You Are Gold
By Phil Scovell
People often ask blind people what they see. they mean, of
course, do you just see blackness or total darkness all the time? The
answer if different for many blind people.
take my wife for example. She has never seen. she dreams like
anyone else. She visualizes and pictures things described to her.
She even describes her own concepts of color. she is, as my mother-
in-law used to say, quite savvy about what colors go together,
especially when it comes to clothing, and much more than I am. She
even wrote a story once, when she was in the school for the blind,
about the difference between black and pink. I find that quite
In my case, on the other hand, I did not go blind until I was
about 11 years old. Colors to me are still quite vivid. In fact, I
think in color. As I type this, I see hundreds of varieties of shapes
and colors floating around in front of me and if as I were looking
into a very sophisticated and intricate kaleidoscope. Yes, I peered
through such devices before I went blind. Back in my hippy days of
the late sixties when I was doing LSD and other such drugs, my colors,
and geometric shape, expanded and shined brilliantly. I have no idea
why. I don't even know why I see colors in the first place.
Years ago, I must have been about 26 years of age, I had my
second eye removed. I had the first one removed at about age 15 due
to glaucoma and severe pain. The second one was removed largely due
to discomfort relating to bright light and other such things. So,
yes, both my eyes are now artificial.
I told my eye doctor about my kaleidoscope effect and he
cautioned me that, once the eye was removed, the optic nerve would be
severed and that the colors my go away. He was concerned I might be
worried about that. I assured him it wasn't a problem. It didn't,
however, happen. In fact, when my eye was removed and the optic nerve
cut, for several days, while still in the hospital, I saw the most
beautiful bluish purplish color that I had ever seen and it blanked
out all other previous colors. It was truly emotionally rapturous to
see. Eventually, the kaleidoscope effect returned, however. when I
mentioned to the eye doctor about the beautiful blue and purple
curtain of haze hanging in front of my eyes, he suggested it might be
like getting hit in the eye with a ball pein hammer and seeing stars.
Eventually, after a few days, everything turned to normal, if you call
what I see normal, and the visual kaleidoscope phenomenon resumed.
Now, what does all of that have to do about the title of this
article: "I See Gold?" I'm glad you asked. Let me explain.
Before I do, however, let me add something else you may find
unusual. I see words in color. For example, my name, "Phil," is
white when I picture it in my mind. My wife's name is, "Sandy," and
it is Navy blue. The name "Jan" is a pale green. My daughter's name
is "Gretchen" and it is a grassy green when I picture it in my
thoughts. I could keep this up all day but this should be enough to
give you an idea of how I think. No, none of this bothers me nor do I
consciously think of it.
So, with all of this information in mind, you may very well
understand when I tell you that when I pray, or when I am praying with
someone, or sometimes when I am just thinking about the Lord, I'm
referring to The True Lord Jesus Christ, of course, I sense, and sort
of see, yellow, that is, yellow as in the color of the sun for
example. To be more specific, it is like the rays of the sun I see.
I actually, it would seem, sense it more than really seeing it. When
this occurs, it is not a solid and isolated color. By that I mean, it
is not fixed or stationary. It is yellow as if the sun is shining
into my thoughts. Sure, it's all in my head, but it happens,
nonetheless. You may choose to consider it all psychological, but it
makes little difference to me, because I have a different idea. I
never thought much about this until one day I realized it happened a
lot but only when thinking, about, and specifically, praying, to the
One day, for the fun of it, I said, "Lord, why do I see yellow
light shining around in my thoughts when I think of you or pray with
someone?" I received a one word answer but I understood immediately.
With this single word answer, I felt in my spirit, and I'm sorry
if that has no meaning to you, but I felt in my spirit, something
spiritual. You could even say I felt something theological in nature.
This has happened to me many times so it didn't alarm or bother me.
In fact, I was pleased and smiled when I felt it. What did I feel? I
felt purity, as in refined perfect gold. If you know anything of the
bible, you know Gold often depicts the purity and holiness of God.
So, naturally, the single word answer was obvious and I rejoiced at
what I felt.
What is wonderful about this concept is that it is also who I am
in Christ. Not bad, hey? Since the Bible clearly indicates we are
His children and that we, in fact, have inherited everything He has,
the concept shouldn't seem disjointed or out of place theologically.
I have experienced, yes, literally experienced, the omnipresence of
God. It would take a book to explain so you'll just have to take my
word for it for now. I likewise have literally experienced, through
prayer, other Bible doctrine, as well as things considered
theological, but this one was short and sweet. Now when I sense, more
than actual see, the yellow gold shining in my thoughts, I know what
it means. Do you?
Safe Place Fellowship
Mountain Time Zone
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