© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved
7
Afraid Of Heaven
By Phil Scovell
I was 11 when my dad died. If I heard it once, I heard it a
thousand times; "Well, Phil, I'm sure sorry about your dad but the
Lord took him home and he is in a far better place now." I tried
smiling my replies but sometime tears came instead. I couldn't blame
these Christian friends for saying what they did because it was all
they knew to say. They branded me, unfortunately, with pain and
sorrow for literally decades with their well meaning attempts at
comforting remarks.
Recently I was talking with my friend, George Roberts. We had
experienced many prayer sessions together and in fact, he had been
healed in dozens of places. He said, "Sometimes when I think about
dying and going to Heaven, I'm afraid. Fear just seems to come up for
no reason."
I told this brother in the Lord that I could understand that
perfectly. Take my situation for example. People, well meaning
people, tried their best to encourage a little 11 year old boy
concerning his father's sudden death. With a little mental help, and
it wouldn't take much, I could have thought the following.
"The Lord took my dad home. Why would He, of all people, take my
dad away from me. Doesn't he know I'm sad? Doesn't He know I'm
afraid? Doesn't He know I'm scared. Doesn't the Lord know my mother
is hurting and crying and upset? Why would He do that to my mother.
She never hurt anybody. I want my dad back right now. You mean I
have to go to Heaven to ever see my dad again? So why don't I just go
right now. Maybe I could run out into the busy street and get hit by
a car so I could be with my dad again."
The truth is, these were likely many of my thoughts and from
praying with many others who have lost a parent when they were very
young, similar thoughts of fear and anger and even guilt filled their
little minds, too. In my friend's case, here's what happened.
As we were talking one evening, he mentioned about being afraid
to go to Heaven yet he knew he was born again and wanted to go to
Heaven. He confessed his spiritual and theological confusion about
this feeling of fear. Using myself as an example, I explained to my
friend how easily it could have happened that a lie was implanted in
my thinking as in, "You have to die to go to Heaven but death is
scary," or, "Don't you want to go to be with your daddy? You know
where the knives are. Use one of those," or, "You don't want to go to
Heaven because death is horrible and that's the only way you'll ever
get there." Now, I hear someone saying that no such thing is
possible. Then I challenge you to come and sit with me in prayer
sessions and hear it for yourself. Yes, such lies do, and can, be
implanted in the unsuspecting minds of children during tragic
experiences which the little minds cannot comprehend. From where do
the lies come? You get one guess and I'll give you a hint. It isn't
God.
As we talked, my friend said, "Hey, I'm getting healed as we
talk. A memory about this very thing just came up as you explained
your situation to me."
"What is it?" I asked.
He said, "Well, I was about 5 or 6 years old and playing in our
front yard. My mother came to the screen door, opened it, and told
me, with tears rolling down her face, that grandpa had just died.
Then she closed the door and walked away crying."
"What did you feel?" I asked.
"Confused," he said right away. "I could not understand how
people could be so sad if Heaven was such a wonderful place."
I noted the reversed logic of his statement and knew it was no
childhood misconception. "Lord Jesus," I said, "would you explain
this memory to George and let him see what you see?"
The man began laughing.
"What is so funny?" I asked.
"I see a dark figure standing next to my mother. Not quite human
but more of a shadowy looking thing. I can't tell if it has something
to do with me or if it was associated with my mother," he concluded.
"It makes little difference," I said, "because we don't want him
around. Do we?"
"No, I sure don't," he said with finality.
"Then, let's get rid of him," I suggested.
My friend started laughing again.
"What's so funny now?" I wanted to know.
"The demon is shaking. He is trembling all over and I can tell
he wants to leave but he can't yet. It's like he is stuck in place."
We prayed a short prayer together, turning the unclean spirit
over to the True Lord Jesus Christ, and my friend then said, "Well, he
is still shaking but he is walking down the front steps of the house,
down the front sidewalk, opening the front gate, closing the gate, and
now he is walking down the sidewalk along the street." A couple of
silent moments passed and my friend said, "Well, he's gone now."
My friend also then told me that as we prayed together, he could
hear the demon saying, "No, no, no," over and over. I explained to my
friend that the truth is, demons are afraid of us because of the
authority in Christ we have. Most Christians normally feel and act
just the opposite. That is, we are afraid of the demon but the real
truth is how much they truly are afraid of Christians. I further
explained that the Lord was keeping this demon in place and not
allowing him to leave on his own until we commanded him to leave.
That's why the demon was shaking and he was shaking from the second
the Lord revealed to my friend why the demon was there, which was, to
implant fear and confusion concerning Heaven in a little boy's mind.
Where are you today in your relationship with the Lord? Do you
walk in His authority, power, and dominion He has over the darkness?
If you are still walking in fear, call me and let Jesus begin His
healing work in you.