about 6 or 7 years of age. I was in the basement and I had taken several TV trays and put them together and lined them up in a row. I pretended I was a businessman with people working for me and the TV trays were little tables and desks. As I played, I took a piece of paper and just wrote a capital T for the first letter of my name. As I looked at it, I thought to myself how well I had done in writing the letter. Suddenly," he said to me, "But then what I saw on the paper turned distorted and the letter T just no longer looked right to me." "How do you feel?" I asked. "I just feel bad; like something is wrong with me." At this point, it was obvious there was a demonic presence in the room where he had been playing. I prayed and asked the Lord to show this man where the demon was in the memory. He instantly reported that he saw a demonic like figure seated in a chair, not far away from where he was playing, watching everything he was doing. I prayed again and asked the Lord to show this man the lies the demon had implanted in the thoughts of the little boy. The man began to speak what he felt. He felt inferior, not good enough, he'd never amount to anything in his life, and many other related feelings. I asked the man if he knew now where these thoughts had come from and he said he clearly saw how the demon had implanted these lies into his life. At this moment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "Do not send the demon away yourself. Ask the man to send it away." I asked this man if the demon was still in the memory. He said, "Yes, but he is no longer seated in the chair but standing." I laughed to myself because I knew the demon was getting ready to leave on his own now that he had no reason for staying. I told him to send him away. The man prayed, told the demon to go to the place where the True Lord Jesus Christ wanted him to go. "Is he gone?" I asked when he had finished praying. "Yes," he replied, "he's completely gone." The Lord told me not to leave this memory but to ask Him to speak further truth to this man. I prayed and asked the Lord if He had anything else He wished to tell or show or give to this man. After a moment of silence, the man said, "The Lord told me that He had deliberately brought me to this place for me to learn and that He wants to heal me in many more places." I then explain to the man what the Lord had told me and that this memory was shown to him so he could learn that he could use the authority over demons that God had given to him through his Holy Word." Returning to the original feelings, he reported he no longer felt as he did and that everything felt clear to him. I share this simple story of healing because it was my oldest son with whom I prayed. He is 27 years old at this writing. He and his wife have two girls.