© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
18 From Father To Everlasting Father By Phil Scovell For several months, I felt the Holy Spirit trying to tell me something but I could not put my spiritual finger on it. I prayed about it often, when it would come to mind, but I simply could not isolate the feeling. It seemed related to my father. He died when I was 11 years old. Based upon all the healing I had experienced concerning my fathers sudden death, I really didn't think there were other places of healing which were important concerning my relationship with him. That was, however, exactly where the Lord took me. The specific memory which came to mind wasn't an event but just a memory image of my father. At the time this memory suddenly returned to my memory, I was praying with a lady and couldn't focus on the impression due to the lack of time. I tried pushing it to the side, at least until after the prayer session, but it kept reappearing in my thoughts and I could feel it in my emotions. As the lady was in silence pondering, I quickly asked the Lord what He was talking about. He clearly said, "You are not like your dad." In two other vivid memories, the Lord had told me, "You are not like them because you are like me now." As I grew, my mother said hundreds of times, "you're just like your dad." Her statement was always complimentary. I, on the other hand, had said it to myself many times but negatively during times of stress and anxiety and not knowing why. My father was tormented with depression, inferiority, a lack of self value, and the feeling he was not good enough and that he wasn't going to make it. I never saw any of this in action as a child growing up but I clearly felt it at times. Being a child, I could not discern the meaning of the feelings I experienced so I dismissed them. After his death, my mother let me in on some of this information but even then, she left out a lot of details. It was in prayer sessions I discovered the lies my father faced through his 46 years of life. As I was waiting for the lady to respond, I finally gave in to the spiritual impressions I was feeling about my father. I told the Lord that I could see nothing out of place. So, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me the lie that I knew had to be there. That was the exact moment when the Lord said, "You are not like your dad." I personally, and automatically, finished the sentence, "Because I am like you now." Peace and freedom filled my memory and something else I would describe as relief. What are you feeling today? Is it something you can't put your finger on? Is it painful or is it just a wound that won't go away? Are you afraid? Do you feel guilty? Can you say with confidence, "I am like Jesus now?" Look for the presenting negative emotion you feel at the time because that will lead you to the lie you believe. Why do you believe the lie? Because it feels true. If you need help, call me.