It Sounds Like God To Me

© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved



                                      18

                      From Father To Everlasting Father


                              By Phil Scovell






          For several  months, I  felt the Holy  Spirit trying  to tell  me
     something but  I could not  put my spiritual finger  on it.   I prayed
     about  it often, when  it would come  to mind, but  I simply could not
     isolate the feeling.  It seemed related to  my father.  He died when I
     was 11  years  old.   Based upon  all the  healing  I had  experienced
     concerning my fathers  sudden death, I really didn't  think there were
     other  places   of  healing   which  were   important  concerning   my
     relationship with him.  That was, however, exactly where the Lord took
     me.
          The specific memory which came to mind wasn't an event but just a
     memory image of my father.  At the time this memory  suddenly returned
     to my  memory, I was  praying with  a lady and  couldn't focus on  the
     impression due to the  lack of time.  I tried pushing  it to the side,
     at least until after the prayer session, but it kept reappearing in my
     thoughts and I could feel it in my emotions.
          As  the lady was in  silence pondering, I  quickly asked the Lord
     what  He was talking about.   He clearly said, "You  are not like your
     dad."  In two other vivid memories, the Lord had told me, "You are not
     like them because you are like me now."
          As I grew, my  mother said hundreds  of times, "you're just  like
     your dad."   Her statement was always complimentary.   I, on the other
     hand, had said it to myself many  times but negatively during times of
     stress and anxiety  and not knowing why.  My father was tormented with
     depression, inferiority, a lack of self value, and  the feeling he was
     not good enough and that he wasn't going to make it.   I never saw any
     of this  in action as  a child  growing up  but I clearly  felt it  at
     times.  Being a child, I could not discern the meaning of the feelings
     I experienced so I dismissed them.  After his  death, my mother let me
     in on some of  this information but even  then, she left out a  lot of
     details.  It  was in prayer sessions  I discovered the lies  my father
     faced through his 46 years of life.
          As I was waiting  for the lady to  respond, I finally gave  in to
     the spiritual impressions I  was feeling about my father.   I told the
     Lord that  I could  see nothing out  of place.   So, I asked  the Holy
     Spirit  to show me the lie that I knew  had to be there.  That was the
     exact  moment when  the Lord  said, "You  are not like  your dad."   I
     personally,  and automatically, finished  the sentence, "Because  I am
     like you now."  Peace and freedom filled my memory and  something else
     I would describe as relief.
          What are  you feeling today?  Is it  something you can't put your
     finger on?   Is it painful or  is it just a wound  that won't go away?
     Are you afraid?  Do you feel  guilty?  Can you say with confidence, "I
     am like Jesus now?"  Look for the presenting negative emotion you feel
     at the time because that will lead you to the lie you believe.  Why do
     you  believe the lie?  Because it feels  true.  If you need help, call
     me.