© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
11 Broken Promises Block Blessings Saying The Right Things And Still Being Wrong By Phil Scovell He was dead and he was never coming back. I hadn't seen my dad in three weeks. They didn't let young children into hospital rooms in those days, even 11 year old children, not even if it was their own father who was dying. "I always felt bad," mom used to say, "that I never did something about you and your little sister getting to see your dad before he died." I could still see when my dad died. It would be a year after his death that I would be totally blind. I remember being with mom after dad was gone. We were out in the area of our church, for some reason, and mom said she was going to stop in and see if the pastor was there. He was. Entering his large office, mom collapsed into one of the chairs in front of his desk like a broken doll and began crying. I just sat down quietly and remained silent. Children weren't often remembered in those days when tragic things happened in a family. Additionally, children were taught to remain quiet in the presence of adults. I don't remember anything about the conversation my mom and our pastor had that day but one thing. Mom said, "Philip won't have a dad any more," as the tears dripped from her cheeks. The pastor was a personal friend of my dad's. In fact, dad was the chairman of the deacon board of this large church we attended. This same man, our pastor, would later take the position of president of the Bible college I would be attending. His own son would later be the best man in my wedding. This is how close our families were. As I said, I don't remember anything other than mom saying to the pastor that I wouldn't have a dad any longer. I knew this, of course, but I wasn't told how to think so it seemed as if my mind was shut off for a few weeks following my father's unexpected and untimely death. I do remember, on the other hand, our pastor's reply to what my mother said. "I'll be his dad," he stated firmly. A ray of hope flared inside of me and I thought, "He'll never really be my dad but it sure feels good to hear him say it. Maybe we will spend time together like my dad and I used to." In my heart, unfortunately, I already knew it would never happen. He had said the right thing for the wrong reason. Praying one day with a young 19 year old lady whose life had been sidetracked due to powerful anxiety attacks, almost perpetual stomach pain and nausea, dizziness, and even phobias, the Lord spoke to me. I was under huge financial pressure at the time. Yet, that very prayer session confirmed again what the Lord had told me to do. I had been praying about our financial situation but I knew there were things in the way which was keeping my faith from working normally in God's sight. My personal prayers, therefore, focused on the issue of money and faith and believing and many related theological topics. It seemed as if my life had gone into a slow motion mode, however, because, although I was learning new things I never recognized before concerning money issues, it seemed the Biblical truth was incredibly slow in coming. During a time of the prayer session that the young lady was thinking, something flashed so brightly in my mind, it caught me off guard. I tried to quickly focus on it but she was now talking and I nearly missed what she said. We prayed again about what she was feeling in a memory where the Lord had taken us. Again, silence fell between us as she was letting the Lord minister to her. A second nuclear detonation slammed into my mind with almost a physical force behind it. A memory exploded into life. I saw myself seated next to my mom, my pastor seated on the other side of his desk, and I heard him saying, "I'll be his dad." I felt like telling the Lord, "Do you suppose we could pray about this a little later? I'm a little busy right now," but the memory solidified and I felt the concentration of pain that was in this 40 year old memory. The young lady was still thinking so in my thoughts I said, "Ok, Lord. This has got to be quick. Where is the lie because I am not seeing it." I felt the answer more than I heard it but it was there all the same. "He never kept his promise. He never became your dad." My response was likewise a feeling more than words could describe. I said, "Lord, what does that have to do with my financial problems right now?" He said, and I felt His answer, "The Enemy has deceived you into thinking I am like others who failed to keep their promises to you. I am not." I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time because the truth had just set me free in a very powerful way. At the moment, however, there was a little frightened 3 year old girl talking to me about getting lost in the amusement park and thinking that her parents must not love her because they left her. Yes, she was 3 years old at the time but she remembered it like it was yesterday even though she was 19 years of age now. Moments later, as the Lord revealed His truth to this young lady, she confessed she felt peace for the very first time when focusing on this memory. The question we all must now answer is, who is our Father and Whom will we believe? Will it be Jesus Christ, our Everlasting Father, or the father of all lies? Furthermore, we will have to allow the Lord to fix the woundedness left behind by those, who meant well at the time, but broke their promises to us. If you think this is a situation you may be facing and need help, call me.