You Are Gold

                               By Phil Scovell

          People  often  ask blind  people what  they see.   they  mean, of
     course, do you just see blackness or total darkness all the time?  The
     answer if different for many blind people.

          take my  wife for example.  She has never  seen.  she dreams like
     anyone else.   She  visualizes and pictures  things described  to her.
     She even describes her own concepts  of color.  she is, as  my mother-
     in-law  used  to say,  quite  savvy  about  what colors  go  together,
     especially when it  comes to clothing, and  much more than I  am.  She
     even wrote a  story once, when  she was in  the school for the  blind,
     about  the difference  between  black and  pink.   I  find that  quite

          In my case, on  the other hand,  I did not go  blind until I  was
     about  11 years old.  Colors to me  are still quite vivid.  In fact, I
     think in color.  As I type this, I see hundreds of varieties of shapes
     and colors  floating around in  front of me and  if as I  were looking
     into a very  sophisticated and intricate kaleidoscope.   Yes, I peered
     through such devices before  I went blind.   Back in my hippy days  of
     the late sixties when I was doing LSD and other such drugs, my colors,
     and geometric shape,  expanded and shined brilliantly.  I have no idea
     why.  I don't even know why I see colors in the first place.

          Years ago,  I must  have been  about 26  years of age,  I had  my
     second eye removed.   I had the first one removed at  about age 15 due
     to glaucoma  and severe pain.  The second  one was removed largely due
     to discomfort relating  to bright  light and other  such things.   So,
     yes, both my eyes are now artificial.

          I  told  my  eye  doctor  about my  kaleidoscope  effect  and  he
     cautioned me that,  once the eye was removed, the optic nerve would be
     severed and that the  colors my go away.  He was  concerned I might be
     worried about that.  I  assured him it wasn't  a problem.  It  didn't,
     however, happen.  In fact, when my eye was removed and the optic nerve
     cut,  for several days,  while still in  the hospital, I  saw the most
     beautiful bluish purplish color  that I had  ever seen and it  blanked
     out all  other previous colors.  It was truly emotionally rapturous to
     see.  Eventually,  the kaleidoscope effect returned, however.   when I
     mentioned  to the  eye  doctor  about the  beautiful  blue and  purple
     curtain of haze hanging in  front of my eyes, he suggested it might be
     like getting hit in the eye with a ball pein  hammer and seeing stars.
     Eventually, after a few days, everything turned to normal, if you call
     what I see normal, and the visual kaleidoscope phenomenon resumed.

          Now, what  does all of that  have to do  about the title  of this
     article:  "I See Gold?"  I'm glad you asked.  Let me explain.

          Before I  do, however,  let me  add something else  you may  find
     unusual.   I see  words in  color.  For  example, my name,  "Phil," is
     white when I picture  it in my mind.  My wife's  name is, "Sandy," and
     it is Navy blue.  The name "Jan"  is a pale green.  My daughter's name
     is "Gretchen"  and it  is  a grassy  green when  I  picture it  in  my
     thoughts.   I could keep this up all  day but this should be enough to
     give you an idea of how I think.  No, none of this bothers me nor do I
     consciously think of it.

          So,  with all  of  this information  in mind,  you may  very well
     understand when I tell you that when I pray, or when I am praying with
     someone, or  sometimes when  I am  just thinking about  the Lord,  I'm
     referring to The True Lord Jesus Christ, of course, I sense,  and sort
     of see,  yellow,  that is,  yellow  as in  the color  of  the sun  for
     example.  To be more specific,  it is like the rays of the  sun I see.
     I  actually, it would seem, sense it more than really seeing it.  When
     this occurs, it is not a solid and isolated color.  By that I mean, it
     is not  fixed or stationary.   It is yellow  as if the  sun is shining
     into  my  thoughts.   Sure,  it's  all  in my  head,  but  it happens,
     nonetheless.  You may choose to consider  it all psychological, but it
     makes little  difference to me,  because I have  a different idea.   I
     never thought  much about this until one day  I realized it happened a
     lot but only  when thinking, about, and specifically,  praying, to the

          One day, for the fun  of it, I said, "Lord,  why do I see  yellow
     light  shining around in my thoughts when  I think of you or pray with
     someone?"  I received a one word answer but I understood immediately.


          With this single word answer, I felt  in my spirit, and I'm sorry
     if that has  no meaning  to you, but  I felt in  my spirit,  something
     spiritual.  You could even say I felt something theological in nature.
     This  has happened to me  many times so it  didn't alarm or bother me.
     In fact, I was pleased and smiled when I felt it.  What did I feel?  I
     felt purity,  as in refined perfect gold.  If you know anything of the
     bible, you know  Gold often depicts  the purity and  holiness of  God.
     So,  naturally, the single word  answer was obvious  and I rejoiced at
     what I felt.

          What  is wonderful about this concept is that it is also who I am
     in Christ.   Not bad, hey?   Since the Bible clearly  indicates we are
     His children and  that we, in fact, have  inherited everything He has,
     the concept shouldn't seem  disjointed or out of place  theologically.
     I  have experienced, yes,  literally experienced, the  omnipresence of
     God.   It would take a book to  explain so you'll just have to take my
     word for it for now.   I likewise have literally experienced,  through
     prayer,  other   Bible  doctrine,   as  well   as  things   considered
     theological, but this one was short and sweet.  Now when I sense, more
     than actual see, the yellow gold  shining in my thoughts, I know  what
     it means.  Do you?

     Safe Place Fellowship
     Phil Scovell
     Denver, Colorado
     Mountain Time Zone

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