The Sadness Of Suicide Isn't Death, It's life.
By Phil Scovell
I picked up the phone when I realized who was calling. He called
occasionally from the other side of the country. We had been friends
for well for nearly a quarter century and once had attended the same
church.
He didn't sound well, his voice was rough and weak, but I asked
how he was doing anyhow. He replied that he wasn't doing so well so I
asked him what was wrong. He informed me he was calling me from a
mental health facility because he had recently attempted suicide. He
didn't have much time to talk but later we would talk more.
Before I could even ask any questions, he requested I pray about
something. Of course, I said I would but he said he meant something
different. I listened as he asked me to pray if God wanted me to
still be his friend. I asked him why he was asking me such a
question. It was because he was afraid I wouldn't want to be his
friend any longer because of what he had done. When he explained the
nature of his prayer request, I told him I would not pray about any
such thing because we were friends before and we were friends now and
nothing would ever change between us regardless of what had happened.
Turning on the radio, I dialed up a local Christian stations. A
man was teaching whom I have heard often and although I don't agree
with a few things he teaches, I respect his overall ministry.
He was teaching on where Christians go when they die. He
believes, and this is at least one thing with which we would disagree,
that Christian sleep in Christ and don't go to Heaven until the
resurrection. This is an old felonious doctrine that I thought died
out with the last apostle, whomever that was, but apparently not,
because this man still believes, without using the terminology, in
"soul sleep." I do not believe in such a teaching but I listened
anyway.
During the course of his teaching, he told the story about a
recent funeral he attended. He said that a teenage boy, who lived in
his neighborhood, had committed suicide by killing himself with a
shotgun. I thought he was rather cavalier, that is to say,
nonchalant, about the way he began his story of this young man's life
and sudden death. I hoped the young man's family weren't listening to
the same radio program to which I was tuned. Yes, I understand the
preacher was trying to be earthy, or another way of saying it might
be, he was trying to bring his teaching down to earth, but there is no
reason to become dumber than dirt in your attempt. I for one didn't
appreciate his style but then what do I know, I'm just a dumb preacher
myself. Anyhow, as I was saying, he began telling this story simply
to use the sermon preached at the teenager's funeral as an example of
what isn't true about going to Heaven. Let me explain what he was
saying.
The youth pastor, of the church the family apparently attended,
was speaking at the funeral. The building was packed, standing room
only, according to the radio teacher, and mostly with teenagers from
the church and high school the boy attended. The radio teacher said
there wasn't a dry eye in the place. He, on the other hand, disagreed
with the youth pastor concerning what Heaven was like and, when,
Christians who die, go there. This was, as I have said, because he
personally believes in soul sleep, or what today we might call
suspended animation, if you watch Star Trek I mean, and that
Christians sleep in Christ until the resurrection of the dead at
Christ's return. He literally said, Christian go no where when they
die in this life but sleep in Christ. Yes, it's stupid but some
people think, and believe, this doctrinal interpretation of this issue
and there isn't much of a way of changing their mind so I won't even
try.
I eventually turned the radio off and sat for a moment thinking,
not so much about his teaching, but about the story he used concerning
the young man who had committed suicide and to whose funeral he
attended. It bothered me. I didn't know why yet but it bothered me
because something was wrong about the story.
A couple of days passed, and the story came to mind several times
until I realized what was wrong.
The radio minister said that following the funeral, he stood and
watched as all the teenage friends of this young man were crying,
hugging each other, and grieving over the loss of there friend. I've
preached funerals, been to many more than I have preached, including
that of both my parents, and friends and relatives who have passed
away, so I understand the brief and the sharp emotional pain we suffer
at, not only a funeral, but the loss of a loved one in the first
place. It was this part of the story that disturbed me the most
without realizing why until the Holy Spirit revealed the truth to me.
As I focused on the death of this young man, I recognized it was
clear, this young man had way more friends than he realized. I also
thought, if he could come back and see all those who truly loved him,
and who were now weeping and grieving over the loss of his friendship,
he wouldn't have taken his own life. Yet, as I considered this, I
realized, this still wasn't what bothered me. After all, I didn't
know him personally, but I wish I had and here is why.
What disturbed me about this story was not the young man's death
but his life. He left his life, for some reason, not knowing he had
hundreds of friends, young and old, and he died without the personal
knowledge, emotional confidence, or even with the spiritual awareness,
that he had a single person he could trust with his deepest of
feelings. I wanted to cry then myself because that indeed was the
truth that should have been revealed at the funeral. In other words,
where were all his friends when he needed them the most.
You cannot read the Bible from cover to cover without recognizing
how responsible we are for each other as brothers and sisters in the
body of Christ. Yet, huge monstrous ministries that broadcast live on
radio and television networks around the world, down to the smallest
home based churches meeting in living rooms or tiny rented storefront
shopping malls, have forsaken the most foundational teachings of God's
Word concerning personal responsibility for our brothers and sisters
in the Lord. The most contact of personal relationship the average
Christian has is when they go to church and say, at the very least,
"Good morning," to those they pass heading down the aisle toward their
favorite spot where they have likely sat for decades. We sometimes
stick around church for a few minutes to talk with, so called,
"friends, but otherwise, we have little contact.
I ask again, where were all his friends, including the radio
preacher telling this story who claimed he lived, and I quote, "Just
down the street," from the boy who took his own life. In my opinion,
those left will have to answer that question in that young man's
behalf some day. In fact, the radio preacher, implying he knew the
young man and was "a neighbor," is going to be first in line to
explain to Jesus where he was when the young man needed someone the
most.
In my case, I had to apologize to my friend who called from the
mental health facility. I had to tell him that based upon prior
conversations with him, and from my personal prayer times, I knew,
once his elderly ill father, whom he had been caring for, passed away,
he would be having more serious problems. I did not have a direct
phone to my friend because he preferred I not call him at the home of
his father's because he felt more comfortable calling me instead.
Yet, I was still responsible because I am his Christian brother,
personal friend, and I knew he was facing a difficult time in his
life. I won't make that same mistake again.
How many of our own Christian brothers and sisters are falling
through the cracks because we aren't listening, are too busy to spend
time with the hurting, and too preoccupied with all of our own
problems to carry the burdens of others. Yet, you say, "I am one of
the hurting. I am suicidal. I am afraid. I have no friends upon
whom I can rely." I, for one, have experienced that spiritually
crippling loneliness, so if you are one who has been forgotten, or
have been allowed by the church to fall through the cracks, as it
were, I'll do my best to be here for you and when I can't? I know
someone, to whom I can introduce to you, who will never leave you nor
forsake you. Yes, I know you can't even believe that about Him right
now but He can show you His spiritual intimacy, of which He desires to
share personally with you, that is so far beyond anything you have
ever dreamed, you'll find total completeness in Him.
Safe Place Fellowship
Phil Scovell
Denver, Colorado
Mountain Time Zone
Phone: 303-507-5175
WWW.SafePlaceFellowship.COM
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