It Sounds Like God To Me

© Copyright 2007 by Phil Scovell - All Rights Reserved


                              Afraid Of Heaven

                              By Phil Scovell

          I  was 11 when  my dad died.   If I  heard it once,  I heard it a
     thousand  times; "Well,  Phil, I'm sure  sorry about your  dad but the
     Lord took  him home and  he is in  a far better  place now."   I tried
     smiling my replies but sometime tears  came instead.  I couldn't blame
     these  Christian friends for  saying what they did  because it was all
     they knew  to say.    They branded  me, unfortunately,  with pain  and
     sorrow  for  literally decades  with  their well  meaning  attempts at
     comforting remarks.
          Recently I was  talking with my friend,  George Roberts.  We  had
     experienced many  prayer sessions  together and in  fact, he  had been
     healed in dozens  of places.  He  said, "Sometimes when I  think about
     dying and going to Heaven, I'm afraid.  Fear just seems to come up for
     no reason."
          I  told this brother  in the  Lord that  I could  understand that
     perfectly.   Take  my situation  for  example.   People, well  meaning
     people, tried  their  best  to encourage  a  little 11  year  old  boy
     concerning his father's  sudden death.  With a little mental help, and
     it wouldn't take much, I could have thought the following.
          "The Lord took my dad home.  Why would He, of all people, take my
     dad away  from me.   Doesn't  he know I'm  sad?   Doesn't He  know I'm
     afraid?  Doesn't He know I'm scared.  Doesn't the Lord know my  mother
     is hurting and crying and  upset?  Why would He do that  to my mother.
     She never hurt anybody.   I want my  dad back right  now.  You mean  I
     have to go to Heaven to ever see my dad again?  So why don't I just go
     right now.  Maybe I could run out into the busy street  and get hit by
     a car so I could be with my dad again."
          The truth  is, these  were likely  many of  my thoughts  and from
     praying with many  others who have lost  a parent when they  were very
     young, similar thoughts of fear and anger and even  guilt filled their
     little minds, too.  In my friend's case, here's what happened.
          As we were  talking one evening, he mentioned  about being afraid
     to go to  Heaven yet he  knew he was  born again and  wanted to go  to
     Heaven.   He confessed his  spiritual and theological  confusion about
     this feeling of fear.  Using myself  as an example, I explained to  my
     friend how easily it  could have happened that a lie  was implanted in
     my  thinking as in,  "You have  to die  to go to  Heaven but  death is
     scary," or,  "Don't you want to  go to be  with your daddy?   You know
     where the knives are.  Use one of those," or, "You don't want to go to
     Heaven  because death is horrible and  that's the only way you'll ever
     get  there."    Now, I  hear  someone  saying that  no  such  thing is
     possible.   Then I  challenge you  to come and  sit with me  in prayer
     sessions and hear  it for yourself.   Yes, such  lies do, and  can, be
     implanted   in  the  unsuspecting  minds  of  children  during  tragic
     experiences which the  little minds cannot comprehend.   From where do
     the lies come?  You  get one guess and I'll give you a hint.  It isn't
          As we talked,  my friend  said, "Hey,  I'm getting  healed as  we
     talk.   A memory about this  very thing just came  up as you explained
     your situation to me."
          "What is it?" I asked.
          He said,  "Well, I was about 5 or 6  years old and playing in our
     front  yard.  My mother  came to the screen door,  opened it, and told
     me,  with tears  rolling down  her face, that  grandpa had  just died.
     Then she closed the door and walked away crying."
          "What did you feel?" I asked.
          "Confused,"  he said  right away.   "I  could not  understand how
     people could be so sad if Heaven was such a wonderful place."
          I noted the  reversed logic of his  statement and knew it  was no
     childhood  misconception.   "Lord Jesus," I  said, "would  you explain
     this memory to George and let him see what you see?"
          The man began laughing.
          "What is so funny?" I asked.
          "I see a dark figure standing next to my mother.  Not quite human
     but more of a shadowy looking thing.  I can't tell if it has something
     to do with me or if it was associated with my mother," he concluded.
          "It makes little difference," I  said, "because we don't want him
     around.  Do we?"
          "No, I sure don't," he said with finality.
          "Then, let's get rid of him," I suggested.
          My friend started laughing again.
          "What's so funny now?" I wanted to know.
          "The demon  is shaking.  He is trembling  all over and I can tell
     he wants to leave but he can't yet.  It's like he is stuck in place."
          We prayed  a short  prayer together,  turning the  unclean spirit
     over to the True Lord Jesus Christ, and my friend then said, "Well, he
     is still shaking but  he is walking down the front steps of the house,
     down the front sidewalk, opening the front gate, closing the gate, and
     now he is walking  down the sidewalk along  the street."  A couple  of
     silent moments passed and my friend said, "Well, he's gone now."
          My friend also then told me that as we prayed together,  he could
     hear the demon saying, "No, no, no," over and over.  I explained to my
     friend that  the truth  is, demons  are afraid  of us  because of  the
     authority in Christ  we have.  Most  Christians normally feel  and act
     just the  opposite.  That is, we are afraid  of the demon but the real
     truth  is how  much they truly  are afraid  of Christians.   I further
     explained  that the  Lord  was keeping  this  demon in  place and  not
     allowing him to  leave on  his own  until we commanded  him to  leave.
     That's why the  demon was shaking and  he was shaking from  the second
     the Lord revealed to my friend why the demon was there, which  was, to
     implant fear and confusion concerning Heaven in a little boy's mind.
          Where are  you today in your relationship with  the Lord?  Do you
     walk in His authority,  power, and dominion He has  over the darkness?
     If  you are  still walking in  fear, call  me and let  Jesus begin His
     healing work in you.