Unconnected Linked Memories

Phil Scovell

I have at least three Infant memories of which only one

was confirmed by my mother. I won’t recollect all three memories

except for the one related to the topic of linked memories which

are seemingly unconnected.

I was literally an infant when this first of three memories

occurred. I told my mother about it many years ago, before she

passed away, but she had no memory of it herself so she couldn’t

confirm the reality of the memory I had.

The memory was when I must have been about two or three

months of age. It is a snapshot type picture, that is, a single frame

with no other things involved except myself, the room, and the crib

I was in. I was in the basement of a church. No, I have no idea

how I know this but when I see the memory in my thoughts even

yet today, I know I am in the basement of a church. There is some

sunlight still coming through the windows but it is nearly sundown

because I remember the light was turning to dusk. I also somehow

knew it was in a church, a small country church, or a church in a

small town, where my father was preaching. He often drove 50 to

60 miles on Sunday mornings, or evenings, to country churches

without pastors and preached, at sometimes, every Sunday for

several months until the church was able to afford a full time

pastor. On Sunday evenings, sometimes morning services, too, the

family went with him. In this case, as I said, I could tell by the

light slanting through the basement windows, evening was fast

approaching. It was also warm so I new it was summer type

weather outside. I wasn’t hot, or uncomfortable, but it felt just

right to me. I was lying on my back. A baby bottle was lying on

top of me but the nipple had slipped out of my mouth. I was alone

but I was aware someone wasn’t far away, my mother perhaps, or

some lady in the church watching me while mom played the piano

for the service upstairs or while she sang a duet with my father.

No, neither one of them could sing very well and mom had a high

squeaky voice but I learned a long time ago, it didn’t make any

difference in smaller churches such as we attended when dad was

preaching. Normally nobody could play the piano or sing very

well in the church anyhow. Dad could play the harmonica very

well, however, and as kids, we used to always beg him into playing

at home because, Corky, my fox terrier dog, hated the sound of

that instrument. He would howl, bark, and carry on something

terrible when dad began to play. The piano never bothered Corky

but boy did he hate the harmonica. So, back to my memory.

As I said, I was the only person in the memory event. The

most memorable part of the actual memory picture, however, was

the safety I felt. No fear, no worry, and absolutely nothing

frightened me about being alone. I just felt perfectly content.

There is no more, nor less, to this memory. That was it; plain and

simple. So, what does such a memory have to do with anything?

First, let me tell you that I heard, on Focus on the Family,

many years ago, Doctor Dobson, and two guest child

psychologists, on the radio. They had written a book and recorded

some tapes about this very issue of tiny children, even babies,

having memories. My mom actually heard the program and

ordered the tapes for me because she knew of my Infant memories.

Doctor Dobson actually confessed that he, too, had a few of

incredibly early enfant memories so I guess I’m not so crazy after

all. The child psychologists affirmed that children with very early

memories of this nature are generally highly creative people.

In English class during my senior year of high school, we

had been given a reading assignment. I had met with my teacher at

least once because I had given her one of my short stories and she

wanted to talk to me about it. She was one, of two, high school

English teachers that strongly suggested, as a 17 year old high

school student, to consider becoming a professional writer. I

thought they both were joking at the time.

In this lady’s English class, after we had conducted

the reading literature assignment, which had some poetry

we were required to read, she was asking student’s opinion

about the poetry. I generally am not a fan of most poetry,

especially the classical type, but one of the poems caught

my interest. I still have it on my computer to this day.

Believe it or not, it was written by the husband, Percy

Shelley, whose wife wrote Frankenstein, Mary Shelly, in

the early 1800’s. If you wish to read “The Cloud, click on

the link at the bottom of this article. By the way, the only

classic I read in high school that I truly liked was

Frankenstein and not because it was scary, like I figured

from seeing the movie, but because of the immensity of

Christian truism the story carried. I only read it once, it

was too boring to read more than once, but I remember it

well.

During the class discussion, of which I

rarely participated, when the topic of the poem by

Shelley, called The Cloud, came up, most students who

replied, said they didn’t like the poem at all. I raised my

hand, to the teacher’s amazement, and when she

acknowledged me, I told her the poem was one of the best I

had ever read and that I rarely cared for old poetry of any

type back then. She then asked me why, along with some

other related questions, and then she paused and said, “You

know something, Phil. Knowing you as I do, I’m not at all

surprised you like The Cloud by Shelley because you are an

abstract thinker.” I knew it was a compliment but it was

years later before I understood what she meant.

My so-called abstract thinking, as it were, according to my

long ago English teacher, turns out to be a spiritual asset once the

Lord called me to be an intercessor years ago in 1985 when I was

about 33 years young. It has been in recent years, about the time I

turned 50 years of age, before I had a spiritual understanding of the

abstract thinking concept. In prayer sessions, I find myself

thinking in ways that assists the person in thinking about

possibilities on unraveling confusing and confounding memories,

concepts, dreams, and personal experiences. No, it isn’t a skill, a

learned technique, or spiritual, or mystical, methodology I obtained

by being smart. That’s something I ain’t, smart, that is. I’m just a

common old western boy, more farmish than city sophisticated,

who wears a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, no horse yet, and lives

a basically simple life. I’m not rich, highly educated, I only have a

3-year Bible seminary degree in theology, so I can’t even qualify

as a Bible scholar, theologian, a Scriptural expert, or certainly I am

no Bible answer man. If labeled anything, I’m just a layman who

thinks Jesus is the only thing worth talking about overall. So, now

let me return to the topic of unconnected memories which are

linked to show you how Jesus can heal things we cannot even

comprehend.

The second memory is older, that is, I was a young man in

my earliest of twenties. It isn’t important to describe the second

memory in detail but it is related to confusion, rejection, and even

anger and resentment. It occurred, as is so often the case, just by

an experience was forced old wounds to the surface which I didn’t

even know at the time I had. Now, in my late fifties, and after

literally decades of perpetual recollections of the second memory,

a connection between the two, totally unrelated memories was

made by the Holy Spirit. It isn’t as complicated as you might

think. In fact, it is so simple; you’ll wonder why I didn’t

psychologically make the connection of the two memories myself.

I didn’t, because I couldn’t, and only the Holy Spirit could by

making the connection between two wounded areas of my life.

Besides, it was spiritual in nature, and not psychological, in the

first place. The first memory I described, had no pain or

woundedness associated with it at all. In fact, it is a good and

pleasant and comforting memory, and whenever it surfaces, even

to this day, I have a pleasant, fuzzy, warm and secure feeling

associated with the enfant memory. So how could two totally

different memories, one good and one spiritually injurious, be

linked, or associated, when it comes to being healed? Good

question and here is the answer.

During the literally years the second, unpleasant, and

painful, memory surfaced in my thoughts and emotions, I

continually, and this is an automatic thing, that is, I don’t have to

practice it, it just happens because of what I know prayer to be,

focused on the memory event and spiritually examined all the

emotional painful elements of the memory as I tried hearing God’s

voice related to the pain. As already mentioned, I felt some

emotional pain, rejection, resentment, anger, loneliness, that’s one

I hadn’t mentioned yet, and just plain frustration. I attributed the

whole thing to my youthfulness, I think I was just 19 at the time, in

fact, I know I was just 19 at the time now that I think about it, and

figured it meant nothing. Nothing, that is, until I was in my fifties.

Then it really started appearing frequently in my thoughts and

emotions and the more it did, the more spiritually frustrated I

became. Why? Because, the truth of the memory was not

forthcoming. I often gave up trying to figure it out and just turned

it over to the Lord to some day show me. Fortunately, he finally

did.

As I have said for many years, painful memories, and

wounded experiences from confusion and personal uncertainty are

used by the Enemy to keep us spiritually unbalanced in many

various ways. Additionally, some areas of woundedness will not,

and cannot, be healed until other areas are first spiritually repaired

by the Holy Spirit. This is not to make you a better person, that is,

the more inner healing we experience is designed to make us a

better person or even a better Christian; it is designed to make us

more identified with Christ. This is, quite simply, Lordship

salvation. People will, and do, confuse it with being a better, more

spiritual, and Godly, Christian. It is no such thing and the one who

thinks so, is trapped by pride, legalism, and perpetual works

salvation in order to maintain a stable, so thought, Christian

relationship with God through Christ. Nothing could be further

from the truth of God’s Word. Plus, such Christian, so called,

behavior never works in the long run, regardless how hard we try.

In recent weeks, as I consider the second memory that

continually was surfacing in my mind and emotions, I simply

could not see the problem. Oh, sure. Lots of things were wrong in

the memory but it had nothing to do with the present.

When I was praying recently, the enfant memory of

the baby being in the basement alone, immediately popped to the

surface of my mind. This confused me even more because, no

matter how I viewed the memories which I associated in later adult

life, I simply could not find a comparison to this first memory

except it related directly to the enfant in the basement. In one, I

felt safe and secure and content. In the other, I was frustrated,

rejected, and totally confused about my Christian identity. So

where was the comparison? Upon asking the Lord that very

question, the Holy Spirit finally showed me. The only connection

between the two memories was based upon the first memory and

the feelings I had of safety, security, and contentment. Jesus then

showed me that He was in both memories and how I felt was how

He wanted me to feel in the second. The Enemy, on the other

hand, clouded the second memory with doubt and fear and

confusion and thus the presence of the Lord wasn’t detected. Now,

through prayer, the connection was made and I could feel Jesus in

both places. Thus, two totally unrelated memories were, in fact,

linked and the second could not be healed without the revelation of

the Holy Spirit imparting the truth found in the first memory.

What was that truth again? It was Jesus being in both places at the

same time. That’s right; twenty years apart. He was there. By the

way, this immediately healed dozens of other similar memories

along the same lines over decades of time. Why, because the Lord

continually, although I examined many other similar memories,

always took me back to this one place when I was just 19 years of

age. Once again, I saw how certain wounded areas of our life can

only be healed when we allow Jesus to heal only in His way and in

His time.

Isn’t this a difficult way to live? On the contrary; it is the

easiest Christian life one could possibly ever experience. No, of

course, it doesn’t mean life becomes easier, less stressful, and

minus heart ache, worries, and concerns. It means that Jesus

becomes more and more the Lord of your life; your entire life.

One thing many people with whom I pray tell me, “I didn’t realize

Jesus was clear back there in my childhood.” Most confess at this

point, “How could that be? I wasn’t even a Christian until I was

25 or 30 years old.” Regardless of what you believe, I personally,

along with many others with whom I’ve prayed, have seen, and

experienced, Jesus clear back to our birth; some, as in my case,

still in the womb. Yes, I know it sounds weird but I don’t care

what you believe; I know Jesus for whom He is in my life and He

was at my birth and showed me why. Read, “I Born happy,” on

my website and you’ll understand the particulars of that birthing

experience.

I can confirm three amazingly distinct experiences in my

life the form the beliefs I have to this very day. My salvation, of

course, when I was just five years of age, the experiences in, “I

Flew Kites With Jesus,” on my website, and the one I just

mentioned; “I Born Happy,” which is also on my website as

previously mentioned. You are welcome to believe, or disbelieve,

whatever you like but I know Jesus personally in a way I never

dreamed was possible. I again stress, this is automatic, that is, in

my spirit where the Holy Spirit dwells, and I never have to work at

being a better, more successful, Godly Christian. Jesus has done

all of that for me already. All I am required to do is walk with

Him in holiness. Wait just a minute. Don’t I still sin? Of course,

but First John 1:9 still works just as quickly and easily and

smoothly today s it did when John wrote it, or did you overlook

that eternal promise in God’s Word. The general problem is,

however, we haven’t been healed enough to believe the truth and

Jesus said it was the truth that would set us free. He wasn’t just

talking about salvation because He confirmed to His disciples that

He was sending the Holy Spirit to assist us in our every day life.

Now, when are you going to allow Jesus to heal you? Are

you striving to become perfect? Is you goal to be Spirit filled,

maybe speak with other tongues, achieve a spiritual status in the

church as a Godly man or woman, and maybe even witness, or

perform, a miracle or two before you die or before the Lord

returns? Good luck. In the mean time, I’m living my Christian life

as each day unfolds and letting Jesus be the Lord of all my life. It

is a lot less work that way. If you prefer performance based

Christianity, then God bless you. I’m just not that good of a

Christian mimic.

End Of Document

Safeplace Fellowship

Phil Scovell Denver, Colorado USA

Mountain Time Zone

Phone: 303-990-9953

phil@SafePlaceFellowship.com