It Sounds Like God To Me

© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved


                      Broken Promises Block Blessings

             Saying The Right Things And Still Being Wrong

                              By Phil Scovell

          He  was dead and he was never coming  back.  I hadn't seen my dad
     in three weeks.  They didn't let young children into hospital rooms in
     those days, even 11 year  old children, not even  if it was their  own
     father who was dying.  "I  always felt bad," mom used to say,  "that I
     never  did something about you  and your little  sister getting to see
     your dad before he  died."  I could  still see when  my dad died.   It
     would be a year after his death that I would be totally blind.
          I remember being with mom after dad was gone.  We were out in the
     area of our  church, for some reason,  and mom said  she was going  to
     stop in and see if the pastor was there.  He was.
          Entering his large  office, mom collapsed into one  of the chairs
     in front of his desk like a broken doll and began crying.   I just sat
     down quietly and remained  silent.  Children weren't often  remembered
     in  those days when tragic things happened in a family.  Additionally,
     children were taught to remain quiet in the presence of adults.
          I don't remember  anything about the conversation my  mom and our
     pastor had that day but one thing.  Mom said, "Philip won't have a dad
     any more," as the tears dripped from her cheeks.
          The pastor  was a personal friend of my  dad's.  In fact, dad was
     the chairman  of the deacon  board of  this large church  we attended.
     This same man, our pastor, would later take  the position of president
     of the Bible college I would be attending.  His own son would later be
     the best man in my wedding.  This is how close our families were.
          As I said, I don't remember anything other than mom saying to the
     pastor that I wouldn't have a dad any longer.  I knew this, of course,
     but I wasn't told how to think so it seemed as if my mind was shut off
     for a few  weeks following my father's unexpected  and untimely death.
     I do remember, on the other hand, our pastor's reply to what my mother
          "I'll be his dad," he stated firmly.
          A ray of  hope flared inside  of me and  I thought, "He'll  never
     really be my dad but it sure feels good to hear him say  it.  Maybe we
     will spend  time together like my  dad and I  used to."  In  my heart,
     unfortunately, I already knew it would never  happen.  He had said the
     right thing for the wrong reason.
          Praying one day with a young 19 year old lady whose life had been
     sidetracked  due to powerful anxiety attacks, almost perpetual stomach
     pain and nausea, dizziness, and even phobias, the Lord spoke to me.  I
     was under huge financial pressure at the time.  Yet, that  very prayer
     session confirmed again what the Lord had told me to do.
          I had been praying about our financial situation but I knew there
     were  things in  the  way  which was  keeping  my  faith from  working
     normally in God's  sight.  My personal prayers,  therefore, focused on
     the  issue  of  money  and   faith  and  believing  and  many  related
     theological topics.   It seemed  as if  my life had  gone into  a slow
     motion mode,  however, because, although  I was learning new  things I
     never  recognized  before  concerning  money  issues,  it  seemed  the
     Biblical truth was incredibly slow in coming.
          During a  time of  the  prayer session  that the  young lady  was
     thinking, something flashed so  brightly in my mind, it  caught me off
     guard.  I tried to quickly  focus on it but she was now  talking and I
     nearly missed  what she  said.   We prayed  again about  what she  was
     feeling in a memory where the Lord had  taken us.  Again, silence fell
     between us as she was letting the Lord minister to her.
          A second  nuclear detonation slammed  into my mind with  almost a
     physical force  behind it.  A memory exploded into life.  I saw myself
     seated next to my mom, my pastor seated on the other side of his desk,
     and I heard him saying, "I'll be his dad."
          I felt like telling the Lord, "Do you suppose we could pray about
     this a little  later?  I'm  a little busy  right now," but  the memory
     solidified and I  felt the concentration of  pain that was in  this 40
     year old memory.
          The young lady  was still thinking so in my thoughts I said, "Ok,
     Lord.  This has got  to be quick.  Where is  the lie because I am  not
     seeing it."
          I felt the answer more than  I heard it but it was there  all the
     same.  "He never kept his promise.  He never became your dad."
          My  response  was  likewise  a  feeling  more  than  words  could
     describe.  I said, "Lord, what does that have  to do with my financial
     problems right now?"
          He said, and I felt His answer,  "The Enemy has deceived you into
     thinking I am like others who failed to keep their promises to you.  I
     am not."
          I wanted to cry and  laugh at the same time because the truth had
     just set  me free in  a very  powerful way.   At the moment,  however,
     there was a  little frightened  3 year  old girl talking  to me  about
     getting lost in  the amusement park and thinking that her parents must
     not love her because  they left her.  Yes, she was 3  years old at the
     time but she remembered  it like it was yesterday even  though she was
     19 years of age now.  Moments later, as the Lord revealed His truth to
     this young lady, she confessed she felt peace for the very  first time
     when focusing on this memory.
          The  question we all  must now answer  is, who is  our Father and
     Whom  will  we believe?    Will it  be  Jesus Christ,  our Everlasting
     Father, or the father of all lies?  Furthermore, we will have to allow
     the Lord  to fix the woundedness left behind  by those, who meant well
     at  the time, but broke their promises to  us.  If you think this is a
     situation you may be facing and need help, call me.